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RE: Straight vs. Bisexual Dommes - 11/6/2007 2:39:07 PM   
PhoenixRed


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Joined: 10/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MystressDream

Ok... I think I better expound on my short answer entered earlier.... before someone calls me to task over the comment.  <grin> 

First of all, I am straight.  I am looking for a straight male slave/submissive.
I am bisexual, and I am looking for primarily bisexual male slaves/submissives.  However, my sexual orientation has nothing to do with who I am lookin for in a submissive.

In my experience, straight male slave/submissives have been hard to find.  The majority who I meet in real time, and online are bi-sexual.... or, say they are. 
Hee hee...in my experience, slaves/subs that are bi by orientation are hard to find.  More on that below.

I have never dismissed anyone or refused to converse with them based on that.  However, the majority of the time, eventually, the conversation gets around to their "need and desire" to be "forced" to have sex with another man.  Followed by, "You would arrange this for your slave, right, Ma'am?"
Yes, it gets to that point with me a lot too, but happens a lot sooner in the conversation (like the first e-mail) rather than down the road!  I think bi male slaves are looking to be with other men, since their orientation allows for that.  They hope that if you have more than one bi male sub, the two will be made to interact.  Heve the Domme pick play partners instead of trying to find a man to play with yourself...yup, that's some of it.  In my world, that can happen.  But that's at my discretion, and isn't guaranteed. 

My answer is no. First of all, I hate that "forced" crap.  You can't be "forced" to do something you want to do anyway.  Requesting that it be done kind of blows the whole "I must be forced" thing out the window, doesn't it?  Same thing with "forced feminization".  Face it... you want to do it.... therefore it is not a "forced" thing.  That would make it non-consentual anyway.
K, I do have a slight difference of opinion on this topic.  Some men are bisexual by orientation. They like interaction with other men, and don't have to be forced to do it.  However, there are bi-curious men that really don't know if they're bi by orientation.  For many of these men, having a Domme "force" them to interact with another male takes away the guilt, responsibility, etc. of having made the decision themselves.  Most of the time it is something they would never have sought out on their own.  In this context, they can see if it is something pleasurable to them or not.  Is that truly "forced bi" - not really. Finally, you have the other type of "forced bis".  These men are usually straight by orientation, but view being made to service another male as the epitome of humiliation and debasement to them - and true, that's their main kink, humiliation.  They don't like doing it, but will if their Domme demands it - in their minds many times, it the ultimate in obeying a Domme.  So, yes, in essence it's all consentual and in some way, shape or form, most of them do get something out of it for themselves.  If it's really something a man will not consider doing, he'll tell you it's one of his hard limits.  If he's of the latter category of "forced bi", he'll probably tell you it's one of his soft limits and that he really has to trust you to do it - otherwise, hard limit again.

I have also had contact with many males on here who list themselves as bi-sexual and then say they are not.  They have said they put that on their profiles because it's what "all Dommes" are looking for.  Then I ask them why they would lie about it, and they say, "Well, it gets some of them talking to me."  So much for starting out on a basis of trust and honesty.
Yup, lots of those!  Most are straight men that want to be fucked with a strap-on.  Not bi at all, just like anal sex.  You know guys, that's perfectly ok.  You can tell us that instead of saying you're bi!  Saves us all a lot of trouble!  Then if I tell them I want bi subs, all of a suddent they become forced bis that will do it if I command it.  Funny how that works.  A case of "foot in the door", methinks.

Guess what, guys?  I don't really care if you are bi-sexual, as long as you can put your desires for having sex with men aside if you wear my collar.  I have nothing against bi-sexual pleasures whatsoever, it's just not my thing.  I have observed it, and it does nothing for me.  Doesn't make it wrong.... just doesn't make it something I would be wanting to orchestrate in my life.  Part of that is because I require an exclusive sexual relationship with a slave.  Just me... <shrug>
You know exactly what you're looking for and are going after it.  I wish you much luck in your search.


