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First Date - 11/6/2007 12:20:49 PM

pantages

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Should a sub submit to a whipping on the first date?

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RE: First Date - 11/6/2007 12:32:24 PM

oreogirl

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I'm assuming your question is after you've chatted but haven't met yet. The first date should always be something vanilla-like. Coffee or tea, or after work drinks in a public location. Never, in any kind of relationship, should you open yourself up to something that just may end up hurtful to you. Of course, all of this is my opinion and is quite possibly wrong.

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RE: First Date - 11/6/2007 1:02:11 PM

thetammyjo

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Would you define what you mean by "first date," pantages?

If you define it more specifically you'll receive more replies that hopefully won't turn into a flamewar.

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RE: First Date - 11/6/2007 1:03:47 PM

southernhart

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my Master and i knew it was true love from the third time that we spoke on the phone, after E-mailing each other for about a month. Why would anyone want or need to whip you on a first date? i don't understand. Unless you are into pain and love it. Or plating with you in scenes is all their interested in. Please explain incase i misunderstood.

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RE: First Date - 11/6/2007 1:23:37 PM

HottLicks

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If they want to... sure... go for it. Should is a key word here for me though. Would you have sex on a first date? Would you do the football team on a first date... whatever a first date means? Personally as a dominant... I don't play just to play and wouldn't want a submissive that played on a first date.

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RE: First Date - 11/6/2007 1:29:37 PM

LadyHibiscus

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I have gone from coffee to playing on a first date. It just worked out that way. Does it happen often? No. Generally I am not a fan of hit and run scenes, but I DO love to play, and a scene can just be fun between two people. Of course, I do not mix sex and bdsm, and there is a big distinction between kicking ass and getting laid IMO.

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RE: First Date - 11/6/2007 1:32:24 PM

Aimtoplease101

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The use of the word "submit" in this context seems to presume that the Domme wants to discipline the sub.

At the risk of hugely over-generalizing, if you're otherwise comfortable with the relationship based on your interactions thus far (cyber or otherwise), have a safe word in place, and don't believe you've unwittingly fallen into the hands of well-disguised mass murderer, my general philosophy is that you would submit to the Domme's desires if you really want to explore a D/s relationship.

Keep in mind, there's whippings, and then there's whippings. You may not be ready for the Domme's version, and you want to be able to provide feeback about just how much you are prepared to take. If you're a sensual, service oriented sub, with a low pain threshold, and you're meeting up with a heavy sadist who's had a bad week and looking to drown her sorrows in your screams and sobs, you may want to rethink the parameters of your "date." Or send her my number.

Regards, ATP

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RE: First Date - 11/7/2007 10:06:57 PM

FullfigRIMaam

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If you cannot decide with a reasonable amount of comfort that it's safe and right for you to do, you probably should not.
Most folks err on the side of caution, and avoid playing on first meetings/dates. M

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RE: First Date - 11/7/2007 10:35:15 PM

MystressDream

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aimtoplease101

The use of the word "submit" in this context seems to presume that the Domme wants to discipline the sub.

At the risk of hugely over-generalizing, if you're otherwise comfortable with the relationship based on your interactions thus far (cyber or otherwise), have a safe word in place, and don't believe you've unwittingly fallen into the hands of well-disguised mass murderer, my general philosophy is that you would submit to the Domme's desires if you really want to explore a D/s relationship.

Keep in mind, there's whippings, and then there's whippings. You may not be ready for the Domme's version, and you want to be able to provide feeback about just how much you are prepared to take. If you're a sensual, service oriented sub, with a low pain threshold, and you're meeting up with a heavy sadist who's had a bad week and looking to drown her sorrows in your screams and sobs, you may want to rethink the parameters of your "date." Or send her my number.

Regards, ATP

Hmmm...A very good post until you threw in that last line... <chuckle>

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RE: First Date - 11/7/2007 10:44:25 PM

MissMagnolia

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I wouldn't. But then I'm not a whip type.

When I met a sub for the first time and he asked me to whip him, I suggested he go find a ProDomme who wouldn't mind being used as HIS pleasure pet.

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RE: First Date - 11/8/2007 4:04:23 AM

MsCfromMelbourne

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Sure, I have met plenty of subs at public BDSM events and if they were really lucky, they got spanking, whipping, crop etc the same night

But I watch bodies pretty closely and have techniques to monitor how the pain threshold is going. There's also Dungeon Monitors around to intervene if the scene is turning into a bloodbath (which has never happened, but the safety net is there for the sub).

