growing old together (Full Version)

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softandshy -> growing old together (8/4/2005 2:45:02 PM)

Think i was listening to too much Beatles today, "When I Get Older" is running through my head. Actually, while i came to collarme in search of information and eventually a D/s relationship, i would really like to meet someone with whom i can grow grey. Do others here have that hope? How realistic is that in a D/s relationship? For those who have been in the lifestyle longer, how long have your relationships lasted? Would anyone who has been in a long term D/s relationship mind sharing their experience? i would be very interested to hear from submissives and Dominants both.

Thank you.



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: growing old together (8/4/2005 4:42:39 PM)

Ds is no different from vanilla in this. Some do, some don't, some will, some won't.



littleone35 -> RE: growing old together (8/4/2005 5:08:31 PM)

sorry shy not to make light of you question but i have to laugh my Late Master was quite a bit older then me and was already gray. On a more serious note i think most people look for someonme thry can grow old with.

littleone



sub4hire -> RE: growing old together (8/4/2005 5:19:02 PM)

quote:

Do others here have that hope? How realistic is that in a D/s relationship? For those who have been in the lifestyle longer, how long have your relationships lasted? Would anyone who has been in a long term D/s relationship mind sharing their experience?


You need to communicate exactly what you are searching for to all you speak to. They must have the same wants as you.
My first relationship with my dom lasted 10 years. The current one 6 and a half so far.
We plan on marrying...so hopefully if all goes well indefinately.



Faramir -> RE: growing old together (8/4/2005 6:36:58 PM)

quote:

I wanna make you smile whenever you’re sad,
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad.
All I wanna do, is grow old with you.

I’ll get your medicine when your tummy aches,
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks.
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you.

I’ll miss you.
I’ll kiss you.
Give you my coat when you are cold.

I’ll need you.
I’ll feed you.
Even let ya hold the remote control.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink,
Put you to bed if you’ve had too much to drink.
I could be the man, who grows old with you.
(I wanna grow old with you)



softandshy -> RE: growing old together (8/4/2005 7:08:09 PM)

Thank you for responding. For some reason i had gotten the impression that the majority of D/s relationships are transient. i did speak to the Mistress about this when we first began exploring. i am hopeful for the relationship, just not completely sure of what to expect, how the D/s aspect affects things, so i thought i'd ask how common lifelong relationships actually are. i do know that uncertainty is normal at the beginning of any relationship. :)

Faramir, i really enjoyed the song. Thank you. Who plays that?



MstrHellsFury -> RE: growing old together (8/4/2005 7:30:53 PM)

my first..to whom I'm married..(D's was a part before marriage)..celibrate our 21st wedding anniv the 27th of this month...see we can remember dates...my second..7 yrs now..but she's soon to depart for personal reasons...and with her release I hope only the best for her...so in answer to the question...yes a number of us do grow frey together...(big smile)...


Fury



MstrHellsFury -> RE: growing old together (8/4/2005 7:32:54 PM)

as a footnote...my first and I were together for over 7 yrs before I took her hand in completion...



Faramir -> RE: growing old together (8/4/2005 9:44:29 PM)

It's Robby from the Wedding Singer (Adam Sandler). Very sweet little song actually (a little ore service oriented than I dig but hey).



lightmuse -> RE: growing old together (8/4/2005 9:47:54 PM)

This quote made me quite emotional as it speal\ks volumes, tells wha I yearn for so,
Can it ever really be?



fastlane -> RE: growing old together (8/4/2005 9:58:53 PM)

I feel we are looking for what you consider a long term relationship.....growing old together.

However, I hate the word old and the term growing old, so I would modify my search to say someone that I can grow wiser with, because I do grow a little bit smarter (ass) each day.

(Sung to when I'm 64 or 69? by the beatles.)

"When I get wiser, collar you good, will that make you stay?
Will you look at me as if my hair is just grey, or will you judge me for how I can play.
You make like bondage, being controlled in every aspect you know
but will you still serve me will you still please me...or say I got to go?

