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abuse issues - 11/7/2007 1:38:48 AM   
shootingstar67


Posts: 195
Joined: 10/29/2007
Status: offline
Ive got serious abuse issues. I am very damaged from childhood and some VERY abusive ex's
 
Anyway I just found this page for people with abuse issues in BDSM. I am so excited I had to post it.
 
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: abuse issues - 11/7/2007 1:47:58 AM   
megan2007


Posts: 19
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		*Smiling*  It appears to be a great site, I will definatly look it over.  For myself, and others whom I'm sure will be interested, thank you very much for posting this!

Daddy's cubbie.

(in reply to shootingstar67)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: abuse issues - 11/8/2007 9:19:31 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Isnt this lifestyle about about some form of abuse. Mental or physical.

(in reply to megan2007)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: abuse issues - 11/8/2007 9:21:41 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Isnt this lifestyle about about some form of abuse. Mental or physical.


No? It is only abuse if it is non-consensual.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: abuse issues - 11/8/2007 9:23:49 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Isnt this lifestyle about about some form of abuse. Mental or physical.


An emphatic NO! For me this lifestyle is about the exact opposite. If it was abusive I would have no part in it.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: abuse issues - 11/8/2007 9:25:42 AM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		while there are quite a few people who have suffered from abuse are attracted to the lifestyle, I don't think it is a safe assumption that everyone, or even most people in the lifestyle being abuse survivers.

On a side note, it is interesting that those who have been abused have found so much confidence,strength and sense of self within the lifestyle.  It is inspiring.

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: abuse issues - 11/8/2007 9:25:46 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		sexyred1 where were you when I ws a truck driver.  consensual or not you body is still taking abuse. When you are struck hard are you crying out or is your body making you cry out.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: abuse issues - 11/8/2007 9:29:49 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		OK I have a question. I have a friend who asks to scene with me. She has no Dom. She likes to be chained to the cross and be flogged. Afterwards she goes home and thats it. Now is she doing it because she likes it or because she feels the need to be punished. Either way she is abuseing her body.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: abuse issues - 11/8/2007 9:30:02 AM   
Michaelsangel


Posts: 49
Joined: 10/15/2007
From: Portland Oregon
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shootingstar67

Ive got serious abuse issues. I am very damaged from childhood and some VERY abusive ex's
 
Anyway I just found this page for people with abuse issues in BDSM. I am so excited I had to post it.
 



i checked it out and bookmarked it! Thank you so much for posting that link!
Michaelsangel

(in reply to shootingstar67)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: abuse issues - 11/8/2007 9:31:45 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

sexyred1 where were you when I ws a truck driver.  consensual or not you body is still taking abuse. When you are struck hard are you crying out or is your body making you cry out.


Well in that context, working out at the gym or eating a slice of cheesecake would be considered physical abuse and trying on swimsuits or doing your taxes would be classified as mental abuse.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: abuse issues - 11/8/2007 9:34:23 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

OK I have a question. I have a friend who asks to scene with me. She has no Dom. She likes to be chained to the cross and be flogged. Afterwards she goes home and thats it. Now is she doing it because she likes it or because she feels the need to be punished. Either way she is abuseing her body.


You are misinterpreting the word abuse. There are people who have been abused emotionally, physically without their "consent" as children or adults. That is horrible.

As an adult who chooses this lifestyle, you are empowered by your own choice to engage in acts that some might consider abusive. In the case of your friend, she sounds like she just needs the sensation of being flogged, if she does not have a Dom or is not in a relationship and she is asking you to help out as a service Top or substitute Dom.

Whether or not you think she is "abusing" her own body or needs to be punished, is immaterial, since she chose to do it.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: abuse issues - 11/8/2007 9:35:14 AM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		for me, being flogged is cathartic. (usually.) like getting a deep tissue massage.  So why are you in the lifestyle if you consider it abuse? Do you consider yourself an abuser?(for Dnomyar.) really would like to know your thought process on that.

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: abuse issues - 11/8/2007 9:35:30 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Whats hard about trying on swimsuits. They either fit or they dont. I concede that eating cheesecake is a form of abuse.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: abuse issues - 11/8/2007 9:36:32 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

OK I have a question. I have a friend who asks to scene with me. She has no Dom. She likes to be chained to the cross and be flogged. Afterwards she goes home and thats it. Now is she doing it because she likes it or because she feels the need to be punished. Either way she is abuseing her body.


On that concluesion, eating choclate is abusive to the body.  Drinking caffine.  Or going to wal-mart.
 
the.dark.
(.editfromewhogetsannoyedwhenthepostingtakesforeverandshesjustrepeatingeverythingerinsaid.)
(.again.)

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 11/8/2007 9:39:02 AM >

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: abuse issues - 11/8/2007 9:37:20 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar
Whats hard about trying on swimsuits. They either fit or they dont.


Only a man would ask that question.


_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: abuse issues - 11/8/2007 9:37:48 AM   
DarkDaddyZ


Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline 		It's about consensual connection between people.  While it some may be extreme forms it's about a connection.  Now granted there are some who have been abused in one form or another in their past that has taken some of the elements of that abuse and claimed it and incorporate it within their BDSM relationships but that's more about taking control of that kink (even in submission).

Damn Dnomyar, you certainly woke this thread up!

< Message edited by DarkDaddyZ -- 11/8/2007 9:39:07 AM >

_____________________________

"Flirting is part of the job description." DJ Jesus (Lucy Daughter Of The Devil)

Vanilla Official Music Page http://www.myspace.com/djzulu

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: abuse issues - 11/8/2007 9:39:37 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Whats hard about trying on swimsuits.


OMG, are you kidding? That and bra shopping, that is abuse.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: abuse issues - 11/8/2007 9:41:08 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Whats hard about trying on swimsuits.


OMG, are you kidding? That and bra shopping, that is abuse.


pfffffft - then avoid bra shopping altogether and don;t wear them! 
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: abuse issues - 11/8/2007 9:42:03 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Whats hard about trying on swimsuits.


OMG, are you kidding? That and bra shopping, that is abuse.


pfffffft - then avoid bra shopping altogether and don;t wear them! 
 
the.dark.

 
Well, with a D cup it might be too bouncy for work!

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: abuse issues - 11/8/2007 9:43:15 AM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		DarkDaddyZ, good way of putting it. *smiles*  erin, the temptation of making a my own swimsuit is extremely great.

Cheesecake and chocolate in my mind is not abuse, per se, but definately way to decadent!

the.dark, yeah sometimes collarme drives me batty, seems like sometimes they take 'freakin' forever!

yeah I wear 44DD's. I feel weird when I go without a bra. *reminds me, needs to go Lane Bryants to buy another bra. grrr*

< Message edited by LadyLynx -- 11/8/2007 9:46:09 AM >

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to DarkDaddyZ)
Profile   Post #: 20
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