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just some random thoughts for the masses - 11/4/2007 2:55:51 PM   
Clingbing


Posts: 8
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		hello A/all
i have been comming to this site for a little while now, and was thinking to myself, is it right for me?

i am learning new things about myelf and i am very eager to see if this is the life style for me.

i find myself enjoying things that may be considered submisive. i have yet to try any of these things in real life. i figured i will start here and a few other sites on the web and go from there.

i have found a few Dominant women local to me but, not much has panned out.

so i am trying to figure out if the things i am enjoying (humiliation, forced to wear panties,strap on fantsy...just to name a few) are things that i will enjoy in real time. or if they are just kinky things i enjoy right now online. i guess it will be a learning process.

anyone have any thoughts?

If i have posted this in the wrong fourm, i'm sorry.

thank Y/you.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: just some random thoughts for the masses - 11/4/2007 3:53:01 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		Your wanting  people to validate things you may have an intrest in yet have not tried ? how are we to know if you shall like something you  yourself have not experianced ?I do not know you  but i shall tell you make sure you find a trustworthy partner . Things like strap on play are NOT  done just by strappin it on and ramming it home to the first timmer .There is a huge differance in OL role play and say a real face to face humiliation scene .One can not experiance a flogger or single tail  to tier flesh online . My suggestion is take it slow and  learn all you can and be safe .
Best wishes  on your journey

(in reply to Clingbing)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: just some random thoughts for the masses - 11/4/2007 3:58:00 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		Well, it sounds like you need to visit a ProDomme. There are very few Dommes going to bother spending time doing things to you that MIGHT be what you're into.

Submissiveness isn't just about you, it's about HER too. All you talk about it what you fantasise about sexually. Try paying someone, because as sure as the sky is blue, no ones going to have any interest in what you're "offering" here.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


(in reply to azropedntied)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: just some random thoughts for the masses - 11/4/2007 4:02:25 PM   
MistressPurpleFL


Posts: 112
Joined: 10/2/2005
Status: offline 		That actually may not be true as long as he is honest about what he is seeking there may be some Dominant women who are new to the scene and it would be better for them to practice with him since he is not expecting much and wants to learn.

_____________________________

"Life is too short to stay in the missionary position" By Mistress PurpleFL

"Nothing caresses like a suede whip in my hand; now let me touch you all over." Be me

"Smile at me with your eyes as you KNEEL to serve me with your HEART!" By me

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: just some random thoughts for the masses - 11/4/2007 4:39:06 PM   
Clingbing


Posts: 8
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		hmmmm....again...i'm not sure if this is right for me...i think i said that..

and it was just random thoughts. i do like the feed back.
i'm still learning and these are all good things to keep in mind.

i look foward to to learning and growing.

thank you again.

(in reply to MistressPurpleFL)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: just some random thoughts for the masses - 11/4/2007 4:55:01 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		there is a Fetish for everything and i am sure more than one person in the world who also digs it . I see no need for a pro here , but stick with the origional though of  lots of  further education and maybe the  protocol shall make its presance known in time aswell . 

(in reply to Clingbing)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: just some random thoughts for the masses - 11/4/2007 5:07:21 PM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		Well, being only recently active to the lifestyle, I've found that I enjoy all of my fantasies...thus far.  However, I've also learned to enjoy quite a few of my Owner's tastes that I never, ever thought I'd enjoy.  However, I went into them with an open mind...  One aspect I believe that's important in any Slave/Submissive is the ability to be openminded and willing to allow yourself to be molded.  That's, of course, just my personal perspective.

You should be ready to enjoy your fantasies, and MORE than willing to take part in your partners.

