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RE: Giving up things - 11/24/2007 5:19:18 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Don't make the mistake of equating submission to sacrifice and/or martyrdom.  This is all about being YOU and choosing a relationship which is fulfilling to YOU.  It may appear that the slave "gives up everything" and it is often sadly a point of "coolness" to be a slave who "gives up more than you" but that's pretty much all bullshit.

Wow, LA.  I missed this earlier in the month when it was first posted.  What a mouthful.  I could not agree more!!!!  I have always found it mind boggling when a slave would try to convince the populace in general that they are making the ultimate sacrifice and it has zero to do with their own fulfillment or needs/desires.  I call bs as you did.  Even if their fulfillment comes from being a martyr, they are still being fulfilled in some way or they wouldn't be there.................luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Giving up things - 11/24/2007 6:34:29 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		To me, what makes BDSM so meaningful is that it is a language/space where I can explore myself.  I can experiment with how to organize my relationship, what I do or don't give to a partner, when and how I ask for my needs and wants to be met, and in short seek fulfilment.

The trick is to find a partner on a similar path.  So you have to kind of figure out what path you are on and start looking for people with whom you can explore the things that yo want to explore.

Thus:
Daddy Doms
Poly Relationships
Leather Dykes
Masochists
Tops
Bottoms
Whatevers...

It is about becoming you as completely as possible.

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Giving up things - 11/27/2007 9:04:31 PM   
ISOHOH49


Posts: 28
Joined: 10/20/2007
Status: offline 		I just wanted to take the time to thank each of you who responded to my post.

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Giving up things - 11/28/2007 8:21:31 AM   
slavemaia


Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ISOHOH49

Why is it  that the Sub is one expected to give up everything for the Dom?  What is it that the Dom contributes? Can one be a Sub if they have no intenting in trusting in the Dom to love, care for them, protecte them, seek the best form them or for them.  Is this a real expectation or just words that Dom say.


i tend to think this statement is true of just about anything in life - "for every gift and benefit we receive, we must also embrace the added responsibilites". If you actually meet someone who is so completely wrapped up in themself that they communicate to you that they see it as a one way street - with you doing all the giving and giving up and them doing nothing, RUN or laugh because they are either a total idiot or a total ass. Yes, as a slave, it's about Him, but having it be about Him is what i seek and He takes excellent care of me.

_____________________________


She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to ISOHOH49)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Giving up things - 11/28/2007 8:34:03 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

Sigh!

It's really simple. If he wants a kind of relationship that you don't want, then you say "Thanks but no thanks, and good luck finding someone who is into that".

And the next time you state clearly what you do and don't want in a relationship and you don't settle for something you know won't make you happy and content to stay with him.

Any other questions?


It IS so simple, but yet so difficult for so many.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Giving up things - 11/28/2007 9:18:05 AM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

quote:

ORIGINAL: ISOHOH49

Why is it  that the Sub is one expected to give up everything for the Dom? 


Presumably the submissive is giving up control, since that's the nature of power exchange relationships.  That, and anything else that may be given up, is done so consensually.  My only expectations would be that they live up to whatever responsibilities we have mutually agreed upon.

quote:


What is it that the Dom contributes?


Whatever I have agreed to contribute.


quote:


Can one be a Sub if they have no intenting in trusting in the Dom to love, care for them, protecte them, seek the best form them or for them. 


I'm not sure what kind of relationship is possible without trust.  A very casual one at best.  Beyond that, every submissive and Dominant may agree upon whatever qualities they wish to include in their relationship.  I'm not aware of any list of required qualities, though love, caring and the like are relatively common. 

quote:


Is this a real expectation or just words that Dom say.


I can't speak for all Dominants.  If you're asking whether all Dominants are truthful and will live up to their consensual obligations and responsibilities... no, being Dominant doesn't mean that they're all honest. 
 
John


Perfect.

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e


(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 26
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