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Age a turn off? - 10/31/2007 10:41:03 AM   
joanus


Posts: 527
Joined: 2/28/2007
Status: offline 		Ok this is going to be a little confusing but...
I'm 20 years old (21 on the Nov 11) but when I shave I look as Young as 12. How does that affect a Misstress? Is it taboo? Does the slight child like look turn them off? Could it be the reason I've been Dommeless for the last few years?
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RE: Age a turn off? - 10/31/2007 11:53:26 AM   
CollegeConundrum


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline 		I doubt it's a turnoff and I doubt it has to do with looking "child-like" either.  Never understood why age is an issue.  People must think maturity is an individual concept but "their" individual concept of maturity, is just ignorance.

I've met some damn cool people over 40 and some damn cool people under 20.  A lot of people seriously limit themselves to the fantastic people they might meet when they say "No one under 35" or "No one over 30"  Their loss.

(in reply to joanus)
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RE: Age a turn off? - 10/31/2007 12:05:55 PM   
MsIncontrol


Posts: 261
Joined: 10/3/2007
Status: offline 		I personally find you quite adorable.  But as I have said in other post, I like the young and nubile.  I like to mold submissives to learn to serve me...not have the years and years of training of how to please someone else...that I have to re-program. 

However, there are some practical matters that would prevent someone like me, seeking someone your age.  First, many of the events we attend require all participants to be at least 21...which won't be a problem in the near future for you. 

Also, as a Domme I would be concerned that I couldn't provide you the lifestyle you deserve.  Someone to enjoy those young years with...I've been there...done it....20 years ago! 

Furthermore, we are just at different places in our lives.  I can't tell you the number of younger guys (even when I was a younger girl) who flip flop on the lifestyle.  Knowing what you like...understanding your submissiveness and accepting yourself for who you are often times takes time. 

With all that said...look into other factors that may be holding you back.  Your location isn't exactly a thriving metropolis.  What are you looking for specifically?  Where I live, we have a group especially for younger BDSM'ers as well as fetish style events held at large nightclubs that attract a lot of the younger crowds.  Maybe you can look into these types of events...being around other like minded people in real-time is usually much more successful than being on-line.

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(in reply to joanus)
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RE: Age a turn off? - 10/31/2007 12:43:02 PM   
aidan


Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline 		Duder, you're asking a very broad question. The simple answer is, some like it, some don't. What's important right now is, do you like it?

When you stop worrying about whether or not other people dig your look, and just start being comfortable in your own skin (so to speak), then you'll have an easier time of things. You can't be all things to all people, and you'll be miserable trying. Better to be what makes you comfortable, and then people will respond from there. Some will dig it, and that's good. Some won't, and that's cool too. Everyone, like you, is entitled to their prefrences. Most likely, people will respond positvely to your confidence.


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RE: Age a turn off? - 10/31/2007 1:05:48 PM   
rubberpet


Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline 		Your look probably reflects your personality.  I have the same problem as you, joanus.  I shave and I look 12, but I prefer to keep the facial hair as it makes me look older and it gives me more confidence and a "bad boy" edge.  All dommes are different.  Some like a young, boyish look, while others prefer a "manly" look.  It's just their preference.  Just find the look you are comfortable with and go with it.  The right domme will find whatever look you portray appealing.  As for you being "dommeless" for the last few years, it doesn't have anything with your look.  The right domme simply hasn't crossed your path yet.  She's out there.  You just have to keep looking.  When you find the right one, all the pain, heartache, and aggrivation will be more than worth it!  Be friendly, polite, respectful, and most of all...be yourself!

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.


(in reply to aidan)
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RE: Age a turn off? - 10/31/2007 1:38:09 PM   
RosesHaveThorns


Posts: 312
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		I'm one of those people who wants someone in their age range, perferably older (too much younger, and it's illegal, anyway) but within 3-5 years of my own age. As far as I am concerned, I think that I will connect better with someone my own age, and it is who I am attracted to. You can't change who is attracted to, and why bother? Be yourself, and you'll either be liked for it or not. But the alternative is being liked for who you are not.

And my relationship is my business until I hurt someone, so I don't care what people think of me for my age perference. I enjoy talking to older and younger people as much as I do as those my age.

