Sub problems (Full Version)

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Domunorthants -> Sub problems (11/5/2007 7:53:31 AM)

I have recently started seeing a sub who says she has commited fully to me. However, although she changed her profile to show that she was serving me, she has changed it to show that she was not serving twice, and has only changed it back when I told her to.

Any ideas what I should do?



sexyred1 -> RE: Sub problems (11/5/2007 7:55:51 AM)

I don't see your profile stating that you are seeing anyone, why should she state that either?
Commitment is a two-way street, unless negotiated otherwise.



SoHott -> RE: Sub problems (11/5/2007 7:57:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domunorthants

I have recently started seeing a sub who says she has commited fully to me. However, although she changed her profile to show that she was serving me, she has changed it to show that she was not serving twice, and has only changed it back when I told her to.

Any ideas what I should do?


maybe, take the bitters with the sweets..?



RRafe -> RE: Sub problems (11/5/2007 7:57:50 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domunorthants

I have recently started seeing a sub who says she has commited fully to me. However, although she changed her profile to show that she was serving me, she has changed it to show that she was not serving twice, and has only changed it back when I told her to.

Any ideas what I should do?
 

Tell her to quit being such a selfish bitch. And that if she's fishing for a back up, she can't have her cake and eat it too.

Get some stones man-if she hasn't got what it takes to submit-you are better off without her.



MystressDream -> RE: Sub problems (11/5/2007 7:58:51 AM)

Is this an "online service" or real time? 

How long have you been "seeing her"?

Is there a collar involved?



Domunorthants -> RE: Sub problems (11/5/2007 8:19:01 AM)

It's an online thing, but we are looking to meet in the next week or so. I've been seeing her nearly every day for 2 weeks, and she has picked out a collar which she wants to wear



MystressDream -> RE: Sub problems (11/5/2007 8:25:43 AM)

You have been talking to her online for two weeks. 

She is picking out a collar. 

You haven't even met her.

Considering what I would actually like to say about this, I better defer to someone else who can be more tactful.  My only comments are...... This is "online".... Online is a fantasy.... A collar is a very serious comittment, and it shouldn't be made of velcro.

Edited to add:  Interesting that SHE is picking out the collar... because SHE wants to wear it.  Who is the Dom here?



SoHott -> RE: Sub problems (11/5/2007 8:37:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domunorthants

It's an online thing, but we are looking to meet in the next week or so. I've been seeing her nearly every day for 2 weeks, and she has picked out a collar which she wants to wear


this girl is in awe that u allow your slaves to choose their own collars. (just between us I would have liked something in silver with red coral studs...



chellekitty -> RE: Sub problems (11/5/2007 8:41:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MystressDream
<snip>

Edited to add:  Interesting that SHE is picking out the collar... because SHE wants to wear it.  Who is the Dom here?


the person in charge of the relationship is not always determined by title....



MystressDream -> RE: Sub problems (11/5/2007 9:17:23 AM)

chellekitty...

Then, IMO.... the titles, in this particular type of "relationship" are a sham.



KatyLied -> RE: Sub problems (11/5/2007 9:29:09 AM)

quote:

Any ideas what I should do?


Yeah, wait until you meet a few times in real life before deciding to collar and change profiles.  I don't blame her for not wanting to commit to you before meeting.  Also, some people don't like to live their lives through their profile, she may be one of those.



chellekitty -> RE: Sub problems (11/5/2007 10:22:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MystressDream

chellekitty...

Then, IMO.... the titles, in this particular type of "relationship" are a sham.


well....if they want to claim to be purple headed giraffes and call eachother Mr and Mrs President...who am i to judge their kink.....

edited for an errant "e"



Dnomyar -> RE: Sub problems (11/5/2007 10:46:07 AM)

I concur with MystressDream on this on. Sounds like 2 kids playing a game with each other.



susie -> RE: Sub problems (11/5/2007 11:11:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domunorthants

I have recently started seeing a sub who says she has commited fully to me. However, although she changed her profile to show that she was serving me, she has changed it to show that she was not serving twice, and has only changed it back when I told her to.

Any ideas what I should do?



You have been seeing her but you have not met yet? This is an online thing but she is fully committed?
Sounds like a lot of growing up needs to be done!

When I was looking to meet a Dom I chatted to a few people a couple of whom sounded perfect when I was chatting to them. When I actually met them in real life there was nothing there. We only ever met the once for coffee or lunch. Someone may sound perfect for you when it is online but real life is a whole different ball game.

So what should you do?
1. Wait to see if she actually turns up when you are supposed to meet
2. Wait to see if she does turn up she is actually what you thought she was
3. Don't even think about a collar until you have met in real life and discussed what you both really want from a relationship



RCdc -> RE: Sub problems (11/5/2007 11:26:14 AM)

Fully commited and you haven't met - only recently starting talking and you have been on the site less than a month.
Too many warning signs straight off - to commit to anything even before you have met is a big risk if you dont get along in real life - unless online is what you want.
 
I suggest you slow down - you sound as though you have frenzy to me - and you are not incontrol of the relationship either by your words.
 
the.dark.



came4U -> RE: Sub problems (11/5/2007 11:28:50 AM)

Agrees with everrrrrrrrything susie says ^ above.

It is online? Lordy, I have said on my profile that I adored a guy after mere hours..ooo my Master [8|].

Ya oooook.  Who in his right mind is going to believe that???  If he asked me to change my profile or wanted to meet after a few convos then hell, sure, it is worth the profile change for the hell of it.  Does a guy really believe I mean it? Um, ya, a few have LOL.  I especially love how they ask you to change a profile and they don't. I especially ham mine up for that type.

Why have interest in the easy to fall in internet (*coughs) love??



SoulPiercer -> RE: Sub problems (11/5/2007 11:34:59 AM)

Take a trip over to a "vanilla" dating site.

Look for all the profiles that say "not accepting emails", "dating Hunky SixPack" etc. etc.

You won't find many of them.

After 12 years I still don't get the whole "change your profile because you've been talking to the same person for 2 weeks" deal.

But if that's your thing, like RRafe said, act like you've got a pair.




hisannabelle -> RE: Sub problems (11/5/2007 11:47:07 AM)

greetings domunorthants,

i would question the whole idea of "full commitment" before having met in real life and having known each other only two weeks online. if i were entering into a new relationship, i would only change my profile after i was collared, and i would not expect that to happen before at least a month of real-life contact and getting to know each other very well...that's how our relationship worked at least, and we had already known each other in a vanilla context for several years beforehand. it seems like you are putting the cart a few miles ahead of the horse here.

respectfully,
annabelle.



Michaelsangel -> RE: Sub problems (11/5/2007 11:57:31 AM)

i totally agree with annabelle. Sir and i started out dating as a vanilla couple and after 6 months, we started talking about the lifestyle. It was 6 months after just talking about it  that we entered into a D/s relationship. We have been together for 5 years now as a D/s couple.

Michaelsangel



Maya2001 -> RE: Sub problems (11/5/2007 4:29:58 PM)

 A collar of ownership  is similiar in concept as a wedding  ring is in a vanilla context,  if you would not go out a buy a wedding  ring for girl you have never met and have only known 2 weeks, then you should not be buying a collar collar of ownership either.

The only collar you can even consider at this point of your relationship is a training collar  and it is not a symbol of ownership

Some info on collars here --> http://castlerealm.com/library/morecollars.shtml



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