CalliopePurple
Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline
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This is copied right from my LJ because I didn't wanna type it up again.
Well, I'm back in Missouri. Yes, it's Tuesday and not Friday. I left three days early because things were just that miserable.
The bus ride there, although delayed to the point where I arrived in PA six hours late, was only made tolerable because of the gentleman who bought me food, gave me his coat when I was cold, and even bought me a phone card so I could let Mandi know I was going to be late. I hope karma has good things in mind for his future.
Got there, everything started off well enough. Watched Moulin Rouge with Mandi and her friend Andy after I met her parents, who were disappointed in her for having someone over when they wouldn't be there because of something in the past. Slept in the basement because they were leaving in the morning.
Friday, we watched a lot of Saiyuki, talked, and generally just chilled out. It was a good day.
Things started going downhill Saturday, when we had to help her sister, Mailie, leave her ex-husband's house. Mailie's boyfriend, Mike, Andy, and another of Mandi's friends, Lacey, were all over. Four new people, who all tend to be loud when excited. Me, who hates lots of new faces and loud noise. See where things don't mesh?
I had a minor panic attack, calmed down with chamomile tea and a little time playing around with a mini rock garden, then put on the happy face long enough to go downstairs and join then for some "Would You Rather", which was amusing.
Sunday, I was still moody and I noticed that Mandi wasn't getting as close to me as she had been the other day. Asked her about it later and all I got was that she was having sensory overload issues and didn't want to be touched. Was warned that might happen, so I didn't think anything of it until bed, when there was a note saying she was sleeping in the room with Mailie because I'm the one triggering the overload.
Cried myself to sleep out of confusion while listening to my angst CD. It was about then that I had the feeling things weren't working out.
Monday, we talked enough for me to learn that, because I'm so high-strung emotionally, she can't handle being within a couple feet of me without going into sensory overload. And I thought I was the empath with shielding issues. The one person I can't read freaks in my presence. Yeah, we had the "this just won't work" talk and I decided to come home early. I'm single again, oh joy </sarcasm>
Ride home was fairly uneventful. Maybe if people ask or get curious enough, I'll type up the little travel journal I kept, complete with listing the songs playing in my head and all the random things that popped into my head.
Worst part of coming back here was leaving my CD case on the bus. Now I have to listen to the possessed Winamp from hell when I'm really emotional. Times like these are when Winamp acts up the most.
_____________________________
Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.
Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute
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