(in reply to azropedntied)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: just some random thoughts for the masses - 11/4/2007 5:27:21 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		I think what TN is trying to say, and I agree, is don't assume that being online and getting into some chatrooms or private chat and acting out a few fantasies is all this lifetyle is about.  Often new boys come in with the idea that this is an easy road to getting some kinky itches scratched, and it is much more than that.  As said, it is quite different in real time, and too many never get out from behind the safety of the computer monitor.
Your profile is honest and okay for what it is.  Just don't be disappointed if you write to Ladies in your area with wrong assumptions.  Finding these boards and participating is a good first step.  You can get a good education in all the aspects of this lifestyle and figure out, as you move along, just where you might fit in.
In other words, don't assume that because I (or any FemDom) have an ad, I(or any one of us is/) am open to chat and cyber play.  That is a big mistake lots of boys make, and then they come to these boards and complain about all the "fakes".
There are layers and layers of things to learn and it all takes time.  You should also check to see if there are any munches close to you.  It is always advisable to get out into real time and meet people.  Munches are safe, no play, and a good way to actually begin meeting people who are active in D/s, M/s and BDSM.
Welcome to the boards...hope you stick around..

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to Clingbing)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: just some random thoughts for the masses - 11/4/2007 7:46:12 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		i Fell i should also add  hold no agendas , not planning out your explorations like a menu in an eatery ordering up this experiance with a side dish of this and that .Once you have found a trusting safe experianced partner allow them to drive giving  honest feedback .Having expectaions can also give you let downs , like i expected you to do this then that activity instead of enjoying what you did get . best wishes upon your journey .

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: just some random thoughts for the masses - 11/5/2007 7:19:26 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Clingbing

hmmmm....again...i'm not sure if this is right for me...i think i said that..


If you still aren't convinced it's right for you, it probably isn't. 

You have to want it for yourself and truly desire to get involved.  We're not here to "convince" or sell it to you.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to Clingbing)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: just some random thoughts for the masses - 11/5/2007 4:40:20 PM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		Lots of people drift into their local scene, take a look and conclude that its not for them.

Maybe you just need an adventurous girlfriend.  Take it slowly and keep an open mind. 

Sometimes when you love someone, you love their kinks even though they were never the kinks you thought you would love......its a funny journey


_____________________________

<----- Corset, mask and collar designed and manufactured by metalsmith Karl H, chromed and lined in black suede. Masks and collars available from http://www.lucreziadesade.com.au/default.html. Corsets custom made only

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: just some random thoughts for the masses - 11/5/2007 5:04:05 PM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline 		Clingbing,

I will applaud you for asking the question. Everyone of us has started where you are now - "I think this is something I want, but I have not tried it yet - so how do I know?"

There are several directions you can go with it - a pro is a good choice, you generally have more control over what your experience will be like. Finding someone who will train you online will be less satisfying ultimately than a r/t experience - but it may answer a few of your questions, and of course you can search for a Domme who will take you on as a complete novice.

I find your questions to be a good sign. No one can truly know what will play out in a fantasy - pain, humiliation, servitude, whatever is much different in real time than in your mind. You may find some things are more wonderful than your mind can conceive, and other things more distasteful than you would have expected.

In my journey the longing to find out what the reality would be like was by far more painful than any bad experiences I have had. The reality of finally finding my "one" perfect submissive brings me more joy than I can begin to describe. The journey included some near misses, some total failures, and some wonderful "for the time that it lasted" experiences.

I strongly encourage you to wade through the negativity that you may experience - and come out on the other side with your questions answered. For those of us that need BDSM to feel completed - it is worth every step on the path to come out on the other side.

I wish you much success, wherever the path leads you.


_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."


(in reply to Clingbing)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: just some random thoughts for the masses - 11/5/2007 7:02:03 PM   
CollegeConundrum


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline 		Getting a pro-domme is the worst idea ever.  You've going to shill out 300 bucks to do things you MIGHT like?  Hello, give me that 300 and I'll invest it in some stocks that MIGHT make you money.

