When a Dom asks Sub to wear something unflattering.

When a Dom asks Sub to wear something unflattering. (Full Version)

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octavia -> When a Dom asks Sub to wear something unflattering. (10/29/2007 5:26:32 PM)
So here is my dilemma. I'm a subby dating a Dom who likes to play dress up. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for it. It appeals to the princess in me. [:D] The problem comes when he asks me to wear things or assume positions that I know are going to be unflattering for me. I get off on thinking that he finds me sexy and well.. I just know there is nothing sexy about my body in some of those poses/outfits. I've done it sometimes, just knowing the whole time that I looked horrid. Of course I can't get sexually aroused when I know I look so bad. Plus, it leaves me feeling embarassed and ashamed. So my questions are these; From the subby perspective, should I just do it, grin and "bare" it, even thought I know it looks bad? Or should I tell him, upfront that it's not going to look good and try to convince him to give me more control over what I wear and how I wear it? From the perspective of a Dom would you rather have an unsexy, completely obeying subby or have one tell you, " that is not going to look the same on my body as it did on the model at the store." and suggest other outfits and types and/ or styles. Sometimes I feel like there are different types of sexy and I am just a different type than what he is looking for. I mean, I got sexy.. just not cheerleader sexy. kwim?

laurell3 -> RE: When a Dom asks Sub to wear something unflattering. (10/29/2007 5:30:18 PM)
I'm guessing he's with you because he finds you attractive already. I doubt he has the same analysis of the positions/outfits you do...we all tend to be a bit harder on ourselves. I would go with it and enjoy it. l

RosesHaveThorns -> RE: When a Dom asks Sub to wear something unflattering. (10/29/2007 5:32:35 PM)
Do you feel comfortable enough asking what he finds sexy, and then perhaps finding a comprimise for the two of you? There could be a nice middle ground that neither of you are aware of. And do you mind me asking what exactly you two are interested in, if it's not too personal?

AquaticSub -> RE: When a Dom asks Sub to wear something unflattering. (10/29/2007 5:32:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: octavia From the subby perspective, should I just do it, grin and "bare" it, even thought I know it looks bad? Or should I tell him, upfront that it's not going to look good and try to convince him to give me more control over what I wear and how I wear it? When it comes to outfits that only he is going to see me in, I just go along with it. It really doesn't matter if I think I look sexy because if he thinks I look sexy, he is going to treat me like I look sexy. Which makes me feel sexy. [:)]

adoracat -> RE: When a Dom asks Sub to wear something unflattering. (10/29/2007 5:33:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: octavia So here is my dilemma. I'm a subby dating a Dom who likes to play dress up. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for it. It appeals to the princess in me. [:D] The problem comes when he asks me to wear things or assume positions that I know are going to be unflattering for me. I get off on thinking that he finds me sexy and well.. I just know there is nothing sexy about my body in some of those poses/outfits. I've done it sometimes, just knowing the whole time that I looked horrid. Of course I can't get sexually aroused when I know I look so bad. Plus, it leaves me feeling embarassed and ashamed. So my questions are these; From the subby perspective, should I just do it, grin and "bare" it, even thought I know it looks bad? Or should I tell him, upfront that it's not going to look good and try to convince him to give me more control over what I wear and how I wear it? From the perspective of a Dom would you rather have an unsexy, completely obeying subby or have one tell you, " that is not going to look the same on my body as it did on the model at the store." and suggest other outfits and types and/ or styles. Sometimes I feel like there are different types of sexy and I am just a different type than what he is looking for. I mean, I got sexy.. just not cheerleader sexy. kwim? Daddy loves me for who i am, inside and out. he thinks i'm beautiful, erotic, and sexy. i dont see it... but i believe him when he told me "u don't hav to just accept what ur Master tells u". (i adore Daddy, but he takes such shortcuts!) its part of my submission to do as he wishes....even if i feel stupid, and silly, and dont think i look good. HE does. and that's all that matters in the end. if you dont like the way you look in something, tell him, but dont refuse. ask him if you could wear something different another time.....then abide by his wishes. of course i'm the kinda kitten who keeps old tshirts and panties on hand just so that he can cut them off me, too. kitten, who feels no shame in walking through the mall wearing the kitty ears, even when it isnt october....

Myster -> RE: When a Dom asks Sub to wear something unflattering. (10/29/2007 5:38:52 PM)
Keep in mind I'm coming from my own perspective here. A girl should wear what her Master tells her to wear. It's his pleasure you're after so go after that.

