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MsCfromMelbourne -> RE: Hierarchy in households (11/1/2007 4:44:37 AM)
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Of the few "poly" households I know, if two members of the household are married or otherwise in a really LTR, the newer additions are supposed to be more "dispensible" if the whole idea is not working out.
That is the theory, but I have seen new subs successfully break up old marriages. Subs compete for favour and heirachies are dynamic. "Alpha" subs can lose their spot in the pecking order to the newer household member (of either gender).
In the past I had two male submissives at once and replaced the primary partner with the newer submissive after a few months (twice actually). Of course the outgoing subs hated the situation and - with the benefit of hindsight - it was unneccessarily cruel on my part.
I have also had a male and female at the same time, but they fought like cat and dog for alpha sub status. The male was my primary partner, so the girl just had to go. Of course she was infuriated (even though she was the most recent addition to the house!)
The thing is, everyone swore "poly" was what they wanted at the time. Go figure.
Nowdays, I prefer serial monogamy to avoid those sorts of emotionally untidy situations.
PS sorry I didnt address your gender question. In theory, the gender should not matter. In practice, I prefer male primary partners so the female always got the flick if things weren't working out. I cannot speak for other Dommes of course - they may prefer female primary partners or feel ambivalent about gender altogether
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