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Video Chatting as a Screening Tool - 11/4/2007 11:59:31 AM   
amiciaN


Posts: 228
Joined: 1/20/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings everyone--

After being here for a while, it seems that the biggest problem most people have while trying to find someone here on collarme is weeding out those who are undesirable for whatever reason.  Happily, I was never looking, as I was owned by NChaka long before I ever came here (I really am here just for the forums).  Still, I can't help but wonder if I'm the only one who sees a webcam and headset as a tool for anything besides cyber-sex.  I realize I am likely biased because of the current long-distance status of my relationship with NChaka, so I want to see what others think, just because I'm the curious sort.

What are your reasons for or against using video chatting as tool for finding who you are searching for?  What may be the hazards or benefits, regardless of orientation or label?  Thanks for helping satisfy my curiousity.


_____________________________

NChaka's amicia

I have never been lifted so high as when I kneel at His feet.
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RE: Video Chatting as a Screening Tool - 11/4/2007 12:49:03 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Somewhere in my ramblings on my profile I have something about using one. At least I used to.

Basically, I reserve the right to demand it. If I feel like I am being given a line of BS, as an example, there was a guy from Italy that first approached me as a male sub. When he struck out there, he kept creating faux female profiles to try and get me to chat with him. I knew it was him just by the rhythm of his words, his choice of words, just everything screamed out to me that it was him. All I had to do was push for a webcam visual to run him off.

I don't mind that it may push away the occasional shy female. If they cannot get past that hurdle they probably won't have the courage to meet in person anyway.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to amiciaN)
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RE: Video Chatting as a Screening Tool - 11/4/2007 1:05:18 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I see nothing wrong with it.  My Master and I use video chat a lot between us, but I know he has required it of long distance girls he has spoken to as well.  Often times they wish to see him, too, to know who they are talking to.

Video Chatting can be used as a screening tool for all sorts of things, by the way.  I have conducted job interviews via video conferencing.  I did a stellar interview for a job in Denver once, without ever hopping on a plane :)

The negatives of such a tool, I have found, is that depending on the program, sometimes the first part of words gets cut off, and sometimes frame relay is much slower than reality.  So one should be aware of movements.  For example, waving really fast may not translate over very well.  Enunciation in talking is something to be aware of, too.

Also keep in mind, screen shots.  Anyone can save anything when video chatting.  With the program my Master and I use, he can record the entire session as a personal video (I can set my preferences to allow this or disallow this).  But screen shots can be made by anyone...something to remember for those who cam.

Enjoy!

(in reply to amiciaN)
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RE: Video Chatting as a Screening Tool - 11/4/2007 1:11:57 PM   
amiciaN


Posts: 228
Joined: 1/20/2007
Status: offline 		Hi LaTigresse--

Thanks for your reply, lady tiger.    I didn't see anything specific in your profile though I did enjoy reading it.  The part about webcams much have been eliminated in the rewrite.

That's one advantage to using video.  Those who obviously misrepresent themselves are exposed.  Any others?  What about negative experiences?  Does anyone have a reason NOT to use video?



_____________________________

NChaka's amicia

I have never been lifted so high as when I kneel at His feet.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
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RE: Video Chatting as a Screening Tool - 11/4/2007 1:21:50 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings amicia,

i have no problem with using webcam chatting; i simply choose not to do it, so i think it sucks as a screening tool because i know i'm cool people but i just won't webcam chat. i don't have a webcam...i don't feel the need to get one just for this purpose. i also don't do a lot of online chatting due to not having a lot of energy/time for that kind of thing...and webcam chatting makes it even more difficult for me to multitask when i'm chatting online. i have no problem meeting in person after talking online a couple of times, or talking on the phone, or anything like that...i just don't see any reason to purchase a webcam in the first place. i think there are plenty of valid reasons why people might not want to webcam chat, so that's why i don't really care for it as a screening tool, especially if the person is willing to talk over the phone or meet in real life.

respectfully,
annabelle.


_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

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RE: Video Chatting as a Screening Tool - 11/4/2007 1:26:44 PM   
mya75


Posts: 300
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		I dont really mind it..it is a good tool but not all of the people asking us to use them are sane *lol* they think because you turn on your cam its time for you to hop out of your chair and parade around like a model ..that is the only time I have an issue I always ask "Do you type standing up?" and from my experience many people with cams simply dont use them often *myself included* so its usually the ones without cams who always become bothersome about usage....*kinda unfair*

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~**Mya Papaya**~

"A fool learns from his own mistakes, a wise person learns from the mistakes of others."