Phoenixandnika -> RE: When a Dom asks Sub to wear something unflattering. (10/29/2007 5:39:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: octavia From the subby perspective, should I just do it, grin and "bare" it, even thought I know it looks bad? Or should I tell him, upfront that it's not going to look good and try to convince him to give me more control over what I wear and how I wear it? When it comes to outfits that only he is going to see me in, I just go along with it. It really doesn't matter if I think I look sexy because if he thinks I look sexy, he is going to treat me like I look sexy. Which makes me feel sexy. [:)] I am going to second this notion. I could be wearing a potatoe sack and if he treated me like I was sexy it would turn me on and it make me feel sexy and desirable. Blessed be, Nika

MissMagnolia -> RE: When a Dom asks Sub to wear something unflattering. (10/29/2007 5:44:00 PM)
Most women find themselves embarrassed when a certain position is used, that shows all our stretch marks, floppy bits, flabby bits, bits that we wish we could chop off or hide, BUT............................... Your man obviously finds you sexy in whatever outfit/position you're in. That's a GOOD THING, ENJOY!!![8D]

BossyShoeBitch -> RE: When a Dom asks Sub to wear something unflattering. (10/29/2007 5:46:46 PM)
You do it . Period. But hopefully he will soon realize that you know how to dress up to his liking very well without his input. I know exactly what you mean though. There have been times where Michael has instructed me to wear a certain item of clothing.. I do it, but I am fairly certain he notices that I don't quite have that same air of confidence.. I also notice that these items fail to knock his socks off in the same way that things I pick out do.. A few weeks ago, we were going to a party and he walked in the room when I was just about ready... He stopped in his tracks and just stared.. I can't remember his exact words, something about my beauty leaving him breathless or speechless.. It was the look on his face I will remember always... From your posts, your Dom sounds like a cool guy.. He'll hand the reins back over to you soon... Unless of course he wants to dress you like that because it makes his cock hard to see you embarrassed.. Then you are S.O.L. my dear..[;)] Oh, and can I borrow the belly dancing outfit sometime??

justheather -> RE: When a Dom asks Sub to wear something unflattering. (10/29/2007 5:47:39 PM)
Have you considered that your dom might find it incredibly gratifying (and a huge turn on) that you are willing to be not pretty ...for him? If you can inhabit that in the moment, you might find yourself enjoying it on both a masochistic and a service level at the same time.

breatheasone -> RE: When a Dom asks Sub to wear something unflattering. (10/29/2007 5:48:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: octavia From the subby perspective, should I just do it, grin and "bare" it, even thought I know it looks bad? Or should I tell him, upfront that it's not going to look good and try to convince him to give me more control over what I wear and how I wear it? When it comes to outfits that only he is going to see me in, I just go along with it. It really doesn't matter if I think I look sexy because if he thinks I look sexy, he is going to treat me like I look sexy. Which makes me feel sexy. [:)] Ok...I really almost agree with everything you said....Its just that I'm with the OP on this one...that kind of embarrassment and shame I understand ...so I personally would say to my Master something like..."Baby....I hear that You like outfit "A" but what do You think of "this"....I'll try both on. You tell me which one makes me look even more stunning than I already am.".....LOL [:D] My Master and I have that kind of communication....I actually get a say [:)] ...I just don't get the final decision making...[;)]

Invictus754 -> RE: When a Dom asks Sub to wear something unflattering. (10/29/2007 5:52:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: octavia I just know there is nothing sexy about my body in some of those poses/outfits. I've done it sometimes, just knowing the whole time that I looked horrid. Have you ever heard of "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder?" quote: Or should I tell him, upfront that it's not going to look good and try to convince him to give me more control over what I wear and how I wear it? You may not think it looks good, but maybe he thinks it looks good. quote: From the perspective of a Dom would you rather have an unsexy, completely obeying subby or have one tell you, " that is not going to look the same on my body as it did on the model at the store." and suggest other outfits and types and/ or styles. I have told a friend of mine who has the same complaint (her waist is bigger than she likes and she hates wearing anything that accentuates it) to wear something that shows cleavage. If most guys see cleavage, all they have on their mind are your boobs. They won't notice your freshly done pedicure, or your Prada handbag...they will be thinking "If she leans over far enough, I wonder if I'll see her bra...or mayber her nipples?" and they won't care if you think you are not wearing the most flattering outfit. Boobs. Show 'em. You won't go wrong.

octavia -> RE: When a Dom asks Sub to wear something unflattering. (10/29/2007 5:53:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch You do it . Period. But hopefully he will soon realize that you know how to dress up to his liking very well without his input. I know exactly what you mean though. There have been times where Michael has instructed me to wear a certain item of clothing.. I do it, but I am fairly certain he notices that I don't quite have that same air of confidence.. I also notice that these items fail to knock his socks off in the same way that things I pick out do.. A few weeks ago, we were going to a party and he walked in the room when I was just about ready... He stopped in his tracks and just stared.. I can't remember his exact words, something about my beauty leaving him breathless or speechless.. It was the look on his face I will remember always... From your posts, your Dom sounds like a cool guy.. He'll hand the reins back over to you soon... Unless of course he wants to dress you like that because it makes his cock hard to see you embarrassed.. Then you are S.O.L. my dear..[;)] Oh, and can I borrow the belly dancing outfit sometime?? Exactly! I can tell by the look on his face sometimes. I do not have the type of body that rocks a cheerleader outfit. and sure, you can borrow it sometime! [;)]