Great post.  I wanted to comment on my own experience, as compared to what you have found, since I am looking primarily for bi male subs/slaves.  I've put my comments in bold above.

_____________________________

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(in reply to MystressDream)
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RE: Straight vs. Bisexual Dommes - 11/6/2007 2:51:06 PM   
CollegeConundrum


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cissykay1999.
My question is, are bisexual women interested in straight male subs?


If they weren't, they'd be lesbian women.

I do find they're exponentially more leery than straight females, especially online.

(in reply to Cissykay1999)
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RE: Straight vs. Bisexual Dommes - 11/6/2007 3:10:06 PM   
Cissykay1999


Posts: 61
Joined: 10/9/2007
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My thread, so I can say what I want. I love it. I've been away from collarme for some time, and I am now convinced that the intellectual level of the dommes has increased significantly. Thank you to all the dommes that have added to this thread. Your observations, and comments are delightful. Now, if I could only find a woman that likes old men who are straight, semi-intellegent, not a pain puppy, and wants to be treated as a lady, I'm in luck.

Thank you PhoenixRed, you and the other dommes that have given insightful comments have made my day. Hopefully, the ladies I have contacted personally, will give me the honor of responding, and maybe I can make some friends. Thanks to all.

(in reply to PhoenixRed)
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RE: Straight vs. Bisexual Dommes - 11/6/2007 5:42:54 PM   
LadyLegs


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MystressDream, it has als been my experience that bi submissive males often express a desire to be "enabled" to be with another man.  Not a service I provide either.

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RE: Straight vs. Bisexual Dommes - 11/6/2007 6:02:17 PM   
MystressDream


Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
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PhoenixRed,

Thank you.  I wish you well in your search also.  I haven't looked to see how to do that yet.... have the original post in a box to comment on it.  LOL

I guess, if nothing else, submissive men will see from these forums that we are looking for all types.  <smile>  I wish you well.

_____________________________

Knowledge and experience are wonderful things to share. When we stop asking questions, we might as well "hang it up".

check out: www.enclaveproductions.com
www.enclavewest.com

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RE: Straight vs. Bisexual Dommes - 11/6/2007 6:03:52 PM   
MystressDream


Posts: 345
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From: Colorado
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LadyLegs,

Thank you.  It's nice to know it's not just me who attracts those.  lol



_____________________________

Knowledge and experience are wonderful things to share. When we stop asking questions, we might as well "hang it up".

check out: www.enclaveproductions.com
www.enclavewest.com

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Straight vs. Bisexual Dommes - 11/6/2007 9:09:57 PM   
AMADF


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Joined: 7/15/2007
Status: offline
Im am bisexual and have had male and female subbmisives before. Each sex has his own wonderfull things, and cannot be compared. In my personal case i dont ask the same task to men that to woman, since they are clearly different. I dont know in the rest of the cases but in my case i dont see wheres the threat.

For me its a plus is my parthner is also bi, since the game possibilityes increases in a very nice way :D also feel ok if theyre bisexual since i know they have try both sides and know that they can be very flexible in their behave (people sexual acttitude change when  are being fucked by someone of their same sex. Mens act different  if being fuckeb by woman than  by a men and same thing to girls)

So i thing being bi at some point its not only bad, but actually give us a bigger picture. This is not a critic to heterosexual people, cause as i matter of fact i will marry one next year :) my boyfriend sub is straight. Me and my boyfriend  live a nice 24-7 relation and he is very ok with that.

