Mercnbeth
Posts: 11766
Status: offline
|
1. One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
And they say blondes are dumb.
_______________________
2. A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world".
The woman says, "I'll miss you."
_______________________
3 "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
_______________________
4. He said, "Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make love to you really badly."
She said, "Well, you succeeded."
______________________
5. He said, "Shall we try swapping positions tonight?"
She said, "That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."
_______________________
6. He said, "What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
" She said, "Turn sideways and look in the mirror."
______________________
7. Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
_______________________
8. A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a very special wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger.
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
__________________
9. A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST:
* She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
* Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
* Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
* Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
* And her husband is on the back of the milk carton
_______________________
10. A WOMAN'S PRAYER....
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN
|
More Male Bashing! - 
Profile
RE: More Male Bashing! - 
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread