RE: Follow up to my post yesterday (Full Version)

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RCdc -> RE: Follow up to my post yesterday (10/30/2007 11:05:11 AM)

When people make the mistake of forgetting that people who participate in BDSM practises are people from the general populace, you get statements like -
'I feel strongly that too many women  have joined the BDSM community as submissives for reasons that are not based on healthy perspectives.'

People are People, to quote, and there are fucked up people and there are those who think they know it all and there are those that know too little, or too much.  But they are people. Dividing the 'BDSM' peeps from so-called 'vanilla' peeps is about as unhealthy as it gets.
 
No one can save everyone.  Not everyone wants saving.  Concentrate on yourself, people are responsible for themselves - whether they own, dominate or submit.
 
the.dark.




Kondolinni -> RE: Follow up to my post yesterday (10/30/2007 11:08:39 AM)

ownedgirlie,

Nobody... not me, or any other respondant to this or the original thread, has suggested we dimiss or segregate anyone.

You are the sole exception.

Before you pontificate, I know. You did not mean to imply that YOU want to segregate... you are still the first to broach the subject.

Why are you so angry? I am often taken aback by how unaware most people are of how what they say reveals what they think, or feel.

If you want to know how I feel about this issue, it is more than  spelled out in this and the original post. You still (thank god) have the right to disagree. Enjoy it. You may live to see it taken away.

What would you have? An antiseptic world where no-one is able to freely express their opinions or ideas? Don't you realize how important it is to tolerate ANY opinion? Do you (and others who have posted here a gazillion times) not realize that the free expression of ideas is the basis for almost every freedom we enjoy? Not to mention the more simple fact that having the same topic come up again and again is an indicator that the subject is important to A LOT of people?

The places you find hubris and intoleration is our society is amazing.

In the past, people who felt that way were DIRECTLY responsible for every monster who has ever tried to own the world, or start a war, or steal a country, being able to subvert personal rights, and get away with their plans.

I'm done with this thread. But, I can't wait to see how you massacre the points I raise in this response owing to your limited understanding and stunted point of view. So, have at it. I'll check back later to give myself a good laugh.




DarkDaddyZ -> RE: Follow up to my post yesterday (10/30/2007 11:11:01 AM)

What the @#$%^&* have I missed the past few days of not watching boards?

Have a great Halloween everyone!  Seems to exhausting to even attempt to catch on [:D]




subtee -> RE: Follow up to my post yesterday (10/30/2007 11:44:27 AM)

I did read the OP and all of the subsequent posts. I was surprised by your emotion, the seemingly intense feeling you described. I've been also surprised by the vitriol with which it was met. I'm trying to get used to that on the boards, it happens so much.

It seems to me that it is these emotions that are important; after all, we'll not understand the submissive's mindset behind her message, nor is it likely we'll ever know what ultimately transpired between her and the potential dominant she was going to meet. Again, it seems to me, the hypothetical sub's/slave's motivations and/or past experiences leading to those motivations to live or seek to live the lifestyle are not as important here, now, as what causes you to feel--as you characterized it--"hurt" by those choices.

Too, I think it would be very interesting to understand the emotion behind the sometimes vitriolic responses to your hurt, or the emotion behind choosing to find it disningenuous or superior, judgmental, whatever the case may be.

I believe the OP posted to express an emotion, a feeling. That is what I would be interested in understanding. That and the emotions behind the venomous postings with which it was sometimes met. 





sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Follow up to my post yesterday (10/30/2007 11:54:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kondolinni

I feel strongly that too many women  have joined the BDSM community as submissives for reasons that are not based on healthy perspectives. I have met (both online and in real life) too many of them to discount this as just an aberation. In my (very humble) opinion, the potential for further possible hurt in this venue is too great for these women to engage in without first having resolved the issues which place them in an un-healthy mind-set, if for no other reason than to protect themselves, and to maximize their chances of actually finding what their heart desires, as well.


I didn't read the original post, and will not comment upon it as a result.  But this passage has me wondering several things:
 
1.  By what basis have you determined who (and how many) have joined the BDSM community for unhealthy reasons?
 
2.  Are you degreed in the mental health field that we should give any weight to your opinion?
 
3.  Why do you single out submissives?  You don't see unhealthy reasons as the motivation for Dominants/Tops to join the community?
 
