|
MidnightMaiden -> What fuels your rocket? (11/5/2007 9:53:04 PM)
|
I see four aspects to most D/s or M/s relationships. Control/surrender, Service, Pain and Humiliation. I have been asking myself which of those do I get the most enjoyment out of, and after reading, I would love to hear what you get the most enjoyment out of.
Control/surrender is the most integral part of a D/s relationship, without submission there can be no dominance. I like the surrender, I like the freedom I feel.... but if I was in a relationship where I surrendered and my Dom wanted to do nothing more than eat ice cream out of my naval, I would be unsatisfied. Or if he only asked me to do things that didn't push me out of my comfort zone, then its kinda just vanilla with a few sprinkles in it. So whilst surrender is a part of it, its not all...
Service is the joy you get from pleasing your Master. This is a large part for me, knowing I have done a good job, hearing "I am proud of you" or "Good girl" gets my knickers wet, however if it were just the sheer joy of service that was my motivator, could I not do that in a nilla relationship? You could argue its the joy of serving "The One" but if you washed the kink out of him till he was nilla flavoured through and through would you still have the bond that you do? Service makes me very happy, but its not my high...
Pain, I am a self confessed pain slut. I love it, and for me its an important part of a D/s relationship, but not all pain sluts are submissives, I could just go have rough kinky sex in a relationship based on vanilla equality, and I still wouldn't feel complete. Pain gets me high, but as a solitary element, its not enough to make me happy...
Humiliation... that's where it lies for me. Why do I like to be humiliated? Why do I want to thrust out of my comfort zone? Because it makes me face my fears. When my master sets me a task that mortifies, makes me balk or blink or go WTF its like hitting a brick wall, and I can hit my head against it in the process of surrender, but he's like this huge safety net... and finally when I let go of my pride and my ego, when I drop that baggage, or stop listening to the taboos of society... when I let go... that's the greatest feeling on earth. It's getting over myself, and liking who I am for being able to do it (and loving him for enabling me to do it).
I wouldn't want a relationship based purely on humiliation, you can get that in a nilla life too, and on its own its abusive. But in the context of a loving D/s relationship, thats where I get my high.
How about you? Where is your high in your relationship? And be selfish! We all get joy from pleasing that's why we do it, but is that what fuels your rocket to get you to reach your highest place? (and its ok if it does) [:D]
|
|
|
|