I do train hin anally cause i love strap on game, but i respect the fact that his nos willing to fuck with man (we make jockes about that in fact the only cock that will suck is my big dildo, wich actually he likes to suck since i get very horny and  mostly after that ask him to suck my ass wich he absolutely loves)

The fact that he is straight doesnt have to limit his needs or mines: we have talked my bi preference from the begginig and he knows im looking for a fem sub also and he is very ok. As a matter of fact she has knows m previous fem slaves and hes very polite with her.  He have spend long periods of times before and during those times i just go away sometimes to have my own private parties with womans. I go back very horny and he is happy cause im satified. Hes also clever enough to respect my bisexuality and never imply that he want to see me and female subs in action (i dont know why mens are so unconfortable with men bisexuality but ALWAYS so horny and voyerist when it comes to female bisexuality)

As resume: if a i have bi subs i make big party with all of them at the same time, otherwise i have the hell of parties with each sex at a time. Having sessions with mens and womans its so fun by itself that in my case dont necesarry need to mixed them at same session to be happy.

Hope this helps you

(in reply to MystressDream)
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RE: Straight vs. Bisexual Dommes - 11/6/2007 9:11:54 PM   
BDSMMike


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hey every 1

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Straight vs. Bisexual Dommes - 11/6/2007 9:55:49 PM   
PhoenixRed


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You are most welcome, dear Lady.  Looks like we both run into the same problem, just from opposite ends of the spectrum.  I also hope that those that read this forum will be somewhat enlightened by the responses.

BTW....instead of clicking on "reply" in the upper right, click on "quote".  The whole quote will appear and you can edit or add to it from there. :)

_____________________________

Everyone deserves a break from the person everyone else expects them to be.
In the great experiment known as evolution, evidently there are some people who's ancestors were in the control group.

(in reply to MystressDream)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Straight vs. Bisexual Dommes - 11/6/2007 9:58:58 PM   
LadyHugs


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Joined: 1/1/2004
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Dear Cissykay1999, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
For me, it is much to do about preferences.  I have been in the delights of being a Heterosexual woman with a Gay Male slave early on in my lifestyle journey.  I think that the success came from the fact 'gender/sex' wasn't the real issue but, the wrapping around the entire individual as a whole and how the relationship as Master-slave would work for 'us.'
 
This did not tamper with my slave's Gay state.  It did not tamper with my Heterosexual tendencies.  Intercourse was something I really didn't need when I had much more from the relationship and the exchange of energy, power, authority, dominance, security, acceptance and how we lifted each other and maintained each other in a mental, emotional and spiritual sense that it worked for us.  I have often joked, that I am a Gay man trapped in a Heterosexual woman's body.
 
Once past the conventional style of looking at gender and sexual preferences, then the cascade of other traits take place as to come to a final summary of where compatability is finally judged.  Only judging people in partials or pieces--is not going to be as successful as judging a person as a whole.
 
I have had Gay male slaves.  I have had Heterosexual male slaves.  I have had Bi-sexual slaves.  I didn't force sexual intercourse preferences.  They came to me in their gender preferred sexual leanings.
 
Each side of the whip must judge for themselves on the compatability and how the relationship is formulated, structured and goals in mind.  Relationships are more than sexual intercourse--its about the total person that is to be invited into one's private space/world and designed to be a long term resident within your private space/world.
 
At this point in my life, I do not want or need sex. I think my eggs have fried out and the yoke (pun of yoke is on purpose), is on anybody who thinks I am a 'hot to trot sex machine.'  Only thing hot these days are my 'hot flashes.' [Chuckles]  This means I should feel neutral to any gender slave who is cruising.  However, preferences will prevail.
 
Just some thoughts.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration with a bit of wit,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to Cissykay1999)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Straight vs. Bisexual Dommes - 11/6/2007 10:07:25 PM   
MystressDream


Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PhoenixRed

You are most welcome, dear Lady.  Looks like we both run into the same problem, just from opposite ends of the spectrum.  I also hope that those that read this forum will be somewhat enlightened by the responses.

