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Submission and Stress Relief - 11/3/2007 5:54:08 AM

Frenchman6972

Posts: 2
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline

The last two weeks have been extremely stressful.

During the more stressful moments, I have found myself wishing I could just kneel before a Domme and take comfort in the knowledge that my only responsibility is to do exactly what I'm told to do as enthusiastically and as well as I possibly can.

Is this a common motivation for submission? If not, am I just wishing there was a simple solution to relieve the stress?

Does a Domme find it enjoyable knowing the service She demands not only pleases Her but benefits her sub as well?

Post #: 1

RE: Submission and Stress Relief - 11/3/2007 6:13:03 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Since Fox is my slave not my submissive, he also finds those times when he can be simply submissive to be very very relaxing to him. As Fox has said on numerous occasions, being a slave is a lot of work and responsibility.

We get minor moments of this when we watch tv together at night for an hour or so and his own job is to sit or lay down next to me and keep me company. No expectation that he will serve or have to think beyond what watching tv requires.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Frenchman6972)

Post #: 2

RE: Submission and Stress Relief - 11/3/2007 6:43:38 AM

MistressTanya83

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Joined: 11/2/2007
Status: offline

I enjoy having the knowledge that the things my sub/slave does for Me also satisfies them.
It gives Me pride to know that I can have everything I desire, when I desire and my sub/slave gets a positive feeling and fullfillment from it.

_____________________________

With an open heart you should come, ready to believe in a grand vision, a world where Women Rule!..

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 3

RE: Submission and Stress Relief - 11/3/2007 8:15:43 AM

beeble

Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline

I've had a very stressful time recently, moving from one country to another. During that time, it was very helpful for me to be able to talk to and submit to my Mistress but I'm honestly not sure to what extent it was the submission or the talking that was most relief; whether it was being able to switch off the outside world or to (metaphorically) rest my head on a sympathetic shoulder.

I'm not sure that you're `just wishing for a simple solution', since a relationship isn't a simple solution to anything; but being in a relationship is an important and effective support mechanism at times of stress and so on. Much of this is based on the fact that my Mistress's domination is very caring and loving; if you're after a more whips-'n'-chains kind of Domme, things might be different.

(in reply to Frenchman6972)

Post #: 4

RE: Submission and Stress Relief - 11/3/2007 8:31:15 AM

footboy26

Posts: 2
Joined: 12/6/2005
Status: offline

I agree Mistress Tanya, it is an honour to do anything that keeps the Superior happy.

(in reply to MistressTanya83)

Post #: 5

RE: Submission and Stress Relief - 11/3/2007 8:32:44 AM

gracieamelia

Posts: 26
Joined: 10/21/2007
Status: offline

I hope I dont fluff feathers, but I am going to disagree, only because I have had different experiences.

One Dom wants his long distance submissive's stress relieved by playing with a couple, "used, to relieve her stress" ............
While another Dom believes that stress should be handled appropriately not by serving (actively with sex or passively being in "a" presence) and negating all responsiblilty for a period of time.

Yes, it does depend on the submissive. But more importantly, what the D type knows about the submissive and what is best for her/him.

What is best for the submissive might not be what the submissive thinks is best for themselves.

Personally this leads me to more questions, without answers, but that's what life is for...... exploring, learning, evaluating .............

(in reply to beeble)

Post #: 6

RE: Submission and Stress Relief - 11/3/2007 8:45:19 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: gracieamelia

While another Dom believes that stress should be handled appropriately not by serving (actively with sex or passively being in "a" presence) and negating all responsiblilty for a period of time.

Since I think this is referring to me, I'll reply.

Actually I don't think that stress *should* be relieved in any particular way. I wasn't talking about what I think, only sharing Fox's experiences. This is what he gets out of submission -- stress relief among other things I'm sure.