If you think it's for you, you wait for a woman who will be patient with you and who will act as a guide and respect the fact that you're new and curious about this lifestyle.  do not settle.  so many women here are unwilling to be patient and they think because they are experienced, they have some sort of entitlement to having an experienced submissive.  That's fine but to shit on the newbies, the way they do, and then wonder why so many men AND women are unwilling tp embrace this lifestyle and these websites is absurdly laughable.

(in reply to Cloudz)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: just some random thoughts for the masses - 11/5/2007 7:29:06 PM   
FullfigRIMaam


Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Clingbing
hmmmm....again...i'm not sure if this is right for me...i think i said that..

and it was just random thoughts. i do like the feed back.
i'm still learning and these are all good things to keep in mind.

i look foward to to learning and growing.
As you aren't sure what you like or dislike, I agree with MissMagnolia that paying someone to play and figure out without committing to anything more than a start/safeword/stop time is a great idea in my opinion as well.    M


_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." Erich Fromm

(in reply to Clingbing)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: just some random thoughts for the masses - 11/5/2007 8:01:41 PM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		If I had to start off by meeting a Pro, I would never have gotten in it...and I would have been extremely unfulfilled as a person for it.  I don't think it's unreasonable for you to find somebody willing to train somebody inexperienced.

(in reply to FullfigRIMaam)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: just some random thoughts for the masses - 11/5/2007 11:23:01 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CollegeConundrum

If you think it's for you, you wait for a woman who will be patient with you and who will act as a guide and respect the fact that you're new and curious about this lifestyle.  do not settle.  so many women here are unwilling to be patient and they think because they are experienced, they have some sort of entitlement to having an experienced submissive.  That's fine but to shit on the newbies, the way they do, and then wonder why so many men AND women are unwilling tp embrace this lifestyle and these websites is absurdly laughable.


I'm sorry, but we're under no obligation, simply because we've taken the plunge and gained vast experiences to have to take on every novice that wanders down the pike and wants a kink exploratorium.  If so many vanilla explorers weren't out there treating women like they're a ride at the carnival, you'd probably not have so many femdoms saying "no novices", myself included.  It'd be more disrespectful for the novices to take them on, use them and toss them out because we're really not looking for a novice, wouldn't it?  Some women like to mold and shape a novice, others don't.  It's no different than the tastes that you gentlemen have in what you seek.  Women have the right to seek out what will fulfill their lives, just as much as you gentlemen who have the right to seek out what you desire (kink exploration, kinky sex, or submission in the context of a relationship) in whatever venue will willingly accomodate you.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to CollegeConundrum)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: just some random thoughts for the masses - 11/5/2007 11:27:07 PM   
CollegeConundrum


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora
I'm sorry, but we're under no obligation, simply because we've taken the plunge and gained vast experiences to have to take on every novice that wanders down the pike and wants a kink exploratorium.  If so many vanilla explorers weren't out there treating women like they're a ride at the carnival, you'd probably not have so many femdoms saying "no novices", myself included.  It'd be more disrespectful for the novices to take them on, use them and toss them out because we're really not looking for a novice, wouldn't it? 


The only flaw in this logic is you're describing a guy, who could be a novice or a well-experienced man.

Furthering my point that novices get a bad rap.  Theoretically I've been learning about this lifestyle longer than I should have been but because I'm 25, I automatically get tagged with the "novice" rap.

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: just some random thoughts for the masses - 11/5/2007 11:44:01 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CollegeConundrum

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora
I'm sorry, but we're under no obligation, simply because we've taken the plunge and gained vast experiences to have to take on every novice that wanders down the pike and wants a kink exploratorium.  If so many vanilla explorers weren't out there treating women like they're a ride at the carnival, you'd probably not have so many femdoms saying "no novices", myself included.  It'd be more disrespectful for the novices to take them on, use them and toss them out because we're really not looking for a novice, wouldn't it? 


The only flaw in this logic is you're describing a guy, who could be a novice or a well-experienced man.

Furthering my point that novices get a bad rap.  Theoretically I've been learning about this lifestyle longer than I should have been but because I'm 25, I automatically get tagged with the "novice" rap.


