Dom/sub Switch Plate (Full Version)

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cheekybottom -> Dom/sub Switch Plate (8/4/2005 4:38:00 PM)

Has anyone ever given any thought as to what it might be like to observe a room full of switches from a two way mirror, how they might interact with one another? So and so feels rather Dominant when standing next to the petite female in the corner but when he moves across the room and stands next to the women wearing the glasses his submissiveness begins to show and when he he’s leisurely resting up against a wall between two other >insert gender(s)< he finds that he could go either way. I realize this might not be as confusing as it sounds since they are the ones gauging their chemistry against another but it is a curiosity of mine in how one determines which way the wind blows.

When browsing profiles (not necessarily on this site) I have noticed that male switches tend to select photographs of them exhibited in submissive fashion more so than in a Dominating role. However they tend to describe themselves more Dominantly unless illustrating their most memorable scene which is generally about submission than control. Why do you suppose this is? Are they so caught up in a man’s world and its pressures that when they submit this is what stands out/are these moments too few and far between or is it because this is the orientation in which they identify best/most with?

Do you feel that being a switch is about orientation or the enjoyment of contrasting sensations?

As a submissive does it ever turn you off or make you wonder if the switch that you met for coffee is capable of Dominating you in the manner you prefer? Has this lack of reassurance prevented you from going further in the relationship?

If you are Switch flipped on Dom mode and are with a submissive have you ever felt that they could easily Dominate or wished that they were interested in doing so? Has this limitation ever stopped you from perusing this relationship?

~d~



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Dom/sub Switch Plate (8/4/2005 4:52:57 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: cheekybottom

Has anyone ever given any thought as to what it might be like to observe a room full of switches from a two way mirror, how they might interact with one another?


Most of our parties and family get togethers are just that. Though we don't have many actual dom/sub switches, almost everyone is more than happy to both top and bottom.

quote:

Why do you suppose this is? Are they so caught up in a man’s world and its pressures that when they submit this is what stands out/are these moments too few and far between or is it because this is the orientation in which they identify best/most with?

Makes sense to me.
quote:


Do you feel that being a switch is about orientation or the enjoyment of contrasting sensations?

A full switch to me is orientation. But "switching" or being top or bottom is more about the activity and sensations.
quote:


As a submissive does it ever turn you off or make you wonder if the switch that you met for coffee is capable of Dominating you in the manner you prefer? Has this lack of reassurance prevented you from going further in the relationship?

Nope, I just let the relationship form organically, we learn to relate to eachother as we do. I mean not every sub relates well to every dom, the same is true for switches, each individual has their own style which needs to be matched with another individual.
quote:


If you are Switch flipped on Dom mode and are with a submissive have you ever felt that they could easily Dominate or wished that they were interested in doing so? Has this limitation ever stopped you from perusing this relationship?

~d~

LOL the boyfriend and my Boston partner and I have all had those "but we both want to bottom!" days and it can be cumbersome at times. But that's just play, not the relationship. Sometimes both people in a relationship want to watch a different movie, you get over it.





cheekybottom -> RE: Dom/sub Switch Plate (8/4/2005 5:06:03 PM)

quote:

Are they so caught up in a man’s world and its pressures that when they submit this is what stands out/are these moments too few and far between or is it because this is the orientation in which the identify best with?


If they identify best with this orientation then why not admit that they are submissive instead of label themselves as a switch?

>subliminal message<
Destroy label maker, destroy label maker, destroy label maker…

~d~



dominmd -> RE: Dom/sub Switch Plate (8/4/2005 6:00:34 PM)

Even though I have been a sub and enjoy it perfectly well, I still like being in the Dom role.

As a sub which does not happen often, I can let go of all the control that I exert over my life and hand that control over to another person. This is how I was first introduced to BDSM. I like the feel of the helplessness and enjoy the caring that a Dom/Domme will give me before during and after a scene.

As a Dom, I like being able to control another person, bend them to my desires. And this is where the kindness, love, tenderness and control exihibit themselves from my personality. I like giving light and playful pain to a sub. I can give even more if she wants me to give her more pain as long as she enjoys it. I am a more sensual Dom than anything else. It is part of my nature that I hide and only let it be seen by someone who I really care about and trust.



darkinshadows -> RE: Dom/sub Switch Plate (8/5/2005 2:56:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cheekybottom

quote:

Are they so caught up in a man’s world and its pressures that when they submit this is what stands out/are these moments too few and far between or is it because this is the orientation in which the identify best with?


If they identify best with this orientation then why not admit that they are submissive instead of label themselves as a switch?