(in reply to hisannabelle)
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RE: Video Chatting as a Screening Tool - 11/4/2007 1:35:07 PM   
amiciaN


Posts: 228
Joined: 1/20/2007
Status: offline 		Hello ownedgirlie--

You've expressed a lot of my own thoughts about it, but I wanted to hear what others thought before posting anything specific.  As I said in another thread, how many saved trips to Starbuck's does it take to recoup the cost of the equipment, let alone a plane ticket?!?

Another thought I have that's especially relevent to those who may be more physically vulnerable is personal safety.  It seems that video chatting is more safe than a meeting in person, unless your idea of a coffee shop is the police station break room.  Video can also be a good way to verify a person's name and address... or at least make MrPyschoDom get a fake ID for that assumed name. 


_____________________________

NChaka's amicia

I have never been lifted so high as when I kneel at His feet.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Video Chatting as a Screening Tool - 11/4/2007 1:49:03 PM   
amiciaN


Posts: 228
Joined: 1/20/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings hisannabelle--

I didn't mean to imply that all those who choose not to use webcams aren't 'cool', or that it should be the only screening tool used.  It was more of a response to seeing so many threads relating to the various difficulties of finding someone and seeing video rarely mentioned as a tool at all.

I do have one thought regarding not having time for video chats.  In some cases, wouldn't video be more convenient than actually going somewhere, especially in bad weather?  One could have a 15 minute video chat and figure out that there's nothing to pursue in the length of time it takes to get to the coffee shop in the first place.


_____________________________

NChaka's amicia

I have never been lifted so high as when I kneel at His feet.

(in reply to amiciaN)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Video Chatting as a Screening Tool - 11/4/2007 1:52:11 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		One other thing I just thought of.  When Master taps into my webcam, there's a place on my program that shows his IP address.  This may be something cammers might want to be aware of as well.

(in reply to amiciaN)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Video Chatting as a Screening Tool - 11/4/2007 2:10:41 PM   
amiciaN


Posts: 228
Joined: 1/20/2007
Status: offline 		Hi mya75--

Oh I agree that there a lot of people out there that don't meet my definition of sane!  Unfortunately, some times I'm one of them!   

On a more serious note, a "Dom" (and it's in quotes 'cause I'm using that term, as I define it, rather loosely here) who makes that kind of request is showing you who he really is and where his interests are rather clearly, isn't he? 

As far as using the cam is concerned, I was really nervous at first too, but it's not a big deal anymore. Like with most things, it gets easier with practice.  I know my almost mentionable male offspring uses video to talk to friends of both genders online without a second thought.  He just sees it as another way to talk, same as in-person, by cell phone or IM, so it's definitely a matter of what we are used to.  It seems to be us older ones who tend to primarily see the 'perverted' uses of the webcam.  Maybe that's because we've had more practice at being perverted? 


_____________________________

NChaka's amicia

I have never been lifted so high as when I kneel at His feet.

(in reply to mya75)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Video Chatting as a Screening Tool - 11/4/2007 2:26:39 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings amicia,

i wasn't saying that you were - only that in my experience, those who are not willing to video chat for whatever reason are viewed as being fake or playing games, or not really being interested in actually pursuing anything. i know that for me personally not wishing to video chat has nothing to do with not actually being who i say i am or anything like that, but that's how it's often viewed (in my experience at least).

in response to your other question...i don't chat online very often because my health issues just make it difficult for me to focus and sometimes my energy/pain levels are not good even when i do have the time to chat (which isn't often). for those reasons i've just found that it's better for me to use email...every now and then i will go on messenger, but nowhere near as much as i used to. as i said, video chatting also can make it hard to do other things while i'm on messenger, which i often need to do. i can't imagine learning anything about someone through video chat that i couldn't learn about them through regular chat, email, or over the phone that would make me not want to meet them, personally.

respectfully,
annabelle.


_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to amiciaN)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Video Chatting as a Screening Tool - 11/4/2007 5:35:07 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amiciaN

Greetings everyone--

After being here for a while, it seems that the biggest problem most people have while trying to find someone here on collarme is weeding out those who are undesirable for whatever reason.  Happily, I was never looking, as I was owned by NChaka long before I ever came here (I really am here just for the forums).  Still, I can't help but wonder if I'm the only one who sees a webcam and headset as a tool for anything besides cyber-sex.  I realize I am likely biased because of the current long-distance status of my relationship with NChaka, so I want to see what others think, just because I'm the curious sort.

What are your reasons for or against using video chatting as tool for finding who you are searching for?  What may be the hazards or benefits, regardless of orientation or label?  Thanks for helping satisfy my curiousity.



A woman here that I was talking to still had a fixation over a past dom she had broken up with.

Eventually she looked at my cam-saw I wasn't him-playing mind games with her-and moved on.

I wish her well-but it was probably the best thing for both of us.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to amiciaN)
Profile   Post #: 12
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