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Is it safe for toys to be used on Multiple partners? - 11/4/2007 12:04:57 PM   
Maestro66babycak


Posts: 396
Status: offline 		Master Jess has 2 dildos that he uses. Since he has now started training another person ( which , if anyone cares , I do NOT want to be part of a poly, so I am VERY upset about this-mortifies and horrified of STD's)  is it possible for him to transfer and STD's that the trainee has to me? To clean them all he does is wash them in cold water with a little liquid soap.  I am so afraid that I am going to get some kind of fatal STD from this blankety blank trainee.He never even asked her if she was disease free. Before I would scene with Master Jess I required him to give me a report from his doctor stating that he was disease free. I don't understand why he didn't even ask her!

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RE: Is it safe for toys to be used on Multiple partners? - 11/4/2007 12:15:23 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		FIRST OFF YES  is the simple answer to the unsafe  question -the other coment i had was EWWWWWWWW .. a dildo or vib is so cheap why do you not have your own  ?and she have her own ?I know i have personal toys  that are used only on me .Also sounds like deception has angered you  rightly so if he just brought a new person  in without  communication with you . A lil soap and water is  fine  but turn on the HOT water , there are much better ways to sterile toys  -but if cross using  with multi partners  i would say his cleaning methods need upgrading  and to also add a condom to the toys use . You should have your own personal  toys aswell , including toys that may get blood contaminations  . In the end  just by your discriptions i would not put myself at risk .
Best wishes ..

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RE: Is it safe for toys to be used on Multiple partners? - 11/4/2007 2:07:43 PM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		If I were in your position, I would tell him buh-bye!  Keep in mind that just because you are a sub, doesn't mean your concerns are meaningless and that needs can't be met.

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RE: Is it safe for toys to be used on Multiple partners? - 11/4/2007 5:34:53 PM   
completenz


Posts: 315
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		with you on this. If he is not man enough to deal with your concerns then he is not worthy of you. It may hurt at the time but i do feel you should begin to look elsewhere
hugs
chrissie

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RE: Is it safe for toys to be used on Multiple partners? - 11/4/2007 5:53:31 PM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		Well, to answer the OP's actual question: Yes, you can sterilize non-pourus materials like latex, silicone, plastics and metals by washing them. Soap and water is only half the answer, however. He might want to soak them in a sink filled with 90% water and 10% bleach.

You can't sterilize open pore materials like leather, or wood.

If I were you, I'd tell him that he'd better have a health report on his new trainee, stat, or you are asses and elbows out of his life. Either that, or the trainee and you have seperate toys for high risk activities.

Accept no comprimises where your health and saftey is concerned.

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RE: Is it safe for toys to be used on Multiple partners? - 11/4/2007 6:29:17 PM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		Silicone dildos can be boiled and put in the dishwasher, so can glass ones....there are antibacterial cleaners  for other types of insertible out there and they are quite good, but personally I would go for either separate toys for each orifice...and each person...or use one or two condoms as well as as much disinfectant I could get my hands on.
Of course you could just get out of the relationship,  if it is that much of a concern, Its certainly not something I would care to have foisted on me. But that is up to you:)
Good luck
Lucy

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RE: Is it safe for toys to be used on Multiple partners? - 11/4/2007 9:11:47 PM   
ladysekhmetka


Posts: 94
Joined: 12/31/2006
Status: offline 		I'd insist on seperate toys myself without the tests to show the disease free status of the parties involved.  Even then, as previous response have said, it's safest to use condoms where applicable.

But did he seriously bring in another person without asking you?  That's rather disrespectful.


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RE: Is it safe for toys to be used on Multiple partners? - 11/4/2007 9:37:08 PM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline
Yes.....they can be transferred.

Also....just because there is another person in this does not mean that it is actually poly....it also does not mean that you "have" to be inolved in what it is THEY do. Just because he may have another person in no way means that you have to participate or be involved in anything.

I would suggest having your own personal toys that are solely used on you.

