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Lies - 10/30/2007 7:32:55 PM

TakenPet

Posts: 147
Joined: 1/12/2007
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At what point would you consider a lie to be detrimental to a relationship, lets say the lie has nothing to do with the relationship itself, but there was a lie from Dom/me to sub. Just a hypothetical question?

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RE: Lies - 10/30/2007 7:50:22 PM

HopeLost

Posts: 80
Joined: 2/7/2007
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when you catch the Dom in it and he still cant own up to it. trys to make it look like your just forgetfull or crazy or fill in the blank.

(in reply to TakenPet)

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RE: Lies - 10/30/2007 8:01:14 PM

softpjOS

Posts: 398
Joined: 6/7/2005
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I can count on one hand, circumstances that would allow me to forgive someone for lying to me. I am dead set on honesty at all times and communicate this to anyone I am considering any type of relationship with, including friends.

I would say the lie became detrimental to the relationship at the moment it was uttered. Lying is a serious violation of trust. If you can't trust your Dom/me to be honest with you... how can you trust him/her with your life?

(in reply to TakenPet)

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RE: Lies - 10/30/2007 8:02:54 PM

Rushemery

Posts: 310
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quote:

ORIGINAL: softpjOS

I would say the lie became detrimental to the relationship at the moment it was uttered. Lying is a serious violation of trust. If you can't trust your Dom/me to be honest with you... how can you trust him/her with your life?

Well said

(in reply to softpjOS)

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RE: Lies - 10/30/2007 9:03:58 PM

TakenPet

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What if he doesn't know that I know that he is lying? What it was a fluke? What if the lie is centered around something not even remotely related to reality, its related to computer games?

(in reply to Rushemery)

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RE: Lies - 10/30/2007 9:18:14 PM

justheather

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TakenPet

What if he doesn't know that I know that he is lying? What it was a fluke? What if the lie is centered around something not even remotely related to reality, its related to computer games?

When a person lies about stupid things that are seemingly of no consequence, I question their integrity even more than if they are caught lying about "something big" because, IMO, lying about little things indicates that lying is a habit, as opposed to an aberrant behavior displayed under extreme or rare circumstances.

I mean, really, why lie about a video game?

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to TakenPet)

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RE: Lies - 10/30/2007 9:43:14 PM

westy2

Posts: 7
Joined: 8/21/2007
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A lie..........is a lie.......is a lie............

'nuff said

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**there's a smile when the pain comes**

(in reply to justheather)

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RE: Lies - 10/30/2007 9:47:06 PM

mya75

Posts: 300
Joined: 10/14/2007
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Well I could relate I guess to this I met a Dom in a game and we took it to "real life"being we lived close to eachother and then come to find out he wanted to compare me to a pixel person in an online game..."somone he hadnt even met yet" soooo to make a long story short I walked away and let him be with his pixel ...considering he didnt tell me about her from the beginning......so if your story is remotely similar and if the online game is a virtual world...where people mix reality and pixel space....I suggest you take the lie seriously *LOL I hope your not her ROFL I read your profile and she is from up North as well*

< Message edited by mya75 -- 10/30/2007 9:48:35 PM >

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~**Mya Papaya**~

"A fool learns from his own mistakes, a wise person learns from the mistakes of others."

(in reply to justheather)

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RE: Lies - 10/30/2007 10:09:47 PM

krikket

Posts: 1183
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From: Washington, DC Metro Area
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Adding my "ditto" to the rest...

i can forgive almost anything but a lie, or actions based on a lie or even a half truth.

But..that's just me...

jimini

quote:

ORIGINAL: westy2

A lie..........is a lie.......is a lie............

'nuff said

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"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin

When your heart speaks take good notes.

(in reply to westy2)

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RE: Lies - 10/31/2007 2:52:21 AM

eyesopened

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From: Tampa, FL
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When people find it easy to be dishonest in the little things, it's not a big leap for them to be dishonest in the big things.

That being said, how many of us have never fibbed, fabricated, embellished, or diminished the truth even a little? Can we ever be trusted if we have?

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Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

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(in reply to TakenPet)

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RE: Lies - 10/31/2007 5:00:02 AM

wintersbreath

Posts: 23
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TakenPet

At what point would you consider a lie to be detrimental to a relationship, lets say the lie has nothing to do with the relationship itself, but there was a lie from Dom/me to sub. Just a hypothetical question?

It would depend on the lie and the reason for telling it.