4.  How is it that you are able to divine that someone is not actually following their true heart's desires?
 
5.  Why should we not view this as just another in a long line of "sensitive Dominant protector for all those poor submissives unable to fend for themselves" posts?
 
John

ditto

OP, it's not fair that intellectual, so-expert doms like you single us submissives out every time with posts like these.

must be another moon phase happening




Kondolinni -> RE: Follow up to my post yesterday (10/30/2007 12:17:45 PM)

subtee,

Thank you for the post. I appreciate the simple fact that you read and gave effort to truly understanding what started all of this.

I never thought the responses were all that bad. However, reading all of the negative ones does cause a person to consider not only the thought processes behind them, but the lack of understanding of the possible consequences of maintaining a closed mind.




stef -> RE: Follow up to my post yesterday (10/30/2007 12:27:29 PM)

That's precious.

~stef




domiguy -> RE: Follow up to my post yesterday (10/30/2007 12:41:34 PM)

I'm personally glad that so many of the fucked-up inhabit this site of ours....was recently chatting up a sub that was recently released from jail....She was imprisoned for something to do with a murder....I thought it would be kind of cool if I could get involved with her to see if I might be able to prompt her to kill again....Cool shit, huh!!?

Some of you might want to sleep with one eye opened....Our relationship is starting to flourish....She will do my ill biddings.....Kill subbie!!! Kill!!!!




dcnovice -> RE: Follow up to my post yesterday (10/30/2007 6:39:02 PM)

quote:

I wonder if they will move this post....


They've been moving a lot of threads to Random Stupidity lately. As an RS regular, I find this quite annoying, since it makes the games harder to find.




ownedgirlie -> RE: Follow up to my post yesterday (10/30/2007 11:11:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kondolinni

ownedgirlie,

Nobody... not me, or any other respondant to this or the original thread, has suggested we dimiss or segregate anyone.

You are the sole exception.

Before you pontificate, I know. You did not mean to imply that YOU want to segregate... you are still the first to broach the subject.


Hi Kondolinni,

Taken from your OP here:

"I feel strongly that too many women  have joined the BDSM community as submissives for reasons that are not based on healthy perspectives."

I will simply ask, is this not segregating?

quote:


Why are you so angry? I am often taken aback by how unaware most people are of how what they say reveals what they think, or feel.


I'm not angry at all, actually.  Trust me, there are a lot of things in life I could be angry about right now, none of which have anything to do with threads on Collar Me :)

quote:


If you want to know how I feel about this issue, it is more than  spelled out in this and the original post. You still (thank god) have the right to disagree. Enjoy it. You may live to see it taken away.

It remains, although moved.  And I do enjoy that you and I both have the right to disagree.

quote:


What would you have? An antiseptic world where no-one is able to freely express their opinions or ideas? Don't you realize how important it is to tolerate ANY opinion? Do you (and others who have posted here a gazillion times) not realize that the free expression of ideas is the basis for almost every freedom we enjoy? Not to mention the more simple fact that having the same topic come up again and again is an indicator that the subject is important to A LOT of people?


Indeed I would not have an antiseptic world, as most of my posts on this site demonstrate.  But I am confused - I have the right to disagree, yet when I disagree I am intolerant of opinions? 

As for the same topic repeating itself meaning that it is important - yes, that is one possibility.  I guess that means it's really important to men that there are no fat chicks, either, since that's a thread that regularly appears as well.   It can also mean there's a really naive or ignorant view out there that is unfortunately and incorrectly considered as truth.  It could go either way, couldn't it?

quote:


The places you find hubris and intoleration is our society is amazing.


I agree.  Many of my beliefs are not the norm and therefore not readily tolerated.


quote:


In the past, people who felt that way were DIRECTLY responsible for every monster who has ever tried to own the world, or start a war, or steal a country, being able to subvert personal rights, and get away with their plans.

OK.

quote:


I'm done with this thread. But, I can't wait to see how you massacre the points I raise in this response owing to your limited understanding and stunted point of view. So, have at it. I'll check back later to give myself a good laugh.


I'm not sure if you're done as you said, or still reading as you said, but I hope you've enjoyed the reply from limited and stunted little me :)




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