Personally I think that it is healthiest to be able to deal with stress by one's self because at the end of the day and at the end of life, one's self is the only thing one can count on.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to gracieamelia)

Post #: 7

RE: Submission and Stress Relief - 11/3/2007 8:55:51 AM

MystressDream

Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline

One of the BDSM activities I enjoy is total immobilization bondage... combined with sensory depravation. I have even had prominant Doms in the community ask to be put into my bondage for a few hours at a time. <grin> The bondage solidifies the total surrender of control, and the sensory depravation shuts out the world around them. After an hour or two in that kind of bondage, many have said they come out of it feeling like they have slept for 8 hours. All stress and tension is gone. So, activities alone can serve as a stress reliever.

In the OP's case, just kneeling at his Mistress's feet and surrendering to her will is a stress reliever for him... and I also have experienced this with submissives. It is a wonderful part of the entire D/s or M/s dynamic. But then, not all look for that chemistry... that energy exchange... the type that lends itself to the contentment of a caring and protective relationship.

It's so beautiful that this can be different for everyone.

_____________________________

Knowledge and experience are wonderful things to share. When we stop asking questions, we might as well "hang it up".

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www.enclavewest.com

(in reply to Frenchman6972)

Post #: 8

RE: Submission and Stress Relief - 11/3/2007 9:13:39 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

Gentlemen who have served me in the past say that it is incredibly relaxing to serve, be it in a service capacity, or to engage with me in a masochist session bottoming to my whip or cane, or in a bondage session being at the mercy of my restraints and rope. That's the nature of a power exchange where a dominant takes responsibility, gives clear, concise instructions, takes his submission as a gift, returns the energy back to her charge and completes the circle.

Likewise, enven though managing a submissive/slave is an immense undertaking and responsibility, I find myself relieved of my day to day stress when I have someone look up into my eyes with such pure intent and devotion, offering themself to me.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to Frenchman6972)

Post #: 9

RE: Submission and Stress Relief - 11/3/2007 3:25:56 PM

MistressFaye1

Posts: 276
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline

Frenchman,

I understand what you are talking about. I have had many submissives, especially those in high stress jobs or those in leadership positions need the release submission can give. The act of letting go of all of your responsibilities as the shot caller and placing yourself at the will of another with having to think, only act is stress reducing. Like someone else said the power flow can be great at times like this.

I spend a lot of time getting to know My submissives because I want to know what their needs are too. There is an interesting forum on ask a Domme, I think entitled, Service vs.Selfish Domination. I want to know what makes My subs tick. A happy submissive makes for a happy Domme.

So many times Dominates wonder why their submissives leave... well it's simple, there are not getting what they need in the relationship and they go elsewhere. Looking for right fit is no easy task as you well know.

Having the ability to understand that above all else W/we are human beings first, makes for healthier relationships. It's possible to allow time to meet a submissives needs when the situation warrants it. For Me it strengthens the D/s dynamic.

Ms. Faye

< Message edited by MistressFaye1 -- 11/3/2007 3:39:04 PM >

_____________________________

You can put away your masquerade
You won't ever have to be afraid of Me
Open up your eyes and see what is in store
I must the One that you are searching for.

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 10

RE: Submission and Stress Relief - 11/3/2007 4:27:31 PM

aidan

Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline

Submitting and S/m play are great stress relievers for me, but not the primary reason I do what I do.

On the other hand...I suppose the argument could be made that it is, because if I was to deny my sexual nature I would probably be even more stressed. It's taxing to bottle up your natural desires. But then, that's more me avoiding stress rather than relieving it, I suppose.

I don't think it's an uncommon motivation, no, nor that there's anything wrong with it if you're honest about your desire.

As an aside: I really liked that post, MisPandora. That's how I feel when I'm with someone, and how I hope I make them feel. :)

_____________________________

Do what now?

"I aim to misbehave."
-Mal Reynolds

(in reply to MistressFaye1)

Post #: 11

RE: Submission and Stress Relief - 11/3/2007 5:13:26 PM

AFlyInYourWeb

Posts: 284
Joined: 8/30/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Frenchman6972

Is this a common motivation for submission? If not, am I just wishing there was a simple solution to relieve the stress?

