tahlina
Posts: 4
Joined: 10/29/2007
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Tahlina
it's wacky stuff hm? I know.. : )
you are not alone in your wonderment about that.
If you have ever followed me into a dentist office and listened to me demand laughing gas just to be able to take ONE novacaine needle > You would not beleive I am the same person that has been frequently found kneeling before her Master with a multitude of needles strategically placed on my body by him, my face a glow and so totally in adoration & euphoria, its nearly pathetic..
teehee
I crave taking pain from him..feeling and enduring the extreme sensations..
When I have asked the question..am I a masochist? He doesn't think so..
His take on this is :
I am not excited by the pain, I am excited by the administration of the pain onto me..the mindset it takes me to ...and the feeling of taking and enduring it from him..
if I were masochist > I would become aroused by the feel of pain on my skin/body...administered by anyone and any mindset... or self ( even ) ..
well, when he explains it > it makes sense to me LOL
example:
if I reached down right now and scraped my nails deeply up the length of my thigh...it would hurt and I wouldn't like it.
however> there are times when I am with him, or even talking with him on the phone, and my mind is in a certain "place" > and I am feeling an emotional intensity ( pent up at times ) where exactly what I want to do is dig my nails into my thigh and scratch as hard as I can ....and when I do> it feels intense but not painful, feels like a deep ache has been released and replaced with warm liquid energy.
not sure that makes sense to you ...but it happens to me.
when it comes down to it tho' does it matter if what I feel is masochistic or if what he feels is sadistic at times?
doesn't really matter what its called or labeled. We know what we "feel " : )
hope some of this might have helped or at least made sense.
lol cyndi somehow that made perfect sense to me, i'm gradually being drawn deeper & i'm loving every moment.
< Message edited by tahlina -- 10/30/2007 11:54:35 AM >
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RE: confused! - 
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