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RE: How do I know if I'd make a good sub - 11/7/2007 5:45:21 PM

CrazyC

Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
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I agree with LA. You cannot base wheather you are good by someone elses standards, or you will always be beating on yourself for not being "good" enough. Trust me it is a hard battle I fight, but coming to realize. Just because we didn't mesh or he wasn't ready for a relationship, doesn't mean I am bad....it just means he wasn't the right one or he was the right one for the moment.

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RE: How do I know if I'd make a good sub - 11/8/2007 6:38:39 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberpet

What is the difference between having the traits of a good sub and what constitutes a good sub? It is the same exact thing. You can't be who you are without traits. Selflessness, obedience, and showing respect to your dominant are some of the traits that make up a good sub. I just didn't realize that acknowledging positive characteristics like selflessness, obedience, and respect to your dominant would start such a negative uproar.

What we had here was a failure to communicate. Syntax - the number one killer of positive communication.

You're still insisting that these are universal traits that every sub should possess. They aren't. They are the traits that you need to possess to be a good fit with your mistress.

Forgetting about the gender differences for a moment, the traits you possess would make you a bad sub for The Man, just as the traits I possess would make me a bad sub for your mistress.

Saying these traits are universally valued is wrong. It would be just as wrong to say that all good subs are pain sluts because that assumes all tops are sadists.
If I extrapolated from my relationship, I could claim that all good subs must be bondage bunnies, because that's our major kink. But obviously that isn't true.

Saying these are the traits that make you a good sub to your mistress is one thing, announcing that everyone else must be exactly like you is something else.

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RE: How do I know if I'd make a good sub - 11/8/2007 7:00:03 AM

rubberpet

Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline

Let's just agree to diagree on this. Geez.

That's the beauty of an opinion...I have mine and you have yours.

Besides, I never said every sub should have these exact traits to be a good sub, nor did I say ever say that every sub has to be like me. Everyone is different just like every relationship is different.

< Message edited by rubberpet -- 11/8/2007 7:03:24 AM >

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RE: How do I know if I'd make a good sub - 11/8/2007 9:35:05 AM

whipingherfeet

Posts: 202
Joined: 10/26/2006
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JUST OBEY YOUR MASTER

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