RE: Femdoms: What role should jealousy or possessiveness play in submissives?

RE: Femdoms: What role should jealousy or possessiveness play in submissives? (Full Version)

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ricar00 -> RE: Femdoms: What role should jealousy or possessiveness play in submissives? (11/3/2007 12:46:45 PM)
OMG, this is the situation i am in right now. My Goddess is extremely flirtatious and i am in a poly arrangement with 2 other subs, one of is her boyfriend, the other a girl. It is rather new and i am still learning about my own jealousies. But my Goddess keeps reminding me that she is very choosy and only picks to own a few. She has to remind me that she treasures me because i still am dealing with my own insecurities. I love to see her happy and really the issue isn't so much her flirtatious nature (which is so wonderful to watch, or even sharing, just not wanting to be left out. And she does everything to help me not to feel left out. i know this is a learning process in a real world relationship and it will take time. But your post really seemed to fit. thank you ricar00

ricar00 -> RE: Femdoms: What role should jealousy or possessiveness play in submissives? (11/3/2007 12:51:22 PM)
i want my Goddess's attention, but i don't need it all the time. When i feel insecure i need her to help me with my insecurity until i am fully secure (which will happen over time i hope). What is more important to me is the nature of the attention, the when, and making me feel special to her for what i have to offer. Jealousy is a difficult issue for me, but it is not about sharing but not feeling discounted or left out. But an excellent response Aakasha as usual. ricar00

MistressScarlot -> RE: Femdoms: What role should jealousy or possessiveness play in submissives? (11/6/2007 1:17:01 PM)
It's not the place of any submissive I train to be jealous of any relationships I have or develop with other men. I'm not something to be owned, I do as I please. I have excellent judgement and everything I do is out in the open, so I've earned the respect and unconditional support I get whenever I decide to get involved with a new male friend. I am slow to get entangled with anyone new, I prefer to make sure they are really compatible with my life and household before things go too far. Protectiveness is fine, though generally not necessary as I'm quite capable. But jealousy is so very...unattractive, and more about issues with self than anything I'm doing. ::smile::

CollegeConundrum -> RE: Femdoms: What role should jealousy or possessiveness play in submissives? (11/6/2007 2:48:59 PM)
Websites like this make it abundantly clear women are truely in a shark tank. It's a given, a lady would get hit on or flirted with; I really don't care about his advances but when I start seeing her advancing reactions then I might start to wonder.

MisPandora -> RE: Femdoms: What role should jealousy or possessiveness play in submissives? (11/7/2007 5:21:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressScarlot It's not the place of any submissive I train to be jealous of any relationships I have or develop with other men. I'm not something to be owned, I do as I please. I have excellent judgement and everything I do is out in the open, so I've earned the respect and unconditional support I get whenever I decide to get involved with a new male friend. I am slow to get entangled with anyone new, I prefer to make sure they are really compatible with my life and household before things go too far. Protectiveness is fine, though generally not necessary as I'm quite capable. But jealousy is so very...unattractive, and more about issues with self than anything I'm doing. ::smile:: Hmmm, I guess I see different guys who are human beings, who are fragile at times, who do feel jealous, possessive and all of those other human emotions from time to time. It's MY job to help control the situation, to help him manage those feelings and how they affect our relationship and those around us.

thetammyjo -> RE: Femdoms: What role should jealousy or possessiveness play in submissives? (11/7/2007 7:23:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MisPandora quote: ORIGINAL: MistressScarlot It's not the place of any submissive I train to be jealous of any relationships I have or develop with other men. I'm not something to be owned, I do as I please. I have excellent judgement and everything I do is out in the open, so I've earned the respect and unconditional support I get whenever I decide to get involved with a new male friend. I am slow to get entangled with anyone new, I prefer to make sure they are really compatible with my life and household before things go too far. Protectiveness is fine, though generally not necessary as I'm quite capable. But jealousy is so very...unattractive, and more about issues with self than anything I'm doing. ::smile:: Hmmm, I guess I see different guys who are human beings, who are fragile at times, who do feel jealous, possessive and all of those other human emotions from time to time. It's MY job to help control the situation, to help him manage those feelings and how they affect our relationship and those around us. This also requires that the sub be willing and able to work with you and on himself, right? Some people are not willing or able to work on their jealousy. Those are the people I avoid. I wants someone who has enough self-confidence that isn't a big issue to begin with but I am fully aware that things come up in every human relationship that both people must be willing to work on together.

Dari -> RE: Femdoms: What role should jealousy or possessiveness play in submissives? (11/7/2007 8:57:32 AM)
I don't care for jealousy. Each person in my life (not just the BDSM world, but in all aspects of my life) is there because they have an important and unique part to play in it. I love every person admitted to my life in a different way, and they should all be aware of that and secure in that fact. From time to time, some have had jealousy - but usually that's at the start of a relationship (of any sort), and it either gets worked out rather quickly, or the relationship simply can't last. I cannot and will not allow long-term jealousy regarding who I spend time with, be that in the form of BDSM play or just general play or funtime - that is too negative for me. I've spent far too much time tossing negative situations and emotions out of my life, to allow them to re-enter.

MisPandora -> RE: Femdoms: What role should jealousy or possessiveness play in submissives? (11/7/2007 9:59:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thetammyjo quote: ORIGINAL: MisPandora quote: ORIGINAL: MistressScarlot It's not the place of any submissive I train to be jealous of any relationships I have or develop with other men. I'm not something to be owned, I do as I please. I have excellent judgement and everything I do is out in the open, so I've earned the respect and unconditional support I get whenever I decide to get involved with a new male friend. I am slow to get entangled with anyone new, I prefer to make sure they are really compatible with my life and household before things go too far. Protectiveness is fine, though generally not necessary as I'm quite capable. But jealousy is so very...unattractive, and more about issues with self than anything I'm doing. ::smile:: Hmmm, I guess I see different guys who are human beings, who are fragile at times, who do feel jealous, possessive and all of those other human emotions from time to time. It's MY job to help control the situation, to help him manage those feelings and how they affect our relationship and those around us. This also requires that the sub be willing and able to work with you and on himself, right? Some people are not willing or able to work on their jealousy. Those are the people I avoid. I wants someone who has enough self-confidence that isn't a big issue to begin with but I am fully aware that things come up in every human relationship that both people must be willing to work on together. I'm going to be so bold as to say yes. I don't want to take on a submissive/a relationship that's not willing to work on bettering himself and becoming a more efficient vessel of service to me. Some issues, be it jealousy or some other emotional land mine, are far too large to take on. Those are the ones where I feel I must cut my losses rather than try to actively work things out.

MistressSandra2U -> RE: Femdoms: What role should jealousy or possessiveness play in submissives? (11/7/2007 10:12:43 AM)
A slave that desires to serve a powerful Domme has to swallow their jealousy and not allow that emotion to erupt in regrettable ways. Some people can handle their own feelings of jealousy and for others it will lead them to their own conclusions which is not submissive at all. How a slave reacts to his/her jealousy makes a difference in how I feel about it.

MissSCD -> RE: Femdoms: What role should jealousy or possessiveness play in submissives? (11/7/2007 11:59:20 AM)
My first engagement ended as a result of my fiance's jealously. One day, he hit the windshild of the car, and I figured I could be next. I was 18 then. I still feel the same way. I try not to put my slave in a position that would cause jealousy. I look at his feelings also. Regards, MissSCD

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