Service Topping (Full Version)

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Aubre -> Service Topping (11/2/2007 7:56:36 AM)

Here's a scenario for you:

Let's assume you are open to casual play. A person approaches you and asks you to "Service Top" them. You would tie, tease and torture but they would tell you how, when and what they wanted don, and they wanted no deviation from their wishes. They have a need they want filled, and have chosen to ask you to help with their request. To top it off, you find the person incredibly attractive. What would you do?



IamJustMe2C -> RE: Service Topping (11/2/2007 8:44:59 AM)

This person has a very spacific scene in there head and wants it played out. There is no differance here between what you are doing and what they would have done if they would have sought out a pro Dom and paid them to do it. It is not Topping from the bottom or anything like that. The fact that they are actractive is a bonus that is all. If you think you want a relationship with this person the aproach it when you are not playing and leave that part out of it so they still feel comfortabel coming to you to play. Or you might loose them for the ocasional scene. Who knows they might like you enough to come to you for a relationship. As a Dom you must have patience and reserve your feelings in all matters. This is something that they came to you with in a non sexual way so maybe you should keep you little head where it belongs and keep your self in your role as a Dom and let them come to you. A strong Dom might be a lonely one some times but he is greatley rewarded in the end.



BossyShoeBitch -> RE: Service Topping (11/2/2007 8:47:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aubre

Here's a scenario for you:

Let's assume you are open to casual play. A person approaches you and asks you to "Service Top" them. You would tie, tease and torture but they would tell you how, when and what they wanted don, and they wanted no deviation from their wishes. They have a need they want filled, and have chosen to ask you to help with their request. To top it off, you find the person incredibly attractive. What would you do?

You go home.


...Duh, what the hell do you think you do?? lol



Archer -> RE: Service Topping (11/2/2007 8:49:07 AM)

Personally the "No Deviation" clause would kill the deal for me.
So I would negotitate a bit and see if we could find something that would feed both of our souls and still meet the desires the person has. Fully Scripted scenes really are not something I can live with. And if that means I miss out because i am true to myself then so be it, the reward of living in integrity outweighs the short term benifit of a hot play partner.

Someone starts a negotiation with an opening offer, that does not mean that you cannot counter offer.



HeavansKeeper -> RE: Service Topping (11/2/2007 9:28:56 AM)

In my adventures I've found many people who like the taboo side of sex. Reasons beyond control leave them with little time or interest to pursue it deeply. The comprimise is to dabble. Wanting to be a temporary TPE slave, where one (one = temporary TPE slave) is in complete control is a dabble. A compirimise.

The reason to want to be a bottom is too long to go into. Let's call it nature and nurture.
The reason to want to be in complete control as the bottom is more simple. There is a lack of trust. One can still get a rush, even if it's known that the "power over you" is fake.

So your question reads, to me:
"Someone said this to me: 'I'm intrigued by kinky sex. I want to be the bottom. I don't trust you and your judgment enough to leave the specifics up to you, but I want to feel completely dominated. Here is the list of stuff I like done to me in chronological order."

Some people would hop on that offer in 1/2 a second. Others would kindly refuse. Hypothetically, if I were single and bored, STD's didn't exist, and I had some sort of relationship with the person, I'd do it. The offer is very similar to "Do you want to eat my pussy?"

Eating pussy and the physical side of topping are very similar. They both require effort, skill, and the return for doing so is a smile on your partner's face. (unless you're a sadist, in which there is additional reward [but not regarding the cunilingus])

ANYWHO...

I have always found myself to be the kinky one of my friends. If they had a question in regards to sex, I usually got to answer it. I've been offered to do similar "introductions" to BDSM, but politely declined. Your call, Hotshot.



Aubre -> RE: Service Topping (11/2/2007 11:03:11 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch


You go home.


...Duh, what the hell do you think you do?? lol


Yeah, that's what I think too, but I wondered about people who would be unwilling to yield any aspect of dominance even when presented with a hot willing participant, doing a lot of the things they probably would have done with them anyway but at the request of the bottom, not because its what they wanted to do.