If he is not responsible enough to take care of cleaning toys properly.....what makes you think he is responsible for taking care of you? your health? your life?

This is a no brainer for me.......but....that's me. *shrugz*

gooood luck!

~smilezz~

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RE: Is it safe for toys to be used on Multiple partners? - 11/5/2007 8:09:08 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline 		Yes it's possible to transmit diseases from person to person via a sex toy.  You can contract Hep C from sharing a shaving razor or kitchen utensils, for pete's sake.

The doctor's note isn't going to stop you from getting a yeast infection or anything else for that matter, viral communicable disease or not.  The only thing that will stop disease transmission is stopping the behavior!  Stop allowing shared toys to be used on you, period. 

Washing anything in cold water and dish soap doesn't freakin count.  A compromise on expensive ones would be to use pyrex or steel and be able to sterilize them, or use condoms and YOU take responsibility for cleaning the toys. 

The other issue at hand is your not wanting to be in a poly situation and accepting being forced into it.  Think very carefully about what you're doing....this is not good physically or mentally.

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RE: Is it safe for toys to be used on Multiple partners? - 11/5/2007 12:24:39 PM   
latexbarbiets


Posts: 93
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline 		Yeah toys are cheap, I NEVER use my toys on anyone else.

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RE: Is it safe for toys to be used on Multiple partners? - 11/5/2007 1:12:14 PM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		Oh, and one other thing... even IF the trainee produces a clean Dr's report, that doesn't mean it's going to stay that way. Everytime you add another person to your circle, you multiply your possible disease vectors. (This is a CDC rule of thumb, BTW, not just something I'm yanking out of my butt.) So unless you ALL are willing to get STD blood panels done every three months, or can otherwise PROVE you haven't been screwing around, you'll need to consider making the effort to incorperate full on safe sex paractices into your play.

Remember the game called "six degrees of seperation?" It takes on a whole new connotation when you apply it to STDs.

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RE: Is it safe for toys to be used on Multiple partners? - 11/5/2007 2:06:34 PM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		DO NOT share any sex toys with anyone...It is very unsafe!!!!
I make all my subs buy their own strapons and harnesses. I use them on the sub that owns thems...


Diane

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RE: Is it safe for toys to be used on Multiple partners? - 11/5/2007 2:30:23 PM   
LadySeraphina


Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline 		Personally, I condomize all my toys, whether or not they are used on multiple people. The ones that are used on multiple people are also washed with toy cleaner and hot water, dried, then placed in a UV sterilizer. Frankly, the $250 for a UV sterilizer is well worth it.

The bigger issue you have (okay, your health IS the biggest, in the scheme of things...) is what this fellow is doing in your relationship. I'd say adios, amigo.

Edited: okay, I made it sound like I don't wash ALL my toys. Of course I do, but the multiple-use ones are 100% always placed in the sterilizer.

< Message edited by LadySeraphina -- 11/5/2007 2:31:40 PM >

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RE: Is it safe for toys to be used on Multiple partners? - 11/5/2007 3:47:29 PM   
BootBlackBlast


Posts: 378
Joined: 10/23/2006
Status: offline 		Yeah, I'd seriously reevaluate your decision to be with Master Jerk, if he is opening your perceived closed relationship without discussing it with you and taking your feelings into account.

Sharing toys is a HUGE RED FLAG to me especially when it comes to insertables as I was an EMT and a firefighter. Working for a leading leather online retailer, we always recommend using dedicated toys for each play partner and except for my fluid bonded partner, all of the play I engage in uses silicone, metal, or pyrex insertables. All of which are dishwasher safe and boilable. I surface clean them, soak them in a 10% bleach solution for an hour, and then place them in an extra large pasta pot and boil them, dry them with a clean lint free shop towel, place each one in a ziploc baggy and return them to the toybag. I'm a bit obsessive when it comes to cleaning toys, but I don't want HIV, AIDS, or anything else for that matter. And I don't want my play partners to have them either. And yes I do have numerous play partners who are HIV+.

