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What's your stance on "bratty" subs? - 10/30/2007 8:40:58 PM   
sodsta


Posts: 246
Joined: 7/19/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline 		Something I've been wondering for a while is how most Dominants feel about subs that can sometimes be a little "bratty". I put "bratty" in quotation marks, simply because the definition of "brat" tends to differ from person to person, so it's all pretty relative, really.

A Domme messaged me a while ago, commending me for not being afraid to be a brat (apparently my profile fit with her definition of what a "brat" is - personally I wouldn't define myself as such, but anyway...). I'm not quoting verbatim here, obviously, but the message consisted roughly of: "It's very refreshing to see a sub who isn't afraid to be a brat. So many people get turned off entering into the world of kink and submission because they don't fit into the stereotype of what a submissive is meant to be."

This made me wonder exactly where most Dominants would stand on that issue.

Do you enjoy a sub that can be bratty on occasion? Or is that generally a big no-no?

Thanks for any help. :)
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RE: What's your stance on "bratty" subs? - 10/30/2007 9:06:03 PM   
CollegeConundrum


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline 		I've been labeled a "brat", before, and I detest labels.  I am who I am; either you like me or you don't.

Brat is usually just a label for some women, when a guy won't play doormat for her, even though she insists she wants a "man who can think for himself and be himself and not be a doormat"

Typical female bullshit.

(in reply to sodsta)
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RE: What's your stance on "bratty" subs? - 10/30/2007 9:06:41 PM   
Jamiesdesire


Posts: 1
Joined: 11/19/2006
Status: offline 		I like a bit of cheek and brattiness in a sub. A completely passive sub is no fun at all. There will always be times when I'm not in the mood for cheeky brat, but that's something you work out.

Each Dom/me has their own likes and dislikes, expectations and needs, as do subs, and each must be afforded the same respect, no matter what their preferences are. The trick is to find a good Dom/me or sub that suits your needs. And that is not always easy. I know myself I have certain things I like and expect from a sub that go against what have seemed to me to be general standards of behaviour in a sub. Thats MY preference and may not be anyone else's.

You just stay being the cheeky brat you are or I'll come over there and kick your arse for you. Except that you'd like that.

JD



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RE: What's your stance on "bratty" subs? - 10/30/2007 9:11:59 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		Well, if She's wearing six inch stilletos, Her stance definitely makes a point.

chia* (the pet)

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RE: What's your stance on "bratty" subs? - 10/30/2007 10:00:26 PM   
FullfigRIMaam


Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline 		I think it's cute if I'm in the mood to put down a mean spanking.
Otherwise, he'd better cut it out because I don't like passive aggressive domination which is kind of what I feel brattiness is when it is there all of the time.    M

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RE: What's your stance on "bratty" subs? - 10/30/2007 10:13:11 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		It depends on the definition. I enjoy someone who can cut up and make me laugh. I don't enjoy someone who challenges my authority, especially when they're the one who gave me the authority in the first place.

Master Fire


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RE: What's your stance on "bratty" subs? - 10/30/2007 10:15:20 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Oh, and you're profile doesn't sound bratty to me at all. She must have a vary narrow definition of a brat!

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Ms Relationship Books
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RE: What's your stance on "bratty" subs? - 10/30/2007 10:30:40 PM   
sickofsafe


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/30/2007
Status: offline 		Complaints against bratty subs make me laugh- If a Dominant is going to own a slave or sub and cant find a way to cut out the brattieness when it doesnt amuse them, then they arn't very good. Atleast not for me.

(Just saw on the peekaboo scroll down list thingy while reading a page...had to comment)

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RE: What's your stance on "bratty" subs? - 10/30/2007 10:31:15 PM   
RosesHaveThorns


Posts: 312
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		I think that the last paragraph(Not the last sentence, the chunk above it) is what made the person who messaged the OP think that he was a willful slave. And considering that he is saying that he is not a complete doormat in the bedroom while others here are talking of breaking and remaking slaves, it is somewhat of a contrast.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
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RE: What's your stance on "bratty" subs? - 10/30/2007 11:00:04 PM   
HottLicks


Posts: 174
Joined: 9/21/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CollegeConundrum

I've been labeled a "brat", before, and I detest labels.  I am who I am; either you like me or you don't.

