RE: Trust and Lies (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

biracalsub4wmDom -> RE: Trust and Lies (11/2/2007 6:12:35 AM)

Personally, I am VERY self consious about my body.  I am full-figured, and for me to send naked full body pics of myself to someone over the internet would be horrifying!   Especially if I really like the person, and want them to really like me.  I  have to be really really comfortable with someone before I could do that.    That being said....I also wouldn't send a fake pic either.  I think she could have handled it a lot different.  She should have been honest with you & just told you of her insecurities and that she wasn't ready to show that yet.  You could have accepted that, or not accepted that.  That would have been your choice.  The fact that you are really into this woman, makes me think you probably would have given her the time she needed to feel that level of comfort with you.  Then this whole lie mess could have been avoided.  But, sense that didn't happen, I agree with pp that you need to address the lie.  To me, it was a BIG one.  To lie about who you are is huge.  Almost a deal breaker in my opinion.  How you should deal with it, I couldn't say.   Perhaps some of the other Doms could give some advice on that part.  :) 

Just my 2 cents. 



slimcontroller -> RE: Trust and Lies (11/2/2007 6:23:00 AM)

quote:

Do I dump her and move on? We talk on the phone and she has told me really personal stuff, I really think she is real, its just the photos, but now, i just feel I cant trust her.

Well you are the Dom, it's up to you. There are questions, of course, in my experience it is rare for a sub female to contact a Dom male, so we must assume that you chose to write to her in the US knowing that meeting was unlikely. Your profile hints at this and , to be fair, makes it clear that you want honesty and trust.

If the trust is so important, then you really have no alternative than to end this . If it was such compelling fun that the tust and honesty does not seem to matter so much matter quite as much - - well why not ?

Why not take a positive view, accept that you have had a huge amount of fun, stimulation and have explored with another human being your deeper ( darker ?) side. You ought to be glad of this, think of the good time. Hell it's only life !

Slimcontroller



Dnomyar -> RE: Trust and Lies (11/2/2007 9:30:43 AM)

Squeakers stay out of this. Hey op send me the cam.



LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Trust and Lies (11/2/2007 10:07:54 AM)

anything that is built on lies fails to last for long.  Some people use this as a form of trying to cheat their partner into a place they want.  The end result is still the same a feeling of betrayal and let down. But still stupid people try ..



Dnomyar -> RE: Trust and Lies (11/2/2007 10:15:45 AM)

LATEXBABY64 at least be politicaly correct.  Mentaly challenged is better.



LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Trust and Lies (11/2/2007 10:19:20 AM)

PC thingy is more of a fashion nazi thingy  I am just not that trendy lol



mya75 -> RE: Trust and Lies (11/2/2007 10:22:04 AM)

Sqeakers,
No..... that was my point she may or may not use it but it was more than evident he wasnt ready to just walk away ..so once again buying a webcam for her would really leave little room for excuses and possibly could provide him with what he needed to make his final decision......[8|] In any event seems that the original OP is satisfied and has resolved what was troubling him....Have a great day all **shouts: yeah send Dnomyar the cam!!** lol



Dnomyar -> RE: Trust and Lies (11/2/2007 10:44:54 AM)

ty mya.



Ubik -> RE: Trust and Lies (11/2/2007 12:27:35 PM)

Thank you all for your replies. To clear a  few things up. I never pressured her to send dirty pics. I asked her once, after we had talked for like 3 weeks as part of a task.
I asked her to get a webcam and she refused, so I left it like that and never asked again. The pics continued often without me asking her for them. Eventually she said she wanted to stop with them and my reply was fine, ok. And then a week after saying that she sent me more!
I actually met her through myspace and she had her false face pic on there, so it was natural to think thats what she looked like.
I think I will give her another chance, it is only fantasy as you say and I honestly think it is just the pics she had a problem with, and i would have respected that if she had just said. I am not exactly Brad Pitt myself but I still sent my real pic, warts and all! And I dont have a problem with overweight people, i am one myself!
She is somebody special i feel a connection with though, we talk for hours,share the same interests, views etc so I will try again I think, I just hope i can get past the trust issue

thanks again everyone



Squeakers -> RE: Trust and Lies (11/2/2007 2:38:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Squeakers stay out of this. Hey op send me the cam.
    Why?   LOL.



Missokyst -> RE: Trust and Lies (11/2/2007 3:13:32 PM)

Ok..
I have to admit I don't get it.  Your profile states you are dominant but that you aren't looking to own anyone, just explore fantasies.  You also state that you knew going into the chats with this "Amazing" woman, that you would never meet.  So.. isn't a fantasy what you want?  Fantasy is fiction, fiction is not truth, she tickled your pickle (loved that btw), you both got some enjoyment from your time together.  You got to know how her mind works, which is part of that fantasy deal.  Was it that you found amazing about her, or the pics she sent which you now find out are fake?
I am not a webcammer, nor do I send out pics unless I am planning to meet someone.  It doesn't seem like you two ever planned to meet, maybe for her, fantasy needed to be total.  Sure she should have told you, but neither one of you was wanting more than that fantasy which a porn star body helped provide.
In my view, internet connections are all fantasy (feel free to flame but it is what I feel).  And as you both went into this as a sharing kink sort of deal, I see a no harm no foul.
But it is up to you whether you can continue on now, knowing that it was so easy for you to be fooled for months.
Kyst



Prinsexx -> RE: Trust and Lies (11/2/2007 3:43:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rushemery

also if you dont really know who she is, she could be a he and or a minor and your sending  pictures 

This is so true

And in response to the OP:.
It could back fire on you if she is a minor.
It will almost certainlu back fire on you if the she is a he.
Also: i she really is AMAZING why has she got such issues about herself that she needs to lie about her body.
My advice is end it and go cold turkey....stay off deep on lne relationships and go for what is possible rather than what is impossible.
The impossible (ie no prospec of meeting) has an enormous arousal potential but that's all it is. Arousal potential.



Prinsexx -> RE: Trust and Lies (11/2/2007 3:45:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

PC thingy is more of a fashion nazi thingy 

Perfect soundbite.




Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
2.929688E-02