BTW....instead of clicking on "reply" in the upper right, click on "quote".  The whole quote will appear and you can edit or add to it from there. :)


Whooo hooo!!  Thank you, thank you, thank you.... LOL
 

_____________________________

Knowledge and experience are wonderful things to share. When we stop asking questions, we might as well "hang it up".

check out: www.enclaveproductions.com
www.enclavewest.com

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Straight vs. Bisexual Dommes - 11/7/2007 4:56:54 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cissykay1999

Dear Rumpus,
My question was intended to get information. I would think a relationship between a straight male and a bisexual female could be wonderful. What scared me until I posted this thread was that a bisexual domme might want a sub to be with another man for any number of reasons. I am learning that that isn't the case in most dommes. My mistake.

What several of us have asked when we made an effort to respond to you and you've not responded to is exectly this: Why do you have this impression that a bisexual domina wants you to like cock?  How does her liking men and women affect what YOU do sexually?  I'd love to understand this.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to Cissykay1999)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Straight vs. Bisexual Dommes - 11/7/2007 4:58:18 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subrob1967

It's been my experience that looking at Domme profiles on this site, most of the ones listed as Bi are looking for female submissives or couples only.

I'm not saying this is right or wrong, after all, I'm owned by a Bi Female couple, just that it seems like any Domme listed as Bi are looking for females.

I don't think you're correct at all.  I know for a fact that I am not the exception to your theory.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to subrob1967)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Straight vs. Bisexual Dommes - 11/7/2007 5:21:07 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cissykay1999

subrob,
I disagree. Most of the profiles I've read are dommes that want a male submissive or slave. Each has their own definition of submissive and slave, and those can differ widely. As a male submissive, I wish it were clearer as to the difference between sub and slave. My intent in posting this thread was to gain insight from dominant women as to what they want from a submissive in reference to sexuality, or in this case, bisexuality. I think as a straight male, I am at a disadvantage at times when contacting a bisexual domme.


I'm not saying that rob is correct - but you've already stated that you were only looking at straight Dommes' profiles ... so ... duh - of course they were looking for male pyl's. 

My sexuality has nothing to do with rob's ... neither does Holly's.  We are bi, he doesn't have to be (which is good, because he's not lol).  I'm with Pandora on this point - why on earth do you think that them being bi means that you would have to be?

< Message edited by SweetDommes -- 11/7/2007 6:04:21 AM >


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RE: Straight vs. Bisexual Dommes - 11/7/2007 6:04:45 AM   
subrob1967


Posts: 4591
Joined: 9/13/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cissykay1999

subrob,
I disagree. Most of the profiles I've read are dommes that want a male submissive or slave. Each has their own definition of submissive and slave, and those can differ widely. As a male submissive, I wish it were clearer as to the difference between sub and slave. My intent in posting this thread was to gain insight from dominant women as to what they want from a submissive in reference to sexuality, or in this case, bisexuality. I think as a straight male, I am at a disadvantage at times when contacting a bisexual domme.


If you're search criteria is limited to straight Dommes (as stated in your first post), how would you know my OPINION is wrong?

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RE: Straight vs. Bisexual Dommes - 11/7/2007 6:13:28 AM   
subrob1967


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Joined: 9/13/2004
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I take it you look at a lot of other Domme's profiles then?

I stated it's been MY experience that most of the Domme profiles, that list their sexuality as bi, are looking for females or couples. I didn't say it was a fact, or that every bi Domme was looking for fem subs, only that the profiles I've seen have this in common.

I could provide a list of profiles to back up my assertion, but thats a violation of the rules of the board, hence my inability to provide data to back up my opinion.

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Straight vs. Bisexual Dommes - 11/7/2007 6:59:09 AM   
BloodLuna


Posts: 403
Joined: 10/28/2007
Status: offline
MystressDream:  I love your posts!!!!!
 
OP:  Being a bisexual Mistress who wears the collar of her bisexual Dom s/o, I can tell you I often consider straight submissives/slaves as equally as I consider bisexual ones.  Each has their own unique level of submission to offer and their sexual orientation doesn't make that level any less valueable than another.  I normally indicate to any straight submissive/slave that I am bisexual and I do live with a Dom and while I do not expect a straight male to sexually serve my partner in any manner, I do expect basic respect and absense of jealousy.  He expects the same thing from any straight sub female he has serving him.