However, I don't think its a good idea to go alone on a first date with someone you hardly know to her home or other isolated place. You can set up a safe call but that will not really help if you hate the whipping and she doesnt stop.

Having said that, lots of boys are thrill seekers and take their chances. And saying "no"on the first date might guarantee no second date. Mistresses don't like rejection much! My suggestion is to negotiate the whipping scene she wants, but hold it in a public dungeon with supervision or have other people come along

Good luck

< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 11/8/2007 4:05:18 AM >

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RE: First Date - 11/8/2007 8:24:53 AM

MisPandora

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pantages

Should a sub submit to a whipping on the first date?

I doubt that Starbucks would appreciate it.

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RE: First Date - 11/8/2007 8:45:34 AM

LadyLynx

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*snorts and gasps as pop goes up her nose........again*

edited to add: I have played on the 1st date, but usually prefer not too. unless we are at a play party.

< Message edited by LadyLynx -- 11/8/2007 8:47:07 AM >

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RE: First Date - 11/8/2007 6:05:09 PM

hammerthrower

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NO. Make her wait. And make her pay for the coffee, too. She will respect you more for this in the long run.

Whatever you do, DO NOT ever call her. This will peg you as a doormat. Women hate that. Be mysterious, be unavailable. If she wants you to clean her house on Wednesday, tell her you have plans (you're busy, see?).

This will make her HOT and she will want you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pantages

Should a sub submit to a whipping on the first date?

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RE: First Date - 11/8/2007 6:12:25 PM

Shawn1066

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pantages

Should a sub submit to a whipping on the first date?

Just because a Dominant says so? Of course not. That should be a surefire red flag. If it's something you both want, you feel that you're comfortable with one another to do it, then yeah, sure.

I did some light submission on my first "date" as it were...(nothing even close to the level of a whipping, though. I mean -light-)...and it turned out fine. It's not something either of us planned on, by any means...it just kind of happened. Twas lovely like that.

< Message edited by Shawn1066 -- 11/8/2007 6:39:44 PM >

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RE: First Date - 11/8/2007 6:12:40 PM

mons

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a first date is important your thinking as a male it is ok to pay for the coffee she will see you are real any man who makes a woman pay for anything on a first is not thinking right! trust me on this i heard of go and take you panties off anf bring them to me that is sexy but not to pay for the coffee is excuse me cheap/

i speak as a woman who was once wanted to be a submissive and i know what i would want the male to do . call but not to much make her lust for you and want you and only you .

greetings to all

mons oh lord a whipping on a first date it this what this thread that would be a no way she does not know him well enough thing must go slow. even if she want this a male dom master or gorean should not go this far with a first time date

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RE: First Date - 11/8/2007 6:30:50 PM

azropedntied

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First off i really have to know where that particular starbuck is located ?
In this day and age i personaly would not play on a first meeting .I like a more personal exchange rather than hi great to meet you please beat me now thank you come again drive through service .Also is this a light whipping , one that shall leave welted markings ,or a nasty bloody afair ? Are you ready for one or all 3 ?How well can this person read you ? How well does this person know you and your needs ?do you care or just want and crave a beating ?

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RE: First Date - 11/8/2007 7:18:31 PM

FullfigRIMaam

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hammerthrower
NO. Make her wait. And make her pay for the coffee, too. She will respect you more for this in the long run.

Whatever you do, DO NOT ever call her. This will peg you as a doormat. Women hate that. Be mysterious, be unavailable. If she wants you to clean her house on Wednesday, tell her you have plans (you're busy, see?).

This will make her HOT and she will want you.

Ha ha ha ROTFL. Someone new to the boards with a great sense of humor, I love it! M

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RE: First Date - 11/8/2007 7:42:41 PM

undergroundsea

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hammerthrower
NO. Make her wait. And make her pay for the coffee, too. She will respect you more for this in the long run.

Excellent post! I totally agree. The best way to make her pay for coffee is to wait until the wait staff brings the check and sets it on the table. Then point behind her and ask her what's that thing behind her. When she turns to look, quickly slide the check towards her. And if she looks at you confused just wink and smile and say, how're you doin?

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 11/8/2007 7:43:41 PM >

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RE: First Date - 11/8/2007 7:50:04 PM

Cntrolmeplease

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If the sub wants to, sure. If they don't want to, then no.

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