Brat is usually just a label for some women, when a guy won't play doormat for her, even though she insists she wants a "man who can think for himself and be himself and not be a doormat"

Typical female bullshit.



Wow, for a guy that doesn't like labels... you sure pass them out pretty readily.  lol

Could this be filed in 'typical angry male bullshit'?

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RE: What's your stance on "bratty" subs? - 10/30/2007 11:09:04 PM   
CollegeConundrum


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HottLicks
Could this be filed in 'typical angry male bullshit'?


Typical female bullshit isn't a label....










it's a category.


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RE: What's your stance on "bratty" subs? - 10/30/2007 11:09:29 PM   
HottLicks


Posts: 174
Joined: 9/21/2007
Status: offline 		There are different kinds of brat to me.  One I love and have lots of laughs with and one I won't tolerate much of.  The only doormat I want is one I stomp my muddy feet on outside my door and my doormats don't breath.  You know, they are little rubber mat types of things. Quick wit is something I love!  Something else I love is a brat that knows when not to cross a brat line into manipulation of the wrong kind and keeps me laughing with the right kind... humorus.

(in reply to HottLicks)
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RE: What's your stance on "bratty" subs? - 10/30/2007 11:12:47 PM   
HottLicks


Posts: 174
Joined: 9/21/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CollegeConundrum

quote:

ORIGINAL: HottLicks
Could this be filed in 'typical angry male bullshit'?


Typical female bullshit isn't a label....










it's a category.




How did I know you would go there? lol... not a problem.  lol Category... label... whatever... fact remains a fact to me... you tossed it out there, I responded.  I won't again... I've better things to argue about. lol  They are close enough in this situation, for me at least. 

(in reply to CollegeConundrum)
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RE: What's your stance on "bratty" subs? - 10/31/2007 3:11:35 AM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		There's brats and there's brats

Is it playful cheekiness?  Or nastiness masked as humour?

In my younger years I was very attracted to "bad boys" and so bratty subs seemed a fun challenge and good for laughs.  None of them lasted.

10 years later, I loathe bratty subs.  Give me a courteous, quiet, thoughtful gentleman over a silly smart-ass any day

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RE: What's your stance on "bratty" subs? - 10/31/2007 3:26:13 AM   
Smythe


Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline
I don't really believe in brats except maybe as a bit of a game.
It's just a lack of mutual agreement.
Smythe


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RE: What's your stance on "bratty" subs? - 10/31/2007 3:34:11 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		I have no interest in smartarses. If I wanted that, I'd live with a group of teenagers.

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RE: What's your stance on "bratty" subs? - 10/31/2007 3:40:55 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline 		The problem is that most brats don't know when they've crossed the line to being disrespectful ~ it's the "hey I think it's funny no matter how insulting it is so everyone else needs to lighten up" mentality.  No thanks.

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RE: What's your stance on "bratty" subs? - 10/31/2007 5:08:35 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

It depends on the definition. I enjoy someone who can cut up and make me laugh. I don't enjoy someone who challenges my authority, especially when they're the one who gave me the authority in the first place.

Master Fire


Agreed Master Fire. My current sub makes me laugh with his antics, but I've made it perfectly clear to him if he challenges my authority, that he will not be a happy camper. When we enter into these relationships we understand that there will be some give and take on both sides, when one person demands everything "my way or the highway" someone will get road rash on their ass.

~Lashra


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RE: What's your stance on "bratty" subs? - 10/31/2007 5:11:34 AM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		Personally, I won't bother with them.  I don't bother with "brats" in the vanilla side of my life.

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RE: What's your stance on "bratty" subs? - 10/31/2007 5:45:09 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Fox is not a brat by my definition -- which is that the person in question is acting up to get a response from another, especially in a BDSM sense to trigger a kink response.

However he does speak his mind, using particular terms and phrasing, and he is not afraid to speak up around others. If others think that makes him a "brat" or "not submissive" that's fine cause they don't own him, I do.

It has, however, hurt his feelings if others point out how outgoing and assertive he can be. I then firmly reground him by reminding him that he serves me not them and by encouraging him to continue as he is.

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