RumpusParable
Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
|
I have to echo all the responses so far... and add that there's a difference between dominas not being willing to take on married subs and not willing to take on married subs who are keeping secrets from/sneaking around behind their wives.
As the first two lovely women talked about: If you're looking to fill your need "on the down low" then you're likely to need to pay for it. Speaking personally, this is very true: I will not accept a personal sub/slave in your situation but would take one on professionally.
Why? Because they are different interactions, requirements, relationships. I'm not going to invest large amounts of my time, feelings, power, etc in someone who comes from a dishonest beginning in the relationship and who cannot openly devote themselves to my service. In easiest to understand terms: If I can't call/write and say "Be here/do this NOW" and have you turn to the wife and say, "Honey, Miss Rumpus called. I'll be back as soon as possible". Then a personal relationship isn't going to work.
Professionally, I could be your masseuse, your psychiatrist, whatever in that we share a time period that is personal in feel but there are specific and clear boundaries between our world inside a session and outside.
As the last lovely woman spoke on, and was touched on by MasterFireMaam too, you need to figure out and express just what it is you are actually craving.
Submitting and being of service to another is very different from wanting kink play... the two can and do overlap often, but they are not one and the same. Depending on your wife's feelings and personality, submitting to her may well still be a possibility as was said. She just may not want what is her first impression/thoughts on BDSM which tends to be the extreme and kink part of things.
D/s is a part of many "vanilla" marriages because it in and of itself isn't limited to the "lifestyle" world... they just don't go in for all the gear, fancy names, etc. Power exchange in a relationship is so common most don't notice it when it's there as it's just the way they and Bob/Jane interact. PE isn't limited to BDSM, it's just also in the BDSM realm because people are.
So what are you seeking from you wife exactly? D/s? Kink play? Both? -And given her feelings at this point, if it's kink or both must you have kink right now or can you wait on it some and see how she feels in a year?
What is it you are seeking from a domina outside your marriage? This is going to effect who and whether they're willing to consider you.
< Message edited by RumpusParable -- 11/2/2007 4:11:02 AM >
_____________________________
Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.
I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.
Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.
|
need to serve - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread