Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Femdoms: What role should jealousy or possessiveness play in submissives?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Femdoms: What role should jealousy or possessiveness play in submissives? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Femdoms: What role should jealousy or possessivenes... - 11/3/2007 12:46:45 PM   
ricar00


Posts: 45
Joined: 2/11/2006
Status: offline 		OMG, this is the situation i am in right now. My Goddess is extremely flirtatious and i am in a poly arrangement with 2 other subs, one of is her boyfriend, the other a girl. It is rather new and i am still learning about my own jealousies.  But my Goddess keeps reminding me that she is very choosy and only picks to own a few.  She has to remind me that she treasures me because i still am dealing with my own insecurities.
I love to see her happy and really the issue isn't so much her flirtatious nature (which is so wonderful to watch, or even sharing, just not wanting to be left out. And she does everything to help me not to feel left out.  i know this is a learning process in a real world relationship and it will take time. But your post really seemed to fit. thank you
ricar00

(in reply to HelenaTroy)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Femdoms: What role should jealousy or possessivenes... - 11/3/2007 12:51:22 PM   
ricar00


Posts: 45
Joined: 2/11/2006
Status: offline 		i want my Goddess's attention, but i don't need it all the time. When i feel insecure i need her to help me with my insecurity until i am fully secure (which will happen over time i hope). What is more important to me is the nature of the attention, the when,  and making me feel special to her for what i have to offer.  Jealousy is a difficult issue for me, but it is not about sharing but not feeling discounted  or left out.
But an excellent response Aakasha as usual.
ricar00

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Femdoms: What role should jealousy or possessivenes... - 11/6/2007 1:17:01 PM   
MistressScarlot


Posts: 51
Joined: 12/7/2006
Status: offline 		It's not the place of any submissive I train to be jealous of any relationships I have or develop with other men.

I'm not something to be owned, I do as I please. I have excellent judgement and everything I do is out in the open, so I've earned the respect and unconditional support I get whenever I decide to get involved with a new male friend. I am slow to get entangled with anyone new, I prefer to make sure they are really compatible with my life and household before things go too far.

Protectiveness is fine, though generally not necessary as I'm quite capable. But jealousy is so very...unattractive, and more about issues with self than anything I'm doing. ::smile::

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Femdoms: What role should jealousy or possessivenes... - 11/6/2007 2:48:59 PM   
CollegeConundrum


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline 		Websites like this make it abundantly clear women are truely in a shark tank.

It's a given, a lady would get hit on or flirted with; I really don't care about his advances but when I start seeing her advancing reactions then I might start to wonder.

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Femdoms: What role should jealousy or possessivenes... - 11/7/2007 5:21:30 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressScarlot

It's not the place of any submissive I train to be jealous of any relationships I have or develop with other men.

I'm not something to be owned, I do as I please. I have excellent judgement and everything I do is out in the open, so I've earned the respect and unconditional support I get whenever I decide to get involved with a new male friend. I am slow to get entangled with anyone new, I prefer to make sure they are really compatible with my life and household before things go too far.

Protectiveness is fine, though generally not necessary as I'm quite capable. But jealousy is so very...unattractive, and more about issues with self than anything I'm doing. ::smile::

Hmmm, I guess I see different guys who are human beings, who are fragile at times, who do feel jealous, possessive and all of those other human emotions from time to time.  It's MY job to help control the situation, to help him manage those feelings and how they affect our relationship and those around us.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to MistressScarlot)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Femdoms: What role should jealousy or possessivenes... - 11/7/2007 7:23:19 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressScarlot

It's not the place of any submissive I train to be jealous of any relationships I have or develop with other men.

I'm not something to be owned, I do as I please. I have excellent judgement and everything I do is out in the open, so I've earned the respect and unconditional support I get whenever I decide to get involved with a new male friend. I am slow to get entangled with anyone new, I prefer to make sure they are really compatible with my life and household before things go too far.

Protectiveness is fine, though generally not necessary as I'm quite capable. But jealousy is so very...unattractive, and more about issues with self than anything I'm doing. ::smile::

Hmmm, I guess I see different guys who are human beings, who are fragile at times, who do feel jealous, possessive and all of those other human emotions from time to time. It's MY job to help control the situation, to help him manage those feelings and how they affect our relationship and those around us.


This also requires that the sub be willing and able to work with you and on himself, right?

Some people are not willing or able to work on their jealousy. Those are the people I avoid. I wants someone who has enough self-confidence that isn't a big issue to begin with but I am fully aware that things come up in every human relationship that both people must be willing to work on together.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Femdoms: What role should jealousy or possessivenes... - 11/7/2007 8:57:32 AM   
Dari


Posts: 192
Joined: 10/8/2007
Status: offline 		I don't care for jealousy.  Each person in my life (not just the BDSM world, but in all aspects of my life) is there because they have an important and unique part to play in it.  I love every person admitted to my life in a different way, and they should all be aware of that and secure in that fact. 

From time to time, some have had jealousy - but usually that's at the start of a relationship (of any sort), and it either gets worked out rather quickly, or the relationship simply can't last.  I cannot and will not allow long-term jealousy regarding who I spend time with, be that in the form of BDSM play or just general play or funtime - that is too negative for me.  I've spent far too much time tossing negative situations and emotions out of my life, to allow them to re-enter.


(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Femdoms: What role should jealousy or possessivenes... - 11/7/2007 9:59:49 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressScarlot

It's not the place of any submissive I train to be jealous of any relationships I have or develop with other men.

I'm not something to be owned, I do as I please. I have excellent judgement and everything I do is out in the open, so I've earned the respect and unconditional support I get whenever I decide to get involved with a new male friend. I am slow to get entangled with anyone new, I prefer to make sure they are really compatible with my life and household before things go too far.

Protectiveness is fine, though generally not necessary as I'm quite capable. But jealousy is so very...unattractive, and more about issues with self than anything I'm doing. ::smile::

Hmmm, I guess I see different guys who are human beings, who are fragile at times, who do feel jealous, possessive and all of those other human emotions from time to time. It's MY job to help control the situation, to help him manage those feelings and how they affect our relationship and those around us.


This also requires that the sub be willing and able to work with you and on himself, right?

Some people are not willing or able to work on their jealousy. Those are the people I avoid. I wants someone who has enough self-confidence that isn't a big issue to begin with but I am fully aware that things come up in every human relationship that both people must be willing to work on together.

I'm going to be so bold as to say yes.  I don't want to take on a submissive/a relationship that's not willing to work on bettering himself and becoming a more efficient vessel of service to me.

Some issues, be it jealousy or some other emotional land mine, are far too large to take on.  Those are the ones where I feel I must cut my losses rather than try to actively work things out.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Femdoms: What role should jealousy or possessivenes... - 11/7/2007 10:12:43 AM   
MistressSandra2U


Posts: 33
Joined: 3/20/2007
Status: offline 		A slave that desires to serve a powerful Domme has to swallow their jealousy and not allow that emotion to erupt in regrettable ways. Some people can handle their own feelings of jealousy and for others it will lead them to their own conclusions which is not submissive at all. How a slave reacts to his/her jealousy makes a difference in how I feel about it.

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Femdoms: What role should jealousy or possessivenes... - 11/7/2007 11:59:20 AM   
MissSCD


Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline 		My first engagement ended as a result of my fiance's jealously.  One day, he hit the windshild of the car, and I figured I could be next.  I was 18 then.  I still feel the same way.
I try not to put my slave in a position that would cause jealousy.  I look at his feelings also.

Regards, MissSCD

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 30
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Femdoms: What role should jealousy or possessiveness play in submissives? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.063