Statepalace
Posts: 185
Joined: 9/20/2007 Status: offline
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Sorry it’s taken so long to reply to everyone – work has been crazy these last few weeks. Who knew working for Aflac could be so much fun? I love my job ;) Since I’m not quite familiar with how to incorporate those little text boxes from each person’s reply, I’m just going to go by name and do it all in one post. Batshalom – I know what you mean; pleasing Him should being sufficient motivation to do something. Doing my weekly grocery shopping in thigh high boots with six inch heels (and the longest skirts I have, lol) falls under that category! This isn’t quite like that, though, as it is something I don’t know HOW to do without that awkward feeling. I just want to make it feel more natural. Thanks for the reply. Willowrain – I really like the idea of arm wrestling. I think it might help get me used to resisting, and the non sexual part takes away a lot of the “performance anxiety”, if that makes sense. I love the description of a large and determined kitten with boobs! And oh yes, I totally agree about hotness of having someone physically strong enough to just take it. Very, very hot. The arm wrestling may also help shift it into the physical contest realm, and make it easier to embrace. Thank you. CrazyAngel – I know, technically I’m doing what He says, I just want to feel it AND know it. Thanks for the reply. RRafe – LMAO. He wishes I had MORE shoes. I am such a tomboy (correction, I WAS such a tomboy). I have more tools than shoes. My favorite pairs are - 1 pair of running shoes, 1 pair of boots, and my flip flops. Have only three heels (for work) and they’re from Payless. He’s added the 6” thigh high boots, and a 5” pair of locking heels. So losing the shoe collection might not be something He would be cool with. Besides, the whole point is for Him to successfully force me (can you really rape the willing?) while I resist. If He didn’t win at some point in the evening that would kind of defeat the purpose, lol. Plus, since we have “no biting, no head shots and no groin” as struggle rules, He’s taking me down unless I hurt Him. I do like the idea of tying a goal to it, though. That concept made me think of having a time goal, like maybe 5, 10, 15 minutes. Round 1, 2, 3? I could see 5 minutes as a minimum, then maybe some kind of reward if I was able to keep Him away for longer than that? It might work. Thank you. Applecandy – The thing is, I KNOW He’s going to succeed, so the “punishment” would be unavoidable. I tend to panic in situations like that, where I know that no matter what I do I’m going to fail Him. No win situations do not work with me (and me having no possibility to make Him happy is interpreted by my head as “no win”). Knowing that I’m going to fail at something He asks me to do just tears me up. I just start apologizing over and over for f*()ing it all up, before anything even happens. I know it might sound strange, but I am harsher with myself than He could ever be. Adding “punishments” to something I’m tentative about would likely just make me freeze and mentally call myself stupid. Yeah, I was the college senior with an ulcer and anxiety attacks. It’s MUCH better, and I can mess up now without beating myself up for it (teaching high school for 2 years helped a lot). I do like the idea of tying it to something, and maybe making a game out of it would help, but with rewards instead of punishments. Heck, they don’t even have to be rewards. He could just say that different levels of struggling made Him “happy, very happy, or incredibly pleased”. That might work. Thank you. grlneedstolearn – Thank you for the post. I hope that I will be enjoying it soon! KnightofMists – He uses the word “primal” a lot to describe His goal for this kind of interaction. It is the opposite of thinking to much, I know! Had a thought just now that might explain my hesitation with this. While I have been “kink aware” since about 18, this is the first D/s relationship. It started out in a D/s structure, so I’ve never worn a “different hat” with Him. Huh. Maybe that’s why. The quote did help, thank you. Xoxi and charlotte12 – Thank you. We will be doing a role play with it, and I think that will help. And yeah, He’s going to be a “bad guy”, so I think that will help a lot. He has described my character as a lot more “feisty”, and I think that looking at it as theatre where I am expected to fill a certain role will REALLY help. Thank you! LuckyAlbatross – Thank you. It never occurred to me that a kink would take practice, but that makes perfect sense. And yes, I have been beating myself up over it a lot, and the more I do that the less I can focus on being in the moment. We’ve talked about what He wants it to look like, but we haven’t really discussed the why of it. I am such a huge “why” person and I like the idea of seeing it from His perspective. Great advice – but I would expect nothing less from a Buffy fan ;) If I had three wishes, after disease cures and ending hunger, James Marsters would be number three. Screw the millions, give me Spike.
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And if I cease to desire and remain still, the empire will be at peace of its own accord
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