>subliminal message<
Destroy label maker, destroy label maker, destroy label maker…

~d~



Because calling themselves a switch is the skn they feel most comfortable in? Just because someone is 99% submissive 80% of the time - doesn't make them a submissive unless they want to be called such - as much as someone is 100% for 100% of the time. What matters is they are what they are - label be dammed. Edit to add , to me, it just shows a person who does not need to be restricted to others perceptions.

Peace and Love



DublinSwitch -> RE: Dom/sub Switch Plate (8/5/2005 3:26:54 AM)

I agree with the OP, it would be a great idea if I could be locked in a room with glass windows and studied by all those people that know that they are submissive or dominant. Maybe they could wear white coats as well, just like them scentificist fellas do.

I feel that this, and maybe some therapy, would really help me realise that I am really a submissive or dominant. It bugs the hell out of me that I just can't decide...I really think it's something of a personal failing.

I really spend a lot of sleepless nights worried that I am simply not accepting of the label of submissive or dominant, as you rightly point out cheekybottoms.

Getting a label matters to me, it would help me know who I am, and through this self-knowledge, you know, become a better person, and like maybe then I can help other people instead of being a selfish switch - I mean what sort of label is 'Switch' anyways??

Also you are so right, as soon as I meet anyone I think, god is this person going to dominate me? or will I dominate them? or will they dominate me? And then I get in a terrible muddle, it's so perceptive of you picking up on this lack of 'reassurance' in situations just like this.

I agree, it has spoiled so many potential relationships. But you know? its through reading super-perceptive posts like yours that I hope to find salvation, they really are a great help.

DublinSwitch
(some day, hopefully, to be known as DublinDom or DublinSub)



cheekybottom -> RE: Dom/sub Switch Plate (8/5/2005 5:07:44 AM)

quote:

I really spend a lot of sleepless nights worried that I am simply not accepting of the label of submissive or dominant, as you rightly point out cheekybottoms.


DublinSwitch: First and foremost I am not right about anything. How can I be when we are discussing sexual orientation/interests?

Since I have more dealings with males than females because of my sexual orientation I have become more aware of the male switch than the female switch and have noticed how they seem to lean more towards expressing their submission/interests through photographs and scene related discussions but speak in a Dominate manner. Theoretically at least in my mind, if you perceive yourself to be Switch then why isn’t a persons profile more balanced to reflect this division of interests between Dominance and submission? And based upon this division is it really about sexual orientation or having more to do with sensation play? dark~angle mentioned percentages reflecting orientation but I feel it has more to do with percentages in conjunction with sensation than the perception of who/what you are in that given moment.

quote:

Getting a label matters to me, it would help me know who I am, and through this self-knowledge, you know, become a better person, and like maybe then I can help other people instead of being a selfish switch - I mean what sort of label is 'Switch' anyways?


Labels shouldn’t matter: “Destroy Label Maker.” Yes it helps to know who you are, but putting a sticker across your forehead that reads Dominant or submissive doesn’t make it so. DublinSwitch: It is okay if you don’t know, what isn’t okay is if you are doing something that doesn’t feel right to YOU.

We need words because they help define our thoughts and aide us in specific classification from fruit to something more precise like an apple or banana and so we’ve come up with Switch which is better than labeling/condemning a person to something that they aren’t.

There is intimacy with play and through play you can experience different sensations being a Switch more so than as a Dominant or submissive however based on my limited perception of Switching it seems as though this would prevent you from bonding long term rather than short term or the time it would take you to play/scene unless perhaps it is with another Switch or Dominant/submissive couple as the third party.

~d~



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Dom/sub Switch Plate (8/5/2005 8:59:47 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: cheekybottom

There is intimacy with play and through play you can experience different sensations being a Switch more so than as a Dominant or submissive however based on my limited perception of Switching it seems as though this would prevent you from bonding long term rather than short term or the time it would take you to play/scene unless perhaps it is with another Switch or Dominant/submissive couple as the third party.

~d~

Reverting back to one of my favorite statements- if you can imagine it, it exists. Some people out there are living it and VERY happy about it.




Moleculor -> RE: Dom/sub Switch Plate (8/5/2005 1:08:42 PM)

Yes, for me as a switch, I tend to slip into whatever role I feel most comfortable in at the moment. Though someone trying to "top" me may find that my particular mood at the moment is to "top" right back.

