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RE: a question about vanilla dating... - 11/3/2007 4:56:03 PM

FangsNfeet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: InnocentYoungSub

If a guy doesn't have his own ride, does that greatly decrease his chances of success in finding a date?

It was never a problem for me.

Don't worry about what possesions you have. It's your attitude, grooming, and composer that defines you. Be confident instead of being ashamed.

It's easy to always say "I just moved here and I'm still looking around for a car." Whatever you do, just don't make owning a car a big issue. The less you talk about it the better. In conversation, bring out your and her high lights and keep the down falls off the topic table. Be positive and it will all come together for you.

So how do you date when you don't have your own ride?

Hmmm, it's easy. Here are a few ideas.

1. Invite her over to your place for dinner and a movie. Always store hot chocolate and marshmellows at your place. Keep the temperture cold and be sure to have a cozy blanket the two of you can snuggle up in while watching the movie and sipping your coco. Also make sure the bottle of massage oil is visable to her. Infact, make it obvious by pointing the lotion out over by the movie section.

If you would like easy recipies simply send me a message. Corn dogs, pop corn, and coco have seduced more woman for me than Gormet Roast, Brandy, and fine Wine. Go figure.

2. Ask her to pick you up or meet you somewheres. Walk, ride a bike, have a friend or neighbor drop you off. After your date, go "This is great, I'm glad you had a good time. Would it be too much of me to ask for you to take me home?"
Don't say "my home" just say "home." If she drives you back to her place, then you know the date went really well. But if it has to be your place, don't forget to bribe her with a massage and hot chocolate.

3. It's not impossible to borrow a friends or realitives ride.

When a girl likes you, she'll normally over look some minor faults. As long as you're confident and possitive, she'll belive that you'll eventally have it all together. She'll stay, encourage, and belive in you. Give her that chance and she'll give you your chance.

Perhaps a little naive but I think you're smart. You can't worry about what you don't have. Be resorcefull and work with what you have. You can do it.

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RE: a question about vanilla dating... - 11/3/2007 7:13:33 PM

FangsNfeet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: InnocentYoungSub

Well I am worried about it, yeah. Things are different in the vanilla world. As a guy you're expected to be alpha and all that...

I dunno I think I might just forget it. I don't think I can afford to date anyone. Even if she drives I'll need to put in on gas, and I'll still be expected to pay for dates. I just can't afford it. I barely make $100 a week.

Women can be very dominant, demanding, and controlling even more so in the Vanilla world than BDSM. You can still be yelled at, humiliated, called names, and be told what to do by a woman who has nothing to do with being kinky. Some of these women may even scream at you "You're not getting any untill after you do _____!" Even in a vanilla relationship, you can find yourself being a slave to someone.

Im the scheme of things you have laid out for us, I think you can pull off dating. It's being in a serious relationship that I don't see you ready for.

In "Just Dating" there's little you can do when it comes to being fancy. However, there's still much you can do with charm, humor, and politness. Those three things can be used on any type of date.

1. Walk in the park. Maybe a picnic with sandwiches, chips, and cola.

2. Ice Cream or Coffee shop.

3. A movie or two at one of your places.

4. The Dollar Theater. If you have not seen the movie yet, it's still just as good.

5. Attend a city event / display for the public. Something as simple as the Christmass Lighting Ceromony can be a fun date.

These are all fun things you can do with another person for as little as five to ten dollars. You are not asking her to marry you. All you're doing is asking someone to have a little fun with you. It's all simple, fun, and cheap without any pressure on either of you.

On the first date, don't worry about paying for gas. Don't even bother to say "I'm sorry, but I wish I could pay for the gas." If she's there, then she'll be okay. It'll be after the thrid date you may want to sneak in a five or ten dollar bill in her purse. After all, it's not often that a girl will accept the money. Instead of having some silly fight of "Take it!" "I don't want it!" "No, I want you to have it." Just sneak it in.

Good luck and be depressed. You'll be on top before you know it.

So who and where do you see yourself asking out? Someone in the neighborhood, work, or area by the internet? Yahoo personals have more than a few girls in your area. I'm not speaking of just Tyler, TX. I'm also refering to Chandler, Coffee City, and those other little small towns.