Um, no.  Novices get the tag from me when they state they have no tangible BDSM experience, or have only had one encounter, or because they self-identify as a novice.  They could be a worldly CEO but if they don't have tangible BDSM experience, they're still a novice -- thinking about performing brain surgery doesn't qualify you to open a cranium.  While BDSM isn't brain surgery, it's a suitable comparison in context, because you really don't know the lay of the land and all that it entails physically as well as mentally until you're really engaged in it. 

I've been a mentor and educator long enough to understand the difference between a 23 year old who has been involved since he was 18, and a 45 year old who has masturbated to kinky thoughts for his entire adult life and never taken the plunge until his approach to me via email.  I don't consider that 23 year old to be a novice, although there are alot of dominas out there that would just because of his age.  Ironically, do you know who is more likely to misrepresent his experience?  The 45 year old. 

Age has little to do with "experience" unless it's impacting them because of their inability to access RT BDSM venues for the 18-21 crowd.  Age factors into maturity, and that's an entirely different factor that women desire in a relationship.

We've ALL been novices at some course in our journey. 

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to CollegeConundrum)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: just some random thoughts for the masses - 11/6/2007 1:36:33 AM   
CollegeConundrum


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora
The only flaw in this logic is you're describing a guy, who could be a novice or a well-experienced man.

Furthering my point that novices get a bad rap.  Theoretically I've been learning about this lifestyle longer than I should have been but because I'm 25, I automatically get tagged with the "novice" rap.


Um, no.  Novices get the tag from me when they state they have no tangible BDSM experience, or have only had one encounter, or because they self-identify as a novice.  They could be a worldly CEO but if they don't have tangible BDSM experience, they're still a novice -- thinking about performing brain surgery doesn't qualify you to open a cranium.  While BDSM isn't brain surgery, it's a suitable comparison in context, because you really don't know the lay of the land and all that it entails physically as well as mentally until you're really engaged in it. 

I've been a mentor and educator long enough to understand the difference between a 23 year old who has been involved since he was 18, and a 45 year old who has masturbated to kinky thoughts for his entire adult life and never taken the plunge until his approach to me via email.  I don't consider that 23 year old to be a novice, although there are alot of dominas out there that would just because of his age.  Ironically, do you know who is more likely to misrepresent his experience?  The 45 year old. 

Age has little to do with "experience" unless it's impacting them because of their inability to access RT BDSM venues for the 18-21 crowd.  Age factors into maturity, and that's an entirely different factor that women desire in a relationship.

We've ALL been novices at some course in our journey. 


I don't quite understand why or how you thought I was referencing how you categorize people.  My point was when you talk about people who email you and treat you like a dog or people who hook up with a few times and then leave, that could be anybody not necessarily a novice.  So what does that have to do with who you consider a novice?  NOTHING.

I also didn't specify you "tagged" people a certain way.  It was a generalization to the reaction I get when I contact people of a certain thought-process.  You are clearly of that thought-process.


(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: just some random thoughts for the masses - 11/6/2007 6:04:59 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CollegeConundrum

I don't quite understand why or how you thought I was referencing how you categorize people.  My point was when you talk about people who email you and treat you like a dog or people who hook up with a few times and then leave, that could be anybody not necessarily a novice.  So what does that have to do with who you consider a novice?  NOTHING.

I also didn't specify you "tagged" people a certain way.  It was a generalization to the reaction I get when I contact people of a certain thought-process.  You are clearly of that thought-process.


Oh I dunno, perhaps it was your kneejerk reaction to what I said!  Sorry I'm not a mindreader and couldn't read that you're bitter at other people who have not chosen you for whatever reason.  And I'm sorry they've made you that way.  You might want to look into the "90/10 Principle" by Steven Covey (you can google it) and that might give you a fresher view on....well, on life in general.  I'm done with the thread hijack.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to CollegeConundrum)
Profile   Post #: 20
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