However... A room full of switches? Hah. Yeah, that's a dream that'll never come true.



nella -> RE: Dom/sub Switch Plate (8/5/2005 1:49:21 PM)

i am submissive, but am also sadistic so i might feel in the mood to Top somone in the right setting. Do that make me a switch? i do not know, and i try not to care.



verynaughty -> RE: Dom/sub Switch Plate (8/17/2005 9:04:48 PM)

You are a very charming woman with a very outgoing personality. Stay that classy person that you are,and dont let anyone steer you wrong. Take Care.[:)]



Sabella -> RE: Dom/sub Switch Plate (8/18/2005 6:33:59 AM)

Dom/sub Switch Plate this caught my eye, I thought it was gonna be a question about light switch plate covers, I'd never seen one & was curious. ROFL. Maybe along the lines of Bondage Kitty or something with little floggers & ropes on it! Whohooo! I'm disappointed now. Dernit.



tecaraLT -> RE: Dom/sub Switch Plate (8/18/2005 12:17:34 PM)



I never really have understood the concept of switch not in a D/s format. In BDSM yah maybe.

I see myself as a submissive, with slave tendencies towards my partner, but I can top with the best of them, but my topping has nothing to do with doming. I love the toys, I love giving the different sensations.

Maybe I'm off base... maybe that does make me a switch??



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Dom/sub Switch Plate (8/18/2005 12:26:10 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tecaraLT

Maybe I'm off base... maybe that does make me a switch??

To me, no. I'm a slave who tops and "takes a dominant role" in relationships. But I don't consider myself to BE a dominant, so not a switch.

But others may feel differently. That's why my answer is "I'm a slave who tops, take that as you will."



IronBear -> RE: Dom/sub Switch Plate (8/18/2005 12:41:55 PM)

To thicken the plot, let me add this to the stew..

Had a friend who was a switch, bisexual, and a cross dresser. It was interesting to see how all the various personalities came out. When in a confrontation with an Alpha Male, his reactions were akin to a 13 year old girl with her first period. Yet at other times he was every part a Master. He didn’t look half bad in women’s gear either. I’d hate to have to deal with the emotional roller coaster he had to face



bladerunner5 -> RE: Dom/sub Switch Plate (9/4/2005 8:25:33 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Moleculor

Yes, for me as a switch, I tend to slip into whatever role I feel most comfortable in at the moment. Though someone trying to "top" me may find that my particular mood at the moment is to "top" right back.

However... A room full of switches? Hah. Yeah, that's a dream that'll never come true.


Moleculor, you need to come to the west coast. It's wall-to-wall switches out here especially in the Pacific Northwest, and very few of us care about the "fence-sitting" accusations. :)


Me, I top, I bottom, I sub, I once in a long while dom, I'm pansexual, and I got kinks that confuse even the people who know me. I'm really lucky in that in my community, there aren't very many people who insist I have to "decide" what I *really* am. I'm Me. Deal with it or don't. To make it even more interesting, I top very few of the same things I bottom to. And while I don't identify as A Dom/me, a couple of people have pushed that button in me and it's worked out nicely for a while.


Bladerunner

Wenn irh's nicht fuhlt, ihr werdet's nicht erjagen.
--Goethe




FTopinMichigan -> RE: Dom/sub Switch Plate (9/5/2005 6:54:46 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: cheekybottom

When browsing profiles (not necessarily on this site) I have noticed that male switches tend to select photographs of them exhibited in submissive fashion more so than in a Dominating role. However they tend to describe themselves more Dominantly unless illustrating their most memorable scene which is generally about submission than control. Why do you suppose this is? Are they so caught up in a man’s world and its pressures that when they submit this is what stands out/are these moments too few and far between or is it because this is the orientation in which they identify best/most with?



My favored partner is the Dom that bottoms, and I have enjoyed scenes, and relationships with "switches," but many tend to identify only by their "dominant" role, if publicly asked.

I have encountered quite a few submissive men that identify as a "switch" and take on the role...or better yet "play" the role of a Dom. They have confided that they only top women in order to at least get some action, as female Top/Dommes are rare. They have taken on "the role," opposite of their desire, to at least enjoy some aspects of what they enjoy, and many actually think they will get sub ladies to top them, after they've established a relationship. (How many submissive ladies are asked to top a Dom?)

In my local community, the submissive male is not looked upon very favorably by all. We are fortunate to have a ClubFem chapter here, where submissive men can enjoy themselves without the threat of judgement by others.

I find there is no more a confident man than one that is able to realize and express both sides of himself. And, as I said earlier, a Dom that bottoms really is my favored partner.

I think the stereotypes of society are dictating how men "should" act, and that many men hide their sub/bottom side. I think they are fooling themselves, and many times I've seen some not even realizing the implications of their profile photos, or that their submissive tendencies are showing through loud and clear.

I don't think it's too hard to figure this type out though, and most ladies, whether Domme or sub will see through the "switch." A "switch" is not a bad thing! [;)]

I tend to see it as a confidence issue, as well as accepting one's self, whether it be in a dominant role, a submissive one, or to even enjoy both.

K



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