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Need advice about a subs family and the issues they are... - 11/2/2007 11:56:21 AM   
WantCuck4BBW2Use


Posts: 11
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		I have a strange situation..and I would like some input.

I have been talking to someone in another state for a few weeks and we decided I would go to see him. It progressed really quickly into that he would move here as we didnt want to do the long distance relationship route. He gave notice to his job..told his roommate which is his cousin that he was moving out..etc. Well the cousin had a fit..went and told david's parents. Long story short emails were being read yesterday and not responded to..so I didnt make the trip. I then got an email from his mother saying I had brainwashed there son..made him go insane..and leave him alone that they had done an intevention to keep him from me. He had never wanted them to know of his lifestyle..another reason for moving. The last email was if I would move there..repent of my evil ways..and go to church every Sunday we could be together. I am at a loss..I cant just move but I want to be with him. My vanilla friends all say let it go..not worth the hassle..but its not that easy once you care about someone. Thoughts or suggestions would be appreciated.

Christie


< Message edited by WantCuck4BBW2Use -- 11/2/2007 12:08:36 PM >
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RE: Need advice about a subs vanilla family and the iss... - 11/2/2007 12:05:20 PM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		You make no mention of  david's reaction to all of this. Is he still planning on moving to be with you. If not, there is the problem.

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RE: Need advice about a subs vanilla family and the iss... - 11/2/2007 12:06:49 PM   
TwistedLady


Posts: 29
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline 		I honestly don't think he'd be worth your time if he can't make his own decisions without his mother's approval. I certainly wouldn't suggest you move there with the promise to attend church every Sunday and "repent of your evil ways". Unless, of course, that's your thing...

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RE: Need advice about a subs vanilla family and the iss... - 11/2/2007 12:10:27 PM   
Gwynvyd


Posts: 4949
Status: offline 		wow..

I know what you are going through... it is hard. I was thought to be the evil witch.. and spawned from Hell it's self.

If he has a spine he will deal with his family.. tell them to bugger off.. and contact you. I know being a Domme you wish to go in and rescue him from obviously unwell people. ( they think we are nuts so... hey pot vs. kettle) But you have to let him take that step of getting out from under his family. He has you to run to.. and he knows it. If he really wants to he will. He will find a way. I know it is hard to say "Just sit back and let him do it on his own" but that is really what you need to do. He has to make that first move now that the crazy family has gotten all involved.

Good luck!

Gwyn

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RE: Need advice about a subs vanilla family and the iss... - 11/2/2007 12:10:53 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		TwistedLady  s got it right  and  wow  way too much drama .. why are parents and cousin  envolved ...

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RE: Need advice about a subs vanilla family and the iss... - 11/2/2007 12:12:58 PM   
WantCuck4BBW2Use


Posts: 11
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		The cousin was the roommate..thus in telling him he went and told the parents..and it went to hell from there.

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RE: Need advice about a subs vanilla family and the iss... - 11/2/2007 12:17:28 PM   
MistressPurpleFL


Posts: 112
Joined: 10/2/2005
Status: offline 		I understand that it may be difficult; but do you really know him well enough to truely care about him??? I am being the devil's advocate...   As for myself I want a sub/slave but I am not willing to take on his mother and cousin UNLESS they want to serve me as well.  I want a man who has a BACKBONE. 
 
Sincerely,
MP

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RE: Need advice about a subs vanilla family and the iss... - 11/2/2007 12:23:16 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		Who is brainwashing who ? Sounds like he has/had the disire to live out his BDSM  yet the family is saying no no bad evil repent now  and get the giant church thumb . Also they wish you to  also be a part of the curch thing too and using that as a condition . WOW dont drink the punch .Personaly i think if you want the uphill battle  bend thier way , if you wish to be true to yourself  then say best of luck to him  and farewell .He should be open and honest and true with who he is if he really is who he claims , and unless you wish to be controled and changed by the family  move on . Mr right is  not always  the one infront of you yet.


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RE: Need advice about a subs family and the issues they... - 11/2/2007 12:29:55 PM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Thoughts or suggestions would be appreciated.

Move on- why spend your time dealing with this crap?
I sure wouldn't waste my time

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RE: Need advice about a subs vanilla family and the iss... - 11/2/2007 12:46:05 PM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TwistedLady

I honestly don't think he'd be worth your time if he can't make his own decisions without his mother's approval. I certainly wouldn't suggest you move there with the promise to attend church every Sunday and "repent of your evil ways". Unless, of course, that's your thing...