(And rubberpet, you forgot those who like manly men with boyish good looks)

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RE: Age a turn off? - 10/31/2007 1:53:02 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		To me, OP (and Aidan, too!) you're a lovely boy.  I could be your mom, and while I am not, when I am with young men your age, I revert to Auntieness and don't see you as a good match for me except as a non-sexual pet.  This doesn't mean you aren't a great guy, it's just me, and my *lifelong* preference for male partners who are 10-15 years older than myself.

I have a friend who LOVES young men that she can make into whatever pleases her, since they're so energetic and impressionable. :)   Just be yourself (as long as yourself isn't a flaming asshole, of course) and get out into the world and meet people.  Even if you meet a bunch of women who don't want you for themselves, a good impression makes a big difference.  Dom women talk about the potential sub males they meet, and share the good and bad.  Just like in a job setting, you never know who you might be talking to next!

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RE: Age a turn off? - 10/31/2007 2:04:30 PM   
rubberpet


Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline 		Roses, I completely forgot the manly men with boyish looks.  It's weird, I'm typically attracted to dommes older than me (I'll be 30 in February), but the domme that has stolen my heart and claimed my submission is almost seven years younger than me.  She has a mix of a cute, naughty librarian and an evil, gothic vampire goddess that simply sends my libido into overdrive!  To each, their own....

In fact, She even made the comment that She didn't think I could pull off the "bad boy" look.  But the main pic of my profile seems to be Her fave.  What do you think? 

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.


(in reply to RosesHaveThorns)
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RE: Age a turn off? - 10/31/2007 2:36:25 PM   
BossySSBBW


Posts: 132
Joined: 5/18/2006
Status: offline 		Your age, nor your looks turn me off.  Unfortunately the fact that you might not fully understand the aging process, the things that sag, bag and otherwise breakdown with age.  If you understand those things and could give me a full explanation of your understanding of the aging process and the considerations that must be implemented then perhaps I would be more inclined to want a much younger man. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: joanus

Ok this is going to be a little confusing but...
I'm 20 years old (21 on the Nov 11) but when I shave I look as Young as 12. How does that affect a Misstress? Is it taboo? Does the slight child like look turn them off? Could it be the reason I've been Dommeless for the last few years?


< Message edited by BossySSBBW -- 10/31/2007 2:42:25 PM >

(in reply to joanus)
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RE: Age a turn off? - 10/31/2007 3:06:58 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		It's not so much of an appearance issue it is one of relate-ability.  I tend to stay in my own age range.  I find with the  younger ones (early 20-30).. It's all "teach me about this".. I've been there and done that and now I just prefer to have someone who knows the same sort of history we have experienced.  Also.. the sex drive is more under control.
 
Older women are easier to leave for a young guy who is just starting out experiencing the smörgåsbord of this.  If there is going to be no future with him aside from her bing a warm memory, then what's the use?
 
KNOWING about something is different than experiencing it first hand.  Sharing what I know about the "good old days" is useless with the "it's all good" mantra they hear.  Some things you need to experience on your own.  Learn it in the gutter like the rest of us did.  Take your lumps, pay your dues.  You learn more and it sticks better. 
 
That's just my opinion.

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 10/31/2007 3:15:36 PM >

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RE: Age a turn off? - 10/31/2007 3:36:07 PM   
rubberpet


Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline 		Well, Ms. Lotus, not all 20-30 year olds are all about being taught.  I'm only 29 and I have almost 12 years experience and was collared for almost 5 years.  I have learned quite a bit in my time, but even someone with 30 or 40 years experience can learn something new.  In my current relationship, I'll be teaching Mistress new and exciting things just like She'll teach me new things...and She's only 22.  No matter the age, it's a constant learning experience.  Also, why learn things in the gutter?  Exactly what does that mean to you?

I agree with you on one thing, though.  Being able to relate to someone on the same age level is very important.  My first owner was 17 years older than me.  We had great chemistry and an amazing friendship, but we were at different stages in life.  It was enough to eventually end the relationship.

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.


(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: Age a turn off? - 10/31/2007 3:41:26 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		For me, the younger looking boys are a turn ON. My boys are always in the 20-24 year old range.
For some, the look is a benefit, for others it is a detriment.  Are you looking for Dominants who are much older than you, in which case the age and looking way too much younger might be a problem? I can see someone not wanting a sub that could be her own biological child, but beyond that...

