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When You have to - 11/6/2007 12:56:15 PM

southernhart

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punish serverly how does that make You feel before during and after and assuming that they are not into pain. How does it affect You?

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RE: When You have to - 11/6/2007 12:59:31 PM

thetammyjo

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I punish rarely.

In the 8 years I've owned Fox, I can count the number of times I've punished him on one hand.

For me punishment is a sign for failure for both slave and owner.

Repeated need for punishment is a signal that the relationship is no appropriate for those two people. They may find appropriate partners elsewhere but clearly they are not invest enough to maintain their Ds dynamic.

So when I have had to punish I felt like a failure and I also felt sad, very sad.

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RE: When You have to - 11/6/2007 1:06:58 PM

southernhart

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that's interesting. my Master feels that punishment is something that is needed from time to time and does not look at it as a failure on either side. Just as a learning too that helps me be the best that i can be. .

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RE: When You have to - 11/6/2007 1:16:32 PM

HottLicks

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Joined: 9/21/2007
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I agree with TammyJo on this. If I have to punish like that, I am not into the relationship and would end it. What I do is more correction within the structure of our relationship as agreed to. To me, punishment is more between a parent and um, but that is in my relationships and not everyone's way of things.

I would feel awful if my submissive didn't have a sound understanding of life, himself or me and required punishment.

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RE: When You have to - 11/7/2007 9:03:32 AM

Dari

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A lot depends on why the severe punishment was needed. If it's because my sub failed me, then it hurts me as much as it hurts him - whether I'm physically hurting him or not. I hate it, and if I had to do that on a regular basis, then that is a clear sign that the relationship needs to end.

If I have to punish severely because my sub failed himself, then that hurts me quite a bit less - because if punishment is what is needed to help my sub be the best they can be for themselves, then I'm happy to do that.

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RE: When You have to - 11/7/2007 9:23:57 AM

Lashra

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I do not use pain as a way to discipline, I think this is what you are asking. My malesub is a painslut so giving him pain would only be a reward for bad behavior and I am not doing that. If I need to discipline him for breaking a rule or something I come up with something I know he won't like, for example he hates writing, I will find a nice long writing assignment for him.

With some people yes pain would be a way to discipline but not with my sub he likes it too much. I felt rather sad about having to make him do something that he really really hates, but he was the one who broke the rule therefore he has to pay the price.

~Lashra

< Message edited by Lashra -- 11/7/2007 9:24:47 AM >

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RE: When You have to - 11/7/2007 9:43:22 AM

MistressSandra2U

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My disappointment can sometimes be punishment enough so it's not fun for me to be disappointed. When punishments are part of play with more casual sessions I enjoy it. That's roleplay though and doesn't have anything to do with my full time relationship. Love and commitment makes everything different. When it comes to my relationship,punishments have at times been necessary and hard on us both. I try to be just where punishment is concerned in my relationship and punishment is never for the sake of a headgame. My slave's mistakes are not a ploy for punishment. No mistake is made twice.

< Message edited by MistressSandra2U -- 11/7/2007 9:44:56 AM >

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RE: When You have to - 11/7/2007 10:53:30 AM

RumpusParable

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quote:

ORIGINAL: southernhart

punish serverly how does that make You feel before during and after and assuming that they are not into pain. How does it affect You?

Honestly, if it's come to severe punishment I don't tend to use physical violence. That tends to be reserved for short and quick reprimands, over in a moment, and usually even then I involve it's more about the mind than pushing the body.

If it comes to something quite terrible they've done, they are much more likely to be removed from contact with me for a set amount of time and to be given tasks and expectations to be fullfilled during our time apart that I'll check when that period is over.

You can beat the living shit out of someone, reduce them physically to immobility from pain, and if they don't mentally and emotionally feel they were wrong, desire to correct it and then act on doing so, then that pain is going to do nothing to alter things.

In fact it will often make things worse as in their self-justification for their actions they will suffer the beating in a personal martyrdom and often come out with more attitude than was started with.

Whereas you can effect the mind and behaviors greatly through zero pain if the person truly feels contrite and actively wants to correct their wrongs.

As to how I feel when any level of pain is inflicted on another, I just feel tired (emotionally and physically) afterwards and am looking for a nap. Often I get a migraine from intense interaction, be it physical or mental.

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