English in European Union in next 5 years (I love language jokes)

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English in European Union in next 5 years (I love langu... - 8/5/2005 2:07:56 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with " z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl

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RE: English in European Union in next 5 years (I love l... - 8/5/2005 3:42:46 PM

dominmd

Posts: 474
Joined: 6/27/2005
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You two are positively evil. NICE TO MEET YOU

< Message edited by dominmd -- 8/5/2005 3:43:03 PM >

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

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RE: English in European Union in next 5 years (I love l... - 8/5/2005 4:56:30 PM

CalliopePurple

Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline

Langauge jokes are great. Keep sharing the humor and making the world a less serious place.

Little voice in CP's head: You smiled when you read that.
CP: Did not.
Voice: Did too.
CP: I'm not starting this with you. I don't smile often, okay? Now shut up or I won't read erotica later.
Voice: Okay, okay. *Retreats to the place in CP's head where naked video game characters play with each other.*

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to dominmd)

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RE: English in European Union in next 5 years (I love l... - 8/5/2005 9:27:03 PM

MadameDahlia

Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline

Where is this place of naked characters... and how does one gain entry?

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to CalliopePurple)

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RE: English in European Union in next 5 years (I love l... - 8/5/2005 10:01:46 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
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This is starting to remind me of the Spanglish in America Union. I live in America yet I"ve been getting turned down on more jobs lately because I'm not fluent in espanol.

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I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

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RE: English in European Union in next 5 years (I love l... - 8/6/2005 12:40:43 AM

CalliopePurple

Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
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Dahlia, BishonenWorks has wonderful fanart and a good deal of it is adult. And some involve bondage as well. I'm just a little hentai with a case of writer's block, so the pics help try to get words coming.

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

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RE: English in European Union in next 5 years (I love l... - 8/6/2005 1:15:56 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Boy am I going to have a ball with this one.. thanks guys.

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Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to CalliopePurple)

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RE: English in European Union in next 5 years (I love l... - 8/6/2005 2:06:02 AM

MadameDahlia

Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple

Dahlia, BishonenWorks has wonderful fanart and a good deal of it is adult. And some involve bondage as well. I'm just a little hentai with a case of writer's block, so the pics help try to get words coming.

You absolutely rock!!

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to CalliopePurple)

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RE: English in European Union in next 5 years (I love l... - 8/6/2005 8:11:37 AM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
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Awesome, thanks for the smile

(in reply to MadameDahlia)

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RE: English in European Union in next 5 years (I love l... - 8/8/2005 2:54:43 PM

BlouLady