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ModeratorOne -> RE: Favorite Monty Python Skit/Line (8/7/2005 3:44:49 PM)
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WAITER:
Good evening! Uhh, would you care for something to... talk about?
MR. HENDY:
Oh, that would be wonderful.
WAITER:
Our special tonight is minorities!
MR. HENDY:
Ohh, that sounds real interesting.
MRS. HENDY:
Um, what's this conversation here?
WAITER:
Uh, that's, uh, 'football'. There you can talk about the Steelers-Bears game this Saturday, or you could, uh, reminisce about really great World Series.
MRS. HENDY:
No, no, no, no.
MR. HENDY:
What is this one here?
WAITER:
Uhh, that's 'philosophy'.
MRS. HENDY:
Is that a sport?
WAITER:
Aah, no, it's more of an attempt to, uh, construct a viable hypothesis to, uh, explain the meaning of life.
FISH #3:
What was that?
FISH #5:
What's he say?
FISH #4:
What was that?!
FISH #2:
Shush.
FISH #5:
Eh?
MR. HENDY:
Oh, that sounds wonderful. Would you like to talk about the meaning of life, darling?
MRS. HENDY:
Sure. Why not?
WAITER:
Philosophy for two?
MR. HENDY:
Right.
WAITER:
Room?
MR. HENDY:
Two-five-nine.
WAITER:
Two-five-nine.
MR. HENDY:
Yup. Uhh,-- uh, h-- how do we--
WAITER:
Oh, uhh, you folks want me to start you off?
MR. HENDY:
Oh, really, we'd appreciate that.
WAITER:
Okay!
MR. HENDY:
Yeah.
WAITER:
Well, ehh,...
MR. HENDY:
Mhmm.
WAITER:
...look. Have you ever wondered... just why you're here?
MR. HENDY:
Well, we went to Miami last year and California the year before that, and we've--
WAITER:
No, no, no. I mean, uh, w-- why we're here... on this planet.
MR. HENDY:
Hmmm. No.
WAITER:
Right! Aaah, you ever wanted to know what it's all about?
MR. HENDY:
Nope.
MRS. HENDY:
No. No.
WAITER:
Right-o! Aah, well, uh, see, throughout history,...
MR. HENDY:
M-hmm.
WAITER:
...there have been certain men and women who have tried to find the solution to the mysteries of existence,...
MRS. HENDY:
G-reat.
WAITER:
...and we call these guys 'philosophers'!
MR. HENDY:
Ohh.
MRS. HENDY:
And that's what we're talking about.
WAITER:
Right!
MR. HENDY:
Yeah.
MRS. HENDY:
Ohh, that's neat!
WAITER:
Well, you look like you're getting the idea, so why don't I give you these, uh, conversation cards? They'll tell you a little about philosophical method,...
MR. HENDY:
Oh.
WAITER:
...names of famous philosophers,-- Uh, there you are. Uhh, have a nice conversation!
MR. HENDY:
Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
MRS. HENDY:
He's cute.
MR. HENDY:
Yeah, real--
MRS. HENDY:
Yeah.
MR. HENDY:
Real understanding. Mmm.
MRS. HENDY:
Oh! I never knew Schopenhauer was a philosopher!
MR. HENDY:
Oh, yeah! He's the one that begins with an 'S'.
MRS. HENDY:
Oh.
MR. HENDY:
Umm, like, uh, 'Nietzsche'.
MRS. HENDY:
Does 'Nietzsche' begin with an 'S'?
MR. HENDY:
Uh, there's an 's' in 'Nietzsche'.
MRS. HENDY:
Oh, wow. Yes, there is. Do all philosophers have an 's' in them?
MR. HENDY:
Uh, yeah! I think most of 'em do.
MRS. HENDY:
Oh. Does that mean Selina Jones is a philosopher?
MR. HENDY:
Yeah! Right! She could be! She sings about the meaning of life.
MRS. HENDY:
Yeah. That's right, but I don't think she writes her own material.
MR. HENDY:
No. Oh, maybe Schopenhauer writes her material.
MRS. HENDY:
No. Burt Bacharach writes it.
MR. HENDY:
But there's no 's' in 'Burt Bacharach'.
MRS. HENDY:
Or in 'Hal David'.
MR. HENDY:
Who's Hal David?
MRS. HENDY:
He writes the lyrics. Burt just writes the tunes, only now, he's married to Carole Bayer Sager.
MR. HENDY:
Oh, waiter. This conversation isn't very good.
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