tactileartist -> RE: A challenging submissive (11/11/2008 9:54:14 PM)
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ORIGINAL: DesiredLamb what makes a Master /Dom happier? *sigh* Well, I guess that would kind of depend on WHO the master/dom is and what that individual person wants in a sub. Why do we keep trying to classify the sexual roles of the varying types of "tops" and "bottoms" into broad generalities? Why does it seem that many of us are incapable of accepting that seeking a partner on a kink-oriented dating site is like seeking a partner anywhere else? Or am I way off, and many of us aren't seeking long term relationships (friendships, lovers, spouses, whatever), but only seeking an actor in the Great Play that is their life? Here's a question for y'all... okay, here's a NON-RHETORICAL question for y'all. Is there some setting I've missed to indicate in one's profile that one is a particular type of sub/dom(whatever)? Personally, I'm a brat. I challenge. I fight. I resist. My husband loves that, it works for us, and it works well. One of the reasons it works well is my ability to recognize that sometimes he's just not in the fuckin' mood, and he needs me to bring him his coffee, his scotch, a cigar, grab a cushion to kneel on next to him, and massage his feet. Because he's an... individual... person. With moods. And a broad range of desires, wants, tastes, and needs. My service to him is not to be an icon or an ideal or a sub or a brat or give great blowjobs or be sexually available at the drop of a hat. My service to him is to pay attention to him. His facial expressions, his body language, his tone. When he comes home from work, I can tell what mood he's in. Instantly. It's not difficult. Is he trudging in and slouching, or is there a bounce in his step? Is his face controlled and formal, or more relaxed? Are there dark circles under his eyes and he's wincing? (In which case I get up, turn off anything making noise, turn off half the lights, and get him coffee and a percocet, and break out his migraine diary to note the date, the weather, and if there were any chemical odors in the hallway). Is he listening to his iPod as he comes in the door? If he is, can I hear it from across the room? Is it playing techno music or the Battlestar Galactica soundtrack? (If so, I'd better turn off the phone for a few hours, 'cause I'll be... busy!). Each individual person has their own tastes. Each pair of people has their own chemistry and dynamic. Trying to ask what a dom or sub wants is... pretty futile. Just like the rest of the world, we're individuals first.
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