Sexual orientation is only that, an orientation.  It is part of who we are as human animals but not who we are as people.  As people we are defined by the way we love, care, play with and treat others.   I agree what Mystress Dream said about "forced" anything - an would like to add that life, love, passion, worship and submission has to be a giving of will and not the force of one will over another.  Consent is the foreground of safe D/s. 

Ok - enough mushy mushy - I'm gonna ruin my hard ass attitude for the day LOL

Lady Luna


edited for spelling although I'm sure it didn't do any good! LOL

< Message edited by BloodLuna -- 11/7/2007 7:02:40 AM >


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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Straight vs. Bisexual Dommes - 11/7/2007 7:05:03 AM   
Cissykay1999


Posts: 61
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline
MisPandora,
That wasn't my intention. I appologize for the way it was written. I guess what I was saying is that I'm AFRAID that a domme who is bisexual, would want to enjoy forcing a straight sub to interact with another man. I know now that I was wrong, at least to the extent that the dommes who have taken the time to educate me here, are the oposite.

Again, I thank everyone who has responded, and I have learned alot from this thread.

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Straight vs. Bisexual Dommes - 11/7/2007 7:21:33 AM   
MystressDream


Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BloodLuna

MystressDream:  I love your posts!!!!!
 
OP:  Being a bisexual Mistress who wears the collar of her bisexual Dom s/o, I can tell you I often consider straight submissives/slaves as equally as I consider bisexual ones.  Each has their own unique level of submission to offer and their sexual orientation doesn't make that level any less valueable than another.  I normally indicate to any straight submissive/slave that I am bisexual and I do live with a Dom and while I do not expect a straight male to sexually serve my partner in any manner, I do expect basic respect and absense of jealousy.  He expects the same thing from any straight sub female he has serving him.

Sexual orientation is only that, an orientation.  It is part of who we are as human animals but not who we are as people.  As people we are defined by the way we love, care, play with and treat others.   I agree what Mystress Dream said about "forced" anything - an would like to add that life, love, passion, worship and submission has to be a giving of will and not the force of one will over another.  Consent is the foreground of safe D/s. 

Ok - enough mushy mushy - I'm gonna ruin my hard ass attitude for the day LOL

Lady Luna


edited for spelling although I'm sure it didn't do any good! LOL


Thank you, Lady Luna.  <smile>  My posts do tend to come from a different prespective at times.  As I have said, I am straight... looking for a straight slave... and on one on one relationship.  Yes, his sexuality is important to me, as he will be a life partner who will satisfy my sexual needs as well as all the other forms of service I require.  So, at least on this board, I am kind of in the minority.  <chuckle>

_____________________________

Knowledge and experience are wonderful things to share. When we stop asking questions, we might as well "hang it up".

check out: www.enclaveproductions.com
www.enclavewest.com

(in reply to BloodLuna)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Straight vs. Bisexual Dommes - 11/7/2007 10:14:30 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subrob1967

I take it you look at a lot of other Domme's profiles then?

I stated it's been MY experience that most of the Domme profiles, that list their sexuality as bi, are looking for females or couples. I didn't say it was a fact, or that every bi Domme was looking for fem subs, only that the profiles I've seen have this in common.

I could provide a list of profiles to back up my assertion, but thats a violation of the rules of the board, hence my inability to provide data to back up my opinion.

Wow, easy there, no need to get uptight.  I've no need to troll profiles online to understand a population.  I'm speaking from RT experience with a fairly vast exposure to dozens if not more proclaimed bisexual dominas who are actually looking for male subs.  I'm not speaking of one town, state or even country.  This comes from teaching femdom and general BDSM classes in the US, Canada and in Europe.  My experiences differ vastly from what your assessment based on profiles is, that's all.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to subrob1967)
Profile   Post #: 40
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