From the Physical to the Metaphysical ~ The Mental Side of BDSM

From the Physical to the Metaphysical ~ The Mental Side of BDSM (Full Version)

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SteelofUtah -> From the Physical to the Metaphysical ~ The Mental Side of BDSM (11/2/2007 9:45:53 PM)
First things first I was NEVER a Sadist. I don't like hurting people. Kinky ass slapping and toys go right out the window the second I feel that I have hurt them. So as far as being a Sadist that Idea dropped quickly. I liked the idea of all the rules and the Order and the Control but when the relationships got serious and the emotions became real I always became less and less interested in how quickly she said "Yes Sir" and more in tune to the little things she would do when she didn't think I was watching that showed me she was utterly devoted to serving me. Has anyone else as they moved deeper into thierselves as a Dom, Domme, Master, Mistress, sub, slave, gurl, or boi started to feel that the play is fun and all and the scenes are still good but I LONG for the connection. An example, My wife is my slave, we have a UM (Midget), at a weekly group get together (NON Kink Obviously) he was fussy and crying and someone came out and asked her if she would mind taking my son away from the room as it was disturbing. I really didn't give a crap but when I came out, and met her in the car she was near tears, and when I asked her what was wrong she said " I am upset that I made you look bad, I should know better than to let the boy cry like that, everyone knows he is your son, I made you look bad." Now this was something I would have never in a million years cared as deeply as she did about, but the feeling inside me was so strong. She cared only about how the incident made me look. I quickly reassured her she did NOT make me look bad and that I didn't even care but that I was happy that she thought the way she thought. There was a connection there that was deeper than any scene, more than and order being carried out. It went beyond the things she physically does for me and showed me a glimpse of what goes on inside her head. Does anyone else have examples of this kind of connection or reaching this place in thier BDSM relationships that they would like to share? I would like to see if I am alone on this though I doubt that I am. As Always Steel

RRafe -> RE: From the Physical to the Metaphysical ~ The Mental Side of BDSM (11/2/2007 10:01:10 PM)
Everything I do in this is about the connection-including the kink. If it was just about the physical, I would have gotten bored and wandered off-a long long time ago.

insistentone -> RE: From the Physical to the Metaphysical ~ The Mental Side of BDSM (11/2/2007 10:02:54 PM)
The D/s dynamic is a vehicle that can be used to make an impact upon another person. In M/s we talk about molding the slave, changing them in such a way that suits us, which is a more extreme version of the same thing. Before what you called D/s could have been passed off as playing, but now that you see that you ave impacted her, changed her, you know that it is more than playing. Some people play around at BDSM, they are out for kicks, others do it for real. Anyone who does it for real has experienced what you describe.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: From the Physical to the Metaphysical ~ The Mental Side of BDSM (11/2/2007 10:16:05 PM)
Shortly after meeting one particular slave in my life, and bonding in a way I didn't think was possible, I took him to his out-patient surgery. When he was coming to, he wouldn't open his eyes until I was in the room. On the way home (about a 2 hour drive), he struggled to stay awake to keep me company. When we got close to home, I stopped at the pharmacy so that we could get his script filled. he was totally out of it and so I thought I'd try simply take in his ID stuff with me to get it filled (small town...they all knew me). I needed his ID so called his name...no answer. I shook him...no answer. I called his name loudly AND shook him...no answer. I stopped and said in a firm, loud tone, "slave jason." his eyes snapped open, his head turned to me and he said, "Yes Ma'am?" You just can't fake stuff like that. he has of yet to petition for a collar, sadly, but there will be room in the household when he does. Master Fire

Gwynvyd -> RE: From the Physical to the Metaphysical ~ The Mental Side of BDSM (11/2/2007 10:34:53 PM)
There are a million and one ways they show you when they have served with thier whole being.. when they are truely Yours. It isnt in how they move, or writhe, or moan or any of that physical stuff.. it is in how they care.. how they think.. how thier very thoughts are of pleasing you not because they want punishment, or do not want punishment or sex.. but because they wish to bring you happiness. My girl has for the last 5 + years gone out of her way to make my life easier.. and to make a good impression on those around us. She keeps my faveorite food and drink items ready for me, she tucks me in to bed each night... rubs my sore muscles with out my even asking she just automaticaly knows what hurts by watching how I have been moving all day.. She knows when I am too stressed to deal with home work issues... and deals with our son. When she first started going to galas, and volunteer things with me as my other half she took the time to learn how to be pleasing to me in public.. and how to be proper in those settings with our situation. ( having never been in a lesbian relationship herself.. little alone one that required so much public exposure ) She loves me and serves me well enough to get rightously pissed when others place me second in thier lives when she feels I should always be first.. Gods I love her. She has also cried ( the good kind) when we have made love. Now that is powerful. Gwyn, Proud owner of the fiesty lil GwynsDemona

MistressPurpleFL -> RE: From the Physical to the Metaphysical ~ The Mental Side of BDSM (11/3/2007 1:32:10 AM)
In a Dynamic such as a M/s relationship it is a combination of both mental and physical. The bottom line is if that "deeper connection" is there or has potential to be there it is a wonderful thing. The Dynamic does not have to "Show itself" only during play. The Ultimate for me is when a male sub or slave that I have subconsciously knows his place even when "play" is not scheduled. The everyday life exists with mundane tasks but when a slave is always aware of his Mistresse's feelings and needs it is a wonderful thing and vice versa. Smiles, MP

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