(in reply to TakenPet)

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RE: Lies - 10/31/2007 5:06:07 AM

wisteriaV

Posts: 438
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Lies need other lies to cover them up until a snowball effect happens. If you ask me my view, I will be blunt and to the point and tell you my truth on it. If you ask me if the shirt looks good on you and it looks like a something your cat hairballed up , I would tell you. IF someone gets away with a simple so called harmless white lie then they will think they can get away with bigger ones.

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Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

(in reply to wintersbreath)

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RE: Lies - 10/31/2007 5:45:06 PM

softpjOS

Posts: 398
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quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

That being said, how many of us have never fibbed, fabricated, embellished, or diminished the truth even a little? Can we ever be trusted if we have?

*raises hand* yup.... busted.. i've fibbed but your honor..let me explain!!!

See, mom wanted to go see elvis on ice. Umm can we say hard limit? She persisted and I finally said umm I can't I'm busy. Now, mind you, I told her over and over that I'd rather poke out my eyes with a poker then go, but she persisted so I came up with an excuse NOT to go... aka... I fabricated a reason/fibbed through my teeth/ok.. I lied. lol. But..elvis on ice??? OMG. Did she figure it out? Heck yes, she knew all along that I could get free but did she stop trusting me? Nope, she just came up with worse things to drag me to LOL.

For me, the fine line is drawn with the INTENT behind the fib/lie/fabrication/omission. Was it meant to spare someone's feeling? or for my own personal gain/satisfaction?

In the case of elvis, yes.. it was for me but!! I had already said nooooooooo please nooooooooo and she persisted. Had I put my foot down and said HELL NO, it would of only hurt her feelings. She knew how I felt about it, and yet she persisted. So instead of a long drawn out battle, I said I couldn't instead of wouldn't.

And as far as "a lie is a lie is a lie"....sometimes just just can't blurt out the ugly truth. I mean.. yes, I could say to my friend that spent all day making a special meal that it was the grossest thing I've ever eaten but..what purpose does that serve? Smile, say thank you.. I enjoyed it to save her feelings and the friendship. If asked if I want the recipe...no thanks, don't think I'd want to have it too often...wouldn't be as special then. lol. Now, if a friend asks me if something looks good on her... I'll try to be nice as I say.. umm you have other outfits that are more flattering and if they don't take that hint... umm look....I didn't want to say this but... WTF are you thinking???

So, since I admit to fibbing about going to see elvis... can i be trusted? That's entirely up to whom ever is considering me as a friend. Will I ADMIT to my fibs? You betcha.

But, when asked right out if I did/didnt do something..... I'll own it. Admit freely to the offense. Which drives my Mistress absolutely bananas when She's trying to figure out a punishement

for Her brutally honest slave. LOL!!

The defense rests your honor :P

(in reply to eyesopened)

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RE: Lies - 10/31/2007 6:06:16 PM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
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i dont lie to Daddy, its just not a good idea.

ok, i lie about one thing exactly. and he knows it. it is then up to him if he wants to pursue it ("how is my little one?" fine, Daddy. "i know better. how are you? now.") and i will answer. i will absolutely lie about the state of my health and he knows it.

but that's the only thing i lie about to him. and i trust him to tell me the truth about anything i ask him, too.

kitten

(in reply to softpjOS)

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RE: Lies - 10/31/2007 6:20:09 PM

Mercurialdame

Posts: 66
Joined: 9/10/2007
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We all tell white lies.
But something about his 'hypothetical' but now a computer game lie has pushed up a flag for you. Either listen to your inner wisdom, or dont.
You have your own personal limitations on what you will and will not accept as adult behaviour from a person in your life. Lying is clearly on the cards of 'possibly'. If you feel so sure of everything else, that this doesnt bother you, enjoy.

(in reply to adoracat)

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RE: Lies - 10/31/2007 6:29:20 PM

Squeakers

Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
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   Question:   "Why did you lie to me?"
   Answer:   "Because I loved you and felt that knowing the truth would hurt you more than my lie."

It took me a very long time to see the actual sincerity in this answer.   I asked the question, and the answer was responded to my first Master, quite sometime after we'd parted.   It was the sincerity in his eyes that actually convinced me that he was speaking the truth.    I've reflected on this quite often over the years, and he was completely right, the truth at that time would have hurt me way more than the lie.   So sometimes, we need to see the reason behind the lie, to find the sincereness in the person.

(in reply to TakenPet)

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