In short no.  I dont think that sould be too much of an issue.  There area lways those of us out there that like that, to balance out those that dont.

DV


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VampiresLair

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RE: Age a turn off? - 10/31/2007 4:30:38 PM   
MistressRouge


Posts: 876
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Birmingham West Midlands UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: joanus

Ok this is going to be a little confusing but...
I'm 20 years old (21 on the Nov 11) but when I shave I look as Young as 12. How does that affect a Misstress? Is it taboo? Does the slight child like look turn them off? Could it be the reason I've been Dommeless for the last few years?


My youngest sub is 18 yrs old, nearly 19 soon, and he facially looks the age of 13 yrs old.

It does not bother Me one iota

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(in reply to joanus)
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RE: Age a turn off? - 10/31/2007 5:24:26 PM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		My pet is 23....the only time I sense a difference in age is when he's gaming (and thats only because he's in the same room with my teen UM)

Its not really the age that matters (as long as one is legal) it is more the attitude and the dynamic (and how one looks chained to a wall -WEG-)

Then again, I have friends that run the same large span of ages, from 18 - 50, it all depends on what we have in common.

Psy  -aka Lady Jag

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RE: Age a turn off? - 10/31/2007 5:54:43 PM   
MsPleasure


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline 		Your age would be an issue, I prefer late 30's and up. 

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RE: Age a turn off? - 10/31/2007 7:46:22 PM   
LaMistressa


Posts: 460
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline 		In general I like younger submissives - I think it's just a matter of finding the right person for you. And you have chest hair, that's more manly than boyish, so show that off. 

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RE: Age a turn off? - 10/31/2007 8:31:35 PM   
CollegeConundrum


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressRouge
My youngest sub is 18 yrs old, nearly 19 soon, and he facially looks the age of 13 yrs old.

It does not bother Me one iota


If only I could be British.

I doubt I could pull it off....

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RE: Age a turn off? - 10/31/2007 8:51:08 PM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		There are lots of reasons why we might not apeal to someone ... gender, weight, looks, disability, marital status, location, experience level, fetishes, weird personality traits ... and age.  I think you are focused on age because you are a statistical outlier.  (pardon the geek speak)  Some people will be thrilled with the age that you are, and you only need to find one person who feels that way.

For myself, there is a certain age group that I feel most comfortable with.  This is, in part, because I am looking for more than play.  In terms of life goals, I don't think I have a lot in common with a 20 year old.  And as LotusSong said, I realize that I would probably be an experiment for a man that young -- that's not a draw for me.

MSS

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RE: Age a turn off? - 10/31/2007 10:52:00 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		I'm guessing it's more how you present yourself than your looks. Believe me, some of us have no problem with younger men. But, while I can appreciate your attempts as humor and your desire to find 'real' people, your profile is rather over the top on both of those points. I only read about half of it. All of us who are looking for relationships, not just flings or money, assume that serious people are, too. So, you really don't have to go on about that. And, as for the 'go fornicate yourself' stuff, I can understand your frustration here, but how we treat those that offend us is often a clue to our character. You're not showing yours in a very positive light.

You have a lot of positive attributes. You're witty. You're intelligent. You have a serious side. You're sincere. Accentuation these in your profile and I think you'll have better luck. Also, include what kind of relationship you're looking for; a play partner, a full time relationship, what? AND, include what that means...is it kinky sex, is it SM, is it non-sexual service or a combination. What do you have to offer and what do you expect.

Consider taking some new photos. You've got the right idea about just vanilla head shots. I think you'd have a good chance if you redid your profile a bit.

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RE: Age a turn off? - 11/1/2007 10:40:09 AM   
Goddess20


Posts: 73
Joined: 7/12/2007
From: Birmingham, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: joanus

Ok this is going to be a little confusing but...
I'm 20 years old (21 on the Nov 11) but when I shave I look as Young as 12. How does that affect a Misstress? Is it taboo? Does the slight child like look turn them off? Could it be the reason I've been Dommeless for the last few years?


Being a Domme its great for me!

men love the being dominated by a younger woman, they tend to find it even more humiliating and suprising.

I don't see why it would be a problem for you, and from your picture you don't look 12, you actually look older than 20.

(in reply to joanus)
Profile   Post #: 20
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