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Establishing Protocols, Rules - 8/3/2005 9:38:25 AM   
iamdownonmyknees


Posts: 93
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Durham NC USA
Status: offline 		In an effort to enrich an deepen our relationship my girlfriend/Goddess is establishing a series of protocols for me to follow when I'm collared (as opposed to more informal play). She's posted it at

http://www.sensualsadist.com/archives/rules_and_punishments/the_beginning_of_protocol.php

While we don't want to make things so complicated that our time together gets too complicated we are each wondering what rules other couples have used to take each person more deeply into their respective roles (we're relatives novices).

Thanks,
Richard


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RE: Establishing Protocols, Rules - 8/3/2005 6:35:29 PM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		Thats pretty intense rules.

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RE: Establishing Protocols, Rules - 8/3/2005 11:20:48 PM   
GentleLady


Posts: 356
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline 		Each couple is going to be different and have different needs. If the rules or protocols work for the two of you then use them.

Gentle Lady

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RE: Establishing Protocols, Rules - 8/4/2005 12:56:10 AM   
KarbonCopy


Posts: 779
Status: offline 		At least there arnt't too many rules loll, you wont get confused.

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RE: Establishing Protocols, Rules - 8/4/2005 5:45:33 AM   
iamdownonmyknees


Posts: 93
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Durham NC USA
Status: offline 		We wouldn't do anything that doesn't match our personalities or aesthetics.

We were just curious to see what other folks have done. Partly to see if there were other rules we might use for an extra touch of spice.

Thanks,
Richard

quote:

ORIGINAL: GentleLady

Each couple is going to be different and have different needs. If the rules or protocols work for the two of you then use them.




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RE: Establishing Protocols, Rules - 8/5/2005 1:42:03 PM   
SadisticPrincess


Posts: 87
Joined: 7/4/2005
Status: offline 		Having a set of behaviors to follow is a great way of setting the scene, and getting into slave mindset. As a dominant, I find that the more rules there are, the more rules I have to enforce. This can lead to trouble down the road, if I have missed correcting some kind of misbehavior--oh no, BAD DOMME! Or is it bad slave? You see what I mean, I hope.

Enjoy your play, it looks like you have given it a lot of thought! :)

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RE: Establishing Protocols, Rules - 8/5/2005 1:58:41 PM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		Whit me and my Dom the rules we are working on is rather simple. i am alowed to speak normaly, i can adress him by his name if he dont require otherwise, he dictates my economics, i am to be respectful and obey his comand. Every morning i will kiss his feet and stand againt the wall for ten whip strokes to remind me of my place, i also kiss his feet and are given a few strokes before bed, simple things like that.

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RE: Establishing Protocols, Rules - 8/7/2005 3:55:53 AM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

Thats pretty intense rules.


Sigh - You can always tell the novices when they think fairly normal protocol is intense.

quote:

to follow when I'm collared (as opposed to more informal play).


By this do you mean when your collar is placed on your neck in scene? Or do you mean this will be behaviour at all times once you've been "collared".

A hint to both of you. Always start with a small number of rules. Once those become second nature, you can add more rules into the mix. Also, don't set rules that are going to become a chore for the Domme to oversee.

My husband and I don't have any "set" protocols. When we are at a party, he kneels by my feet or beside me when I sit. I didn't have to make it a rule. I expressed it as a preference by guiding him to the position once early in our relationship while we were standing at a party waiting for a crowd to clear. Since then, he has adopted that pose whenever it is appropriate at a party. If I'm still in the moving around and seeing who is there phase, he stands "at attention" about two feet away, alert for my wish for anything. If there was anything I'd add to your Domme's list of protocols, it would be something to do with attentiveness and awareness of her.

I did have a "ritual" with a prior sub that I enjoyed quite a bit. *smiles* Any time he picked me up, he had a Starbucks caramel Frap waiting for me. I didn't have to make that one a rule either. The sub knew I loved them, and did it out of thoughtfulness.

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RE: Establishing Protocols, Rules - 8/7/2005 6:10:43 AM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: iamdownonmyknees
While we don't want to make things so complicated that our time together gets too complicated we are each wondering what rules other couples have used to take each person more deeply into their respective roles (we're relatives novices).


This is a draft of the rules that are enforced at our house:

http://www.taggard.net/HouseRules.doc

It is by no means complete, but it is a start...

Taggard

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RE: Establishing Protocols, Rules - 8/7/2005 7:16:50 AM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		The rules are nice Taggard for a training house, but would be a bit intense for a 27/7 all years around i think, but mayby, that is just me. One thing i did react to, the watching TV while kneeling, i dont know if you have done mutch kneeling over long periods of time, but it gets rather painful rather quikly unless one have werry, werry mutch training in it, sitting on the floor, fine, but i think you will have a problem whit them kneeling for so long.

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RE: Establishing Protocols, Rules - 8/9/2005 7:31:56 AM   
iamdownonmyknees


Posts: 93
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Durham NC USA
Status: offline
quote:

By this do you mean when your collar is placed on your neck in scene?


Sorry, not being in a lifestyle relationship I forget the multiple meanings. Just during a scene.

quote:

Always start with a small number of rules.


I very much agree. I have a fear of having too many rules and the effect being so artificial that it seems comical.

quote:

don't set rules that are going to become a chore for the Domme to oversee.


Don't think that will be a problem. When she expressed a desire for formal reinforcement I told her various things I'd heard of and she picked what she liked. D/s aside if she doesn't get a kick out of something erotic neither will I.

If the protcols seem false we'll change or abandon them.

Mostly she wanted to see if they enhanced her pleasure. I'm sure they will mine (we've only had one scene since adopting them).

And she wanted excuses to punish me. I'm very masochistic but I think being punished instead of simply beating will increase my own joy.

Many thanks,
Richard

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RE: Establishing Protocols, Rules - 8/9/2005 7:34:32 AM   
iamdownonmyknees


Posts: 93
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Durham NC USA
Status: offline
quote:

if I have missed correcting some kind of misbehavior--oh no, BAD DOMME!


Nah, I love her far too much to indulge in that.

quote:

Enjoy your play


Thanks,
Richard
(Who isn't getting email notifications for some reason.)

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