My "motivation" to submit goes a great deal deeper than that.

That said, yes, it can relieve me of stress.

First, because most of my life is spent in public being who I want family, friends and society in general to believe I am. In the domain of a Domina, I can shed all of that stereotypical armor and be who I really am. I cannot adequately express how liberating and counter-stressful that can be.

Second, once I am in a Domina's hands, my mind is far too absorbed by her to give anything else much thought or worry. Her mere presence commands my entire attention, to the exclusion of even the biggest worries I may have in "real" life.

< Message edited by AFlyInYourWeb -- 11/3/2007 5:14:31 PM >

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Post #: 12

RE: Submission and Stress Relief - 11/3/2007 6:16:28 PM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Frenchman6972

The last two weeks have been extremely stressful.

During the more stressful moments, I have found myself wishing I could just kneel before a Domme and take comfort in the knowledge that my only responsibility is to do exactly what I'm told to do as enthusiastically and as well as I possibly can.

Is this a common motivation for submission? If not, am I just wishing there was a simple solution to relieve the stress?

Does a Domme find it enjoyable knowing the service She demands not only pleases Her but benefits her sub as well?

You should sit quietly alone, close your eyes. Don't analyze. Don't think. Just listen. 10 Minutes a day.
Starting...

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e

(in reply to Frenchman6972)

Post #: 13

RE: Submission and Stress Relief - 11/3/2007 6:39:41 PM

aidan

Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline

quote:

[Reply to Message]

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly

quote:

ORIGINAL: Frenchman6972

The last two weeks have been extremely stressful.

During the more stressful moments, I have found myself wishing I could just kneel before a Domme and take comfort in the knowledge that my only responsibility is to do exactly what I'm told to do as enthusiastically and as well as I possibly can.

Is this a common motivation for submission? If not, am I just wishing there was a simple solution to relieve the stress?

Does a Domme find it enjoyable knowing the service She demands not only pleases Her but benefits her sub as well?

You should sit quietly alone, close your eyes. Don't analyze. Don't think. Just listen. 10 Minutes a day.
Starting...

Yes, a little light meditation will go a long way towards easing you up.

_____________________________

Do what now?

"I aim to misbehave."
-Mal Reynolds

(in reply to MistressDolly)

Post #: 14

RE: Submission and Stress Relief - 11/3/2007 8:06:07 PM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

It is a very valid reason for wanting to be a sub. For a time you simply hand all of your cares away. Your only concern becomes doing what you are told. You don't have to make decisions, pay bills, take phone calls. All you have to do is pay attention to one person and follow whatever She tell you. It is a very healthy escape.

(in reply to Frenchman6972)

Post #: 15

RE: Submission and Stress Relief - 11/5/2007 5:23:32 PM

Cloudz

Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Frenchman6972

The last two weeks have been extremely stressful.

During the more stressful moments, I have found myself wishing I could just kneel before a Domme and take comfort in the knowledge that my only responsibility is to do exactly what I'm told to do as enthusiastically and as well as I possibly can.

Is this a common motivation for submission? If not, am I just wishing there was a simple solution to relieve the stress?

Does a Domme find it enjoyable knowing the service She demands not only pleases Her but benefits her sub as well?

Frenchman,

Nope - it's not wrong. Anymore than it is wrong for me to want my shoulders and feet rubbed when I am stressed out. That does not mean I cannot find ways to work through stress on my own - it simply means it feels good to have him relieve my stress in a physical way - loosening tight muscles and doing something that relaxes me.

Yes, I am very very happy knowing that serving me pleases my submissive. Sometimes I am equally happy doing things that he does not enjoy, for in the end - that also pleases him to see me enjoying myself. He is a human after all, and if either of us is not getting our needs met on a consistent basis - then what are we doing in a relationship?

Even a serious masochist needs to find someone to meet his pain needs - or he will move on to find one who does. So yes, in a successful relationship it should matter to me that my sub finds it satisfying to serve.

Just my .02.

_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."

(in reply to Frenchman6972)

Post #: 16

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