BruisedTonsils -> RE: Service Topping (11/2/2007 11:03:20 AM)

From a sub's view, when you cannot find anyone to fit that bill, you would look to a "friend" who may do it. 

I can totally see me asking someone to do the exact same thing.



probablyknowme -> RE: Service Topping (11/2/2007 12:56:37 PM)

I think I need clarification....a service Top is defined by doing a scene that a sub requests?

kat



DarkDaddyZ -> RE: Service Topping (11/2/2007 1:21:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

Personally the "No Deviation" clause would kill the deal for me.
So I would negotiate a bit and see if we could find something that would feed both of our souls and still meet the desires the person has. Fully Scripted scenes really are not something I can live with. And if that means I miss out because i am true to myself then so be it, the reward of living in integrity outweighs the short term benefit of a hot play partner.

Someone starts a negotiation with an opening offer, that does not mean that you cannot counter offer.

"Service Topping" unless it's for a community cause (fundraiser etc) is like buying a car. As Archer said you need the balance of negotiation.

I don't top just to top, I have to have a level of a connection and get MY needs met as much as the bottom is.



FangsNfeet -> RE: Service Topping (11/2/2007 4:40:00 PM)

I'd do everything my way or walk out leaving them tied to the bed. What can I say, I'm just not all the keen on taking orders.



Petronius -> RE: Service Topping (11/2/2007 4:46:39 PM)

It very much depends on what I'm interested in doing at the time. If their "no deviations" rule coincides with something I'm interested in then I have no problem with it. Otherwise we simply don't mesh.

Bttoms have a right to ask for exactly what they want; Tops are free to accept or reject it. No problem either side, either way.



Damocles809 -> RE: Service Topping (11/2/2007 4:48:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aubre

To top it off, you find the person incredibly attractive. What would you do?


Probably find her less attractive. 



RumpusParable -> RE: Service Topping (11/2/2007 6:10:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aubre

Here's a scenario for you:

Let's assume you are open to casual play. A person approaches you and asks you to "Service Top" them. You would tie, tease and torture but they would tell you how, when and what they wanted don, and they wanted no deviation from their wishes. They have a need they want filled, and have chosen to ask you to help with their request. To top it off, you find the person incredibly attractive. What would you do?


I'm fully game for service topping someone who knows what they're looking for and tells me... but the constant nit-picking and instructing every.single.step. that you describe would not be acceptable to me. 



wisteriaV -> RE: Service Topping (11/2/2007 6:14:51 PM)

Isn't that what the so called "Pros" get paid for?



RRafe -> RE: Service Topping (11/2/2007 6:52:17 PM)

That would depend entirely on whether what they wanted matched what I wanted.

And if I actually liked them.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Service Topping (11/2/2007 10:33:23 PM)

Refer them to one of the very excellent Pros in their local area. This is what these Ladies (usually) get paid to do...and do it well. Everyone is happy.

Master Fire



TheChauvinist -> RE: Service Topping (11/3/2007 5:45:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aubre

Here's a scenario for you:

Let's assume you are open to casual play. A person approaches you and asks you to "Service Top" them. You would tie, tease and torture but they would tell you how, when and what they wanted don, and they wanted no deviation from their wishes. They have a need they want filled, and have chosen to ask you to help with their request. To top it off, you find the person incredibly attractive. What would you do?
Tell them to get a submissive/slave if they want someone to do only what they want, how they want it. I'm not Burger King.



RumpusParable -> RE: Service Topping (11/3/2007 7:59:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: wisteriaV

Isn't that what the so called "Pros" get paid for?


Not in my case.  Service topping to a fantasy, yes.  Dealing with a client that is so nitpicky that you hate being there, no.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Service Topping (11/3/2007 3:15:37 PM)

If it was a close friend, I'd consider it.  Otherwise, no thanks.



KnightofMists -> RE: Service Topping (11/3/2007 4:14:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aubre

They have a need they want filled, and have chosen to ask you to help with their request. To top it off, you find the person incredibly attractive. What would you do?


Say "No Thanks"... and move on 



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