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RE: Is it safe for toys to be used on Multiple partners? - 11/5/2007 3:51:25 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		The STD test isn't the only issue.  You can get all types of germs and infections from toys and fluids.  Buy your own toys, take them there, take them home, clean them yourself and if this Dom/me doesn't listen to a legitimate health concern...well you know the rest of this don't you?  Take care of you, don't wait for someone else to do it for you.

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RE: Is it safe for toys to be used on Multiple partners? - 11/5/2007 4:01:55 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		First let me say this.................. ICK!!!

I'm in agreement. My subs buy their own toys and equipment, and they are only used on them. They are all kept in separate boxes or taken home. I also use a condom on anything that can have a condom on it. Cold water and a bit of liquid soap aint going to sterilise anything.

The more important part of the answer. Are you really sure you want to be with a man who disregards your feelings and health so blatantly? Because it doesn't sound like a good idea.

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RE: Is it safe for toys to be used on Multiple partners? - 11/6/2007 10:43:22 AM   
CrypticVisionz


Posts: 18
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline 		If you really want to stay with him, there are definitely considerations that need to be made on his part.  First of all, are you his collared property, or are you two just MOSTLY exclusive?  Secondly, If you still don't want to leave him, I'd make this an excuse (if your financially in the position to do so), to go Toy shopping.  I'd pick up two silicone toys, and make it perfectly clear to him that they are for YOU only.  If you need to hide them when you're not home or whatever, do what you need to do to ensure they are not used on this new trainee.  I understand your fears all too well, Poly, especially non-negotiated poly is a bitch and can have severe reprocussions if it's not addressed immediately.  I was in a poly relationship where the 3rd partner was only mostly aware of our activities, and when it was all brought to light, all hell broke loose.  So I guess your options are, Leave him to his new trainee, or get your own toys and negotiate that his cock is not inserted into this new person. 

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RE: Is it safe for toys to be used on Multiple partners? - 11/7/2007 5:26:49 AM   
John665623


Posts: 161
Joined: 2/25/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with all of the above comments.  Your own toys are best, condoms are second.  It also sounds like you and you dom need to talk about a few things.  Be safe and be happy. 

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RE: Is it safe for toys to be used on Multiple partners? - 11/8/2007 10:06:46 AM   
vtviceversa


Posts: 41
Joined: 1/13/2004
Status: offline 		I'll just add what others have said:

1. Use condoms on toys, period. Ideally, have your own, but short that, condoms. No condom = no use.
2. Hot water, for pete's sake. That's silly and stupid.
3. Additional cleaning/sterilizing methods.
4. No sharing of porous toys at all.

But I would suggest that being a sub does not mean and should NEVER mean that you somehow have to be submissive about health and safety issues. That's no longer a dom/sub, top/bottom matter, it's a selfish matter - your dom/top is being selfish as well as stupid.

Me? I'd leave.

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RE: Is it safe for toys to be used on Multiple partners? - 11/9/2007 11:52:29 AM   
ABMaster


Posts: 17
Joined: 3/9/2007
Status: offline 		GEEESH....there are two major issues here, both of which should cause you to pause and re-evaluate your relationship. You're not bound to someone for life, especially if he shows such a wanton disregard for your health and safety.

First of all, you most certainly can get a nasty STD by using a toy that's been inside someone else. You should have your own dedicated toys and, even then, clean them after use with something like 'safe suds'.

If your Master brought another girl into the picture, knowing how you feel about it, he is not showing you the respect and consideration that you deserve, especially when health and safety issues are concerned. Regardless of how you initially defined your relationship, the moment that your health and safety are jeopardized, you need to take immediate action to protect yourself, even if that means fleeing from the man. The duty of every Master is to protect his girl from harm, and he is not living up to his responsibility here, no matter how he might rationalize his behavior. If he persists in exposing you to these dangers, RUN.

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