I tend to agree with this. I would also look at the bigger picture, if he cannot handle his family what else cannot he handle and what other things of this nature will cause issues. I might have written something different if he was still in control and committed to moving toward you but that appears not the case.

One wonders if he wanted to move to you or away from his family…



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RE: Need advice about a subs vanilla family and the iss... - 11/2/2007 12:58:11 PM   
mya75


Posts: 300
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		I would definately not waste the time ..I think it would be a lot different had you guys actually met and had known eachother much longer...But the fact he thinks you have "evil ways" and that so called "repenting" and going to church would solve them only proves he is immature and not ready to come out from his crib just yet.I dont fault his family at all they are protecting their relative from what they think is unsafe and insane behavior .He is the one with the obligation to you not them.....Everyone knows going to church doesnt make you a saint nor does claiming to have repent...."looks to her newpaper and reads the latest preachers scandal & realizes that is whole new thread*

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RE: Need advice about a subs family and the issues they... - 11/2/2007 1:06:05 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		you sure the e-mail you got from his mother was just that? sounds more to me like he was just a person on the internet playing games, who was about to be 'found out' when it came time to meeting, but felt bad if you traveled there and they never showed up, so now they have to concoct some bullshit story to get out of having to deal with you anymore...

i mean, you never met face to face prior to this have you?

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RE: Need advice about a subs family and the issues they... - 11/2/2007 1:07:41 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		My input:  Learn to distance yourself from dysfunctional people.  Get to know someone before making decisions regarding relocation.  

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RE: Need advice about a subs family and the issues they... - 11/2/2007 1:09:06 PM   
DarkDaddyZ


Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline 		You have to ask yourself is it worth it, is he worth it, and will he decide this is what he wants?  Right now based on what you've posted, it doesn't sound that way, but only you know can know for sure. However you haven't even met each other yet so take that in consideration.

Z-

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RE: Need advice about a subs family and the issues they... - 11/2/2007 1:16:48 PM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		He's going to listen to Mommy instead of to his Domme.

Hm.

Good enough reason to call that one quits. For me, at least ... but then, I'm old and cranky a lot of the time.

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RE: Need advice about a subs family and the issues they... - 11/2/2007 1:16:54 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		Why in the world are you even considering speaking to this person again beyond "I'm sorry, you're not yet ready for any relationships and your family seems to be insane.  I wish you well but I'm not going to waste time with this situation."?

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(in reply to WantCuck4BBW2Use)
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RE: Need advice about a subs vanilla family and the iss... - 11/2/2007 1:53:02 PM   
WantCuck4BBW2Use


Posts: 11
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		From what I was told they are keeping him to where he cant contact me..which I of course said that wont work longterm if he wants to be with me. Its a huge mess..I guess I just have to sit back and see if he contacts me.

Christie

(in reply to Estring)
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RE: Need advice about a subs family and the issues they... - 11/2/2007 1:58:47 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

He gave notice to his job..told his roommate which is his cousin that he was moving out..etc.


I think anyone who does this before even meeting in person is crazy, especially after only chatting for a few weeks.  Also i would never want to deal with a family like his.  Good luck with it.

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RE: Need advice about a subs vanilla family and the iss... - 11/2/2007 1:59:20 PM   
MistressPurpleFL


Posts: 112
Joined: 10/2/2005
Status: offline 		Hmmm I am sorry but HIS story seems fishy and well HE could just be playing you.... They have him where he CAN'T contact you???? He is a GROWN man is he NOT?? He has the right to tell Mom and cousin to back off RIGHT??
 
I am hoping that you are NOT so desperate to be involved with just ANYONE to get involved with HIS bull IF he is being honest.  I am not saying this to be mean but you are a WOMAN; Dominant at that so you have other options and should not waste your time with MEN who have no backbone.  If his situation was surrounded in truth would you want to Dominate a man who had a mother hanging around watching you????

_____________________________

"Life is too short to stay in the missionary position" By Mistress PurpleFL

"Nothing caresses like a suede whip in my hand; now let me touch you all over." Be me

"Smile at me with your eyes as you KNEEL to serve me with your HEART!" By me

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RE: Need advice about a subs vanilla family and the iss... - 11/2/2007 1:59:21 PM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		They are keeping a grown man hostage.

So ... they either have guns and their own bondage gear ... which makes them ~really~ creepy for keeping their own son / cousin / uncle / sister / whatever caged ...

... or ... this is a ruse ... (which is my greatest feeling about it)

... or ... good god it's not something I'd want messed up in. Christianazis, "saving" their favorite son from all the evils in the world, converting the slattern heathen daughters and making them repent for their sins ... and I'm not talking about the fun scene kind.

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