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RE: a question about vanilla dating... - 11/4/2007 4:54:00 PM

InnocentYoungSub

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Wow, thank you Fang. This is all really good advice. You've changed my mind, man. I can do this. :)

I'll be asking this girl who works at a convenient store my father and I stop at every morning. Actually, my dad already talked to her about me and told her I like her without telling me first he was planning to do it. XD So there is some amount of pressure on me to set up a date before I get "friendzoned" or whatever. Gee, thanks Pops. lol.

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RE: a question about vanilla dating... - 11/4/2007 5:09:53 PM

MistressPurpleFL

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There are many things you can do that are free; you have to be secure in who you are and also be HONEST with yourself and her. Ok so you don't have a car and she does, so she may make more money than you SO??? Do you like her? How long have you known her? Do you really think she is that shallow?? IF she is then why do you want to date her? If you are so concerned about not even making 100.00 a week then find another job parttime. You need to really evaluate what is important to you and why not just get to know her on a frienship level and see what happens.

MP

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RE: a question about vanilla dating... - 11/4/2007 5:11:20 PM

MistressPurpleFL

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Good Descriptive advice Fangs :)

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RE: a question about vanilla dating... - 11/4/2007 6:30:15 PM

oreogirl

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you have mail. and fangs advice is fantastic. wish i knew of some guys who would have thought of that when i was dating inthe vanilla world. The Christmas Tree idea brought me a major shot of happy. :)

< Message edited by oreogirl -- 11/4/2007 6:40:10 PM >

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RE: a question about vanilla dating... - 11/4/2007 9:03:11 PM

FangsNfeet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: oreogirl

you have mail. and fangs advice is fantastic. wish i knew of some guys who would have thought of that when i was dating inthe vanilla world. The Christmas Tree idea brought me a major shot of happy. :)

My advice works for BDSM just as well for vanilla. Sure it's a vanilla date to begin with, but who says it has to end with a vanilla night? When the door closes at there or my place, things can still get kinky. Even when on these vanilla dates, the converstaions can always envolve whips, chains, and a little servitude. You can still be very naughty on a vanilla date. I blame it on the hot coco. Thank God for Hot Coco and marshmellows. I might still be a vanilla virgin if it wasn't for chocolate.

When feeling nice, a Dom can still take you out to see bright lights on a tree.There's no rule that says we doms can't do such a sweet thing for the sub we love. Later on, the dom can but some lights and wrap them around as if you are a tree. As Naughty Santa he can put toys in the tree.

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RE: a question about vanilla dating... - 11/4/2007 10:05:24 PM

Owner59

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quote:

ORIGINAL: InnocentYoungSub

I dunno I think I might just forget it. I don't think I can afford to date anyone. Even if she drives I'll need to put in on gas, and I'll still be expected to pay for dates. I just can't afford it. I barely make $100 a week.

Don`t pussy out.

Just go with it and fall or triumph,on what happens.

To never go,would be tragic.What`s the worst thing that can happen,that wouldn`t happen by ditching the date,anyway?

You have only to gain.Just go.I think your nerviousness is getting the better of you.Stop thinking and obsessing about it.Really,just stop thinking about it all.

You`ll really regret not going,if you pussy out.

Go,have fun,she`s a good girl ,blaa ,blaa.lol Go!

< Message edited by Owner59 -- 11/4/2007 10:06:48 PM >

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RE: a question about vanilla dating... - 11/5/2007 3:15:08 PM

InnocentYoungSub

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Thanks for the advice, everyone. Unfortunately I chickened out today, so maybe tomorrow.

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RE: a question about vanilla dating... - 11/14/2007 4:32:44 PM

InnocentYoungSub

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I still haven't asked her out. I dunno I think I may just be too uncomfortable trying to ask her out with me having no ride.

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RE: a question about vanilla dating... - 11/14/2007 5:51:44 PM

ThinkingKitten

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Meanwhile, she's at home, IM'g her friends about how this REALLY cute guy who comes in every day, who she knows has something for her, STILL hasn't asked her out, even AFTER she talked to his dad about it. Like, whats WITH that?

You know if you're clean and tidy and polite, go ahead and ask her. At the very worst she's going to blush and say "No thank you". In which case you just smile and say "no problem". I wouldn't suggest asking if you can buy her a coffee... judging by her place of employment

.

I don't know about young female expectations these days, but when I was young (gawd I'm SOOOOO old) I just wanted to spend time with a guy. I really didn't care what we did . I do seem to remember renting roller skates......

You'll probably find you have the bigger issue with you not having a car than she does. Good luck! I think we're all rooting for you IYS.

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