quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

How does a dominant dominate.... Dude.  Be honest.  What you're really asking is, "How do I talk to a girl (especially a submissive one)?"

Hey sexrobotninjakitten, how's your Saturday treating you?  (Familiar question.  Start with familiar.  Same breath/PM:) Hope it was as good as mine.  (Say waaaat?  What's so good about your day, Mr. Sir?  Leave bait.)  Three directions from here: 1) you actually had something interesting happen today.  Tell the story.  Leave bait; and after you're done, ask something like, "I feel x about all this... you know?  What do you think?"  Then ask her if she's had anything with x quality like that happen to her.  2) not a damned thing happened today.  So spin that.  "It's been quiet--I'm feeling Zen, you know?  Partly waiting for something to happen, partly just enjoying this.  It's like this totally lazy summer I had one time..."  Also, you don't necessarily have to finish the story.  Pause in the middle and ask her a question; insist, gently, on the answer, and then segue to some other topic before you finish.  This leaves the impression in her mind that she has some question she wants to ask you, without knowing exactly what she wants to ask.  If she says something that pleases you, reward her by giving her the punchline--but before you do, make sure there are other threads already out there to pick back up on. 

Don't go crazy.  This takes practice if you're not familiar with analyzing your conversations and controlling them; but as you continue talking, you'll notice opportunities to practice these tactics.  Use variety; don't say the same thing every time you open a convo.  And eventually you'll hit a topic that the girl will spooge over... let her.  Challenge her opinions ("No way, I can't believe that... what about x?" ) sometimes, and prod her "That's cool, so what happened?" sometimes, and relate to her ("That's like the time I dressed like Oscar the Grouch and she dressed like Elmo, and we had a garbage scavenger hunt in the hood--and I found a complete G.I. Joe set...") sometimes, as long as you're not hijacking the conversation at the wrong moment.  Keep the momentum moving, like music.

Then, to dominate--insert protective gestures, 'gentlemanly' flourishes in a light roleplaying manner, and call her on it in a teasing way if you sense that you can get more respect and submissive gestures in return.  At some points, outright challenge her to obey some silly rule you make up--make it a game.  Like if she typos Sir into Sar, tell her "Ohh, I like that.  It's like Sir with a southern belle accent.  I want you to call me Sar for the rest of the night, it makes me grin."  Etc.  Keep it light, and playful.  Hint that you can ratchet the intensity up, but that you're waiting for her to prove herself to you by playing with you on your terms.  Eventually, she'll give you a BIG sign that she's ready for more intensity; at that point, keep the playful, but add, "this MEANS something..." in the background.  An intense pause, a fiercer reward response for pleasing you, etc. will give her the sense that you're on the verge of actually caring about her and valuing her submission to you.

Edit: I mentioned three directions to go from that standard opening... the third direction is to completely switch tracks after and question her.  "Oh, I wanted to ask you about (x fetish/x body part/x 'nilla activity)" and then, when she responds, ignore her response and go back to your day as if you'd never left that part of the conversation.  Then go back to the sub-topic, then go to another topic, back to her, back to you, back to your day, and then tie it all together meaningfully, as if you'd planned it that way the whole time.  Keep her jumping, just close enough to the edge that she almost but not quite asks you what the hell you're talking about.  Then resolve the confusion for her.  Done right, it's magic; I've had a girl straight-up kiss me for pulling it off when she wasn't watching.  When I asked her why, she said "I just wanted to."... but I knew exactly why.  A good mind**** is a major turn-on.

Past that, you're on your own.  Good luck.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan

Yeah, I know. The military is clearer (and less risky)!

Ask her to do something like what?

Come to attention and salute?

Give me a specific, if you can.

By the way, this is a long-distance relationship, at least for now...