You'll be wiser too!! We can hang in wax and ties...til we realize.....WE ARE A MATCH, but lets not grow old...lets grow together!"



proudsub -> RE: growing old together (8/5/2005 1:25:18 AM)

We plan to grow old together, hoping for many more years, married 37 yrs now.[:)]



Mercnbeth -> RE: growing old together (8/5/2005 7:29:28 AM)

quote:

Do others here have that hope? How realistic is that in a D/s relationship?


we have been together for 3 1/2 fantastic years and hope very much that it will last at least another 30!!!!



sultryvoice -> RE: growing old together (8/5/2005 8:30:21 AM)

I have only been in one D/s relationship and it was only 1 year..It wasn't meant to be much more as I look back. I am now wanting to find someone for a long lasting relationship. You know, whether D/s or vanilla, the basic things run through a committed relationship. I just hope I find what is for me in this world..

Respectfully,
sultry



ChereeAmoor -> RE: growing old together (8/5/2005 10:00:23 AM)

We have been together for 19 years and our partner for 6 years. Since we aren't looking around for anything other than what we have, things feel very stable and there is a certain sweetness to long-term relationships that is sometimes lacking in the flashfire types. I think a lot of people want a companion throughout their lives, and there are some of us who are lucky enough to have found it - you will too, I am certain.



stormsfate -> RE: growing old together (8/5/2005 11:50:23 AM)

I've been told I will grow old with him. I have been with him for over nine years so far :)


best regards,
fate



Gauge -> RE: growing old together (8/5/2005 4:09:50 PM)

quote:

Actually, while i came to collarme in search of information and eventually a D/s relationship, i would really like to meet someone with whom i can grow grey. Do others here have that hope? How realistic is that in a D/s relationship?


I want to find someone that I can grow old with. This is why I am looking for someone that is well spoken, has a sense of humor and is intelligent. After the looks fade and the interest in sex wanes in both partners, I want someone that I can sit in my rocking chair and talk to and laugh with. I think it is realistic in any relationship. It requires work and communication.



softandshy -> RE: growing old together (8/6/2005 5:06:26 AM)

i stand in awe of those of you who have been with a partner for so long. It's something i aspire to, but i know about the effort it must take even if i haven't experienced it yet.



itzelwing -> RE: growing old together (8/6/2005 7:21:28 AM)

Soft,

My Kat and I have been together for nine years now, and I look forward to being with her when we're both into our dotage. However, ours is not solely a D/S relationship...even though that is how it started.

It's been a challenge at times, for both of us, and we've ridden out a couple of pretty serious storms. It takes work, just like any long-term relationship. If the relationship is right, it's the most worthwhile effort you'll ever exert.

You absolutely have to communicate and be honest, and you can't be scared to say something that might hurt the other one a little bit sometimes in order to avoid hurting them a whole lot later. This is a recent lesson for she and I (should've been obvious, but there ya go), and I pass it on in hopes that someone else can make use of it.

Never take a good thing for granted.

OK, I'm starting to sound like Ann Landers or something. Enough.



sub4hire -> RE: growing old together (8/6/2005 9:04:58 AM)

quote:

For some reason i had gotten the impression that the majority of D/s relationships are transient.


You're right, most are. If you start taking a poll you will find 6 months to be a good long term relationship within the scene. Someone said that to me year's ago. I was astonished after just ending a ten year relationship. Yet, I started asking everywhere I went. Sure enough people were right.

However, that has nothing to do with the lifestyle. It is about people period. Not being able to make a relationship work. Look at the divorce rate. You need to know what you are seeking. Go out and get it, settle for nothing but what you absolutely need.
Truth and communication are essential.
Even today after 6.5 years of being together when people ask us to go places more often than not we decline. Quality time is something we cherish and know we need to survive.
Will it last forever? I sure hope so but no real idea on that. We just do the best we can from day to day.



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