octavia -> RE: When a Dom asks Sub to wear something unflattering. (10/29/2007 5:55:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Phoenixandnika quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: octavia From the subby perspective, should I just do it, grin and "bare" it, even thought I know it looks bad? Or should I tell him, upfront that it's not going to look good and try to convince him to give me more control over what I wear and how I wear it? When it comes to outfits that only he is going to see me in, I just go along with it. It really doesn't matter if I think I look sexy because if he thinks I look sexy, he is going to treat me like I look sexy. Which makes me feel sexy. [:)] I am going to second this notion. I could be wearing a potatoe sack and if he treated me like I was sexy it would turn me on and it make me feel sexy and desirable. Blessed be, Nika Yes agreed. But sometimes he puts me in it and I don't think he sees anything different than I do. All the flabby bits and such, are amplified not hidden or minimized. So the question then is, does he want me sexy or obedient?

AquaticSub -> RE: When a Dom asks Sub to wear something unflattering. (10/29/2007 5:56:32 PM)
Oh I completely understand feeling unsexy. When I moved into this house, I was so excited. It was a model house and had mirrors all over the place - particularly in the bedroom. Well, some months later I got some contacts for renacting. We had sex and I got a good look at what I looked like in the mirror. wince But I also had to realize that he'd been having sex with me for over a year and seemed to enjoy the activity, and the view, quite a bit. It was kinda a "I have to get over it" situation because it was either get over it or stand there and try to convince him that I'm not sexy during sex. All things considered, that didn't seem to be the best course of action! [;)]

octavia -> RE: When a Dom asks Sub to wear something unflattering. (10/29/2007 6:01:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RosesHaveThorns Do you feel comfortable enough asking what he finds sexy, and then perhaps finding a comprimise for the two of you? There could be a nice middle ground that neither of you are aware of. And do you mind me asking what exactly you two are interested in, if it's not too personal? LOTS of stuff! LOL Do you mean what type of dress up? quote: ORIGINAL: Invictus754 I have told a friend of mine who has the same complaint (her waist is bigger than she likes and she hates wearing anything that accentuates it) to wear something that shows cleavage. If most guys see cleavage, all they have on their mind are your boobs. They won't notice your freshly done pedicure, or your Prada handbag...they will be thinking "If she leans over far enough, I wonder if I'll see her bra...or mayber her nipples?" and they won't care if you think you are not wearing the most flattering outfit. Boobs. Show 'em. You won't go wrong I agree! and I do have boobs.. ( very nice ones if i do say so myself ) and he keeps putting me in things that minimize them and accentuate my very un beautiful waist ( I carry most of my extra 20lbs in my waist)

BossyShoeBitch -> RE: When a Dom asks Sub to wear something unflattering. (10/29/2007 6:02:11 PM)
I know how you feel.. My husband loved to take pictures of me deepthroating him, or us kissing, or of my face while I was about to cum or cumming. He did it to show me how beautiful and sexy I was and he wanted me to see what he saw (the actual "view" not spiritually.) I saw myself making goofy faces and holy crap I look just like my mother!! Not exactly a turn on for me..lol

AquaticSub -> RE: When a Dom asks Sub to wear something unflattering. (10/29/2007 6:05:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: octavia So the question then is, does he want me sexy or obedient? I'd guess both but I find one leads to the other. If I obey and do my best, he regards warmly and does all the evil things that make me feel no matter what I'm wearing. He is also quite clear about the fact that he doesn't give a damn what I think about my appearence, he finds me sexy and he won't have me say otherwise.

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: When a Dom asks Sub to wear something unflattering. (10/29/2007 6:06:55 PM)
Maybe you don't find these things attractive but he obviously does or he wouldn't keep asking you to do them. Sometimes what others see is not what we see.

octavia -> RE: When a Dom asks Sub to wear something unflattering. (10/29/2007 6:08:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub Oh I completely understand feeling unsexy. When I moved into this house, I was so excited. It was a model house and had mirrors all over the place - particularly in the bedroom. Well, some months later I got some contacts for renacting. We had sex and I got a good look at what I looked like in the mirror. wince But I also had to realize that he'd been having sex with me for over a year and seemed to enjoy the activity, and the view, quite a bit. It was kinda a "I have to get over it" situation because it was either get over it or stand there and try to convince him that I'm not sexy during sex. All things considered, that didn't seem to be the best course of action! [;)] LMAO! Does seem a bit.. self defeating doesnt it! Oh my!

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