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RE: Submitting for the first time - 11/14/2007 7:22:38 AM

CrazyC

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As long as you don't meet at some hotel on your first meeting and don't put yourself in a possition that you can't leave when you want, you can submit/play whenever you want. It is easy to be swept away with the excitement and not listen to your gut, so keep yourself in check.

LA, how does anyone get ready? I could have read tell I was blue in the face, and still wouldn't have been ready tell I just did it.

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RE: Submitting for the first time - 11/14/2007 12:05:09 PM

susie

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Joined: 11/21/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I think people should follow their gut and not a set time frame or number of meetings before play. Unless a person has terrible intuition, I think that it is better to follow what your instinct tells you. When I have followed my intuition it has never led me astray...

I agree with this totally. I think it is impossible to set a time or number of meets for anyone but yourself. I met my Master having spoken to him online for about 2 weeks. We agreed that I would book a hotel room near to him and we would play on the first meet. It was instinct that said I could trust him and it worked perfectly. That was over 3 years ago and we have lived together now for 2 and half years and are very happy.

Whatever you do go with what feels right for you. That does mean YOU and not the person you are chatting with. Do not let yourself be bullied into doing something if you do not feel you are comfortable with the situation.

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RE: Submitting for the first time - 11/14/2007 3:57:48 PM

pinksugarsub

Posts: 1224
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub26

Hi, i'm new around here, and this is the first time I've posted anything.
I have a question... how many times should a sub meet with a Dom/me they met online before she/he submits to him/her?
Is one meet ok? Should it be more? I'd just like some views please.

By 'submit' i assume you mean 'have sex or play'. Submission to me indiicates a collar, and you should think long and hard about that as you would any other relationship of great depth.

i don't have sex or play on the first meeting -- except once. i had been speaking to Him for six months by phone and had a false sense of intimacy with Him. Nothing bad happened but i wouldn't do it again; only real life meetings give me enough cues about a P/person.

pinksugarsub

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RE: Submitting for the first time - 11/16/2007 11:38:59 PM

hisdevotedtoy

Posts: 17
Joined: 8/17/2007
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It depends on the person, don't bother submitting if you don't feel the chemistry. If the chemistry is there... i don't feel there is anything wrong with going with your comfort level. I wouldn't recommend putting yourself in a compromising situation, i would pay attention, but if all feels right, and good... then there really is no set time limit...

Even a thousand meetings and a thousand phone calls does not ensure a perfect experience... go with your intuition.

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RE: Submitting for the first time - 11/17/2007 5:40:35 AM

esmerelda

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Joined: 11/16/2007
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i agree with hisdevotedtoy, u aint gonna know until you meet Him in truth. i took a lot of risks when i met Master, He was travelling a long way to see me and staying in my house, we had talked and argued occasionally online for nearly 2 years but the first time we met in the flesh is the first time i submitted to Him. Don't think either of us would have done it any different but there are massive risks in doing something like that!

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RE: Submitting for the first time - 11/17/2007 7:56:19 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I think people should follow their gut and not a set time frame or number of meetings before play. Unless a person has terrible intuition, I think that it is better to follow what your instinct tells you. When I have followed my intuition it has never led me astray...

I agree with this totally. I think it is impossible to set a time or number of meets for anyone but yourself. I met my Master having spoken to him online for about 2 weeks. We agreed that I would book a hotel room near to him and we would play on the first meet. It was instinct that said I could trust him and it worked perfectly. That was over 3 years ago and we have lived together now for 2 and half years and are very happy.

Whatever you do go with what feels right for you. That does mean YOU and not the person you are chatting with. Do not let yourself be bullied into doing something if you do not feel you are comfortable with the situation.

Likewise Daddy and I played the first time we met, although we spent hours and hours doing other stuff before we played... it still ended up that way. I think I knew the moment I looked into his eyes that we were going to though

That was 18 months ago, and I am not saying we have not had our issues because of the distance, but I will never regret what we have and I am so very glad I trusted my instinct the very first time I met him... it is a beautiful memory.

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RE: Submitting for the first time - 11/17/2007 9:11:37 AM

winterlight

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Joined: 2/18/2006
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take your time and do a background check. It is better to be safe than sorry. Find out if anybody knows Him and what HIs reputation is.

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RE: Submitting for the first time - 11/17/2007 2:02:12 PM

serenitee

Posts: 13
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Submit when you feel comfortable. This isn’t something you want to regret later on down the road. Submitting to a Dominant can be the most rewarding feeling that you’ll ever experience. Trust is so important for a D/s relationship and you'll know deep down when it is time to fully submit.

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RE: Submitting for the first time - 11/18/2007 12:52:52 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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It's an individual thing. How many times would you meet a man/woman before you slept with him/her? Mostly, people recommend getting to know someone who will immobilze you a bit more than that. Sex is one thing. Sex tied up with implements that can harm you (which is different than hurting you) nearby is another.

Master Fire

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