|
stella41b -> RE: What's the point of a profile....? (10/30/2007 11:49:05 AM)
|
This community is full of a wide variety of people from just about every area of society and BDSM covers a very wide range of rituals and behaviours based on human interaction on an interpersonal and social, community level. Quite simply, anything goes.
The problem however is the Internet, this has changed how people interact with each other. The Internet is a very powerful tool of communication and resource information which has touched everyone's lives and has made life so much easier and simpler. I'm a TS female, and you cannot put a value on just how much the Internet for me has made my life much easier, simpler, and so much better.
But the Internet has a downside, it can very easily mislead you, deceive you, and create so many problems. It's changed the way people interact with each other, and I guess in many ways this has led to a new wave of social prejudice among the various minority groups in society.
Most people come into this website with the same mindset as they have when they walk into a supermarket or when they log onto e-Bay. They have needs, they have desires, and they're looking for someone who can fulfil those needs and desires. This also accounts for most people who have profiles on Collarme, it's all about THEIR needs and desires and who they are seeking to fulfil those desires. Only nobody is interested in getting to know anyone, in giving someone trust, a chance, like in the older pre-Internet days and developing a relationship properly.
Just like in the supermarket or on e-Bay they're looking for people who match their criteria, as are many of the people who have profiles. This is why everyone now needs an 'image', why everyone needs to be photoimage perfect and have the right stuff written in their profile, and what happens is you get a sort of a 'trade' situation, where people are setting up a trade of each other's needs, an exchange, and this to them is a relationship. Much of this is based on fantasy and illusion. This is why you get a lot of Master-slave or Mistress-slave couples who claim to be 24/7 M/s but really in reality they're just like any other couple and the M/s element happens at best at weekends or twice a month when they go off to a fetish club or event.
But hey, if that makes them happy, then so what? Whose business is it anyway for anyone to make a judgment about how someone chooses to live their life or conduct their relationships?
But this probably explains why there appears to be sixty or seventy different versions of the English language, and none of them appear to be compatible with each other.
I have a new profile, it's been up only a few weeks, it's already gone through several drafts, it's taken about 10 days of deep thinking, consideration, and also great consideration taken after initial correspondence with others and the advice of people in my life (yes, I am lifestyle which means my family, friends and everyone in my life know the complete me) I've modified and changed it.
But I'm still receiving messages from people in response to my profile, only there's no logical connection between what they're writing and what is written in my profile. It's like they've written a reply to a completely different profile but sent it to me. And then when you point this out to them they get all upset and nasty and start calling you a fake and a player. Oh okay. Whatever.
Then you get the people who have read your profile, you can see it, but they've completely misunderstood it, or twisted round your words to come up with a different interpretation which suits them. This is the time I genuinely wish I was fluent in Hungarian, because I feel like replying back to them in a language they can't twist round.
Then there are the wonderful people, and I mean these people are truly wonderful people, they make Collarme such a wonderful place to be, and it's quite a few male Doms, a considerable number of Dommes, and I guess submissives, and they make it worthwhile, because not only does their profile match the reality of who they really are, but they interpret your profile quite literally and they send you an appropriate message. And I guess if you go through all the threads of all the fora here and check the profiles of the posters you will probably quickly discover that there's an awful lot of these people around. This is my theory, my assumption, but I've yet to see any evidence against this.
But to others sadly this appears to be rocket science - write an honest profile, look for an honest profile, write an honest reply, be yourself who you really are, let the other person be the same, get to know them, and develop a relationship. This is the only way you get anywhere in this community. But still many people struggle with this very simple concept. I guess this is what makes it so interesting here.
These are just my thoughts.
|
|
|
|
