RE: Blind dates and women of a certain age.

RE: Blind dates and women of a certain age. (Full Version)

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DomMeinCT -> RE: Blind dates and women of a certain age. (11/9/2007 9:48:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: meatcleaver What is it with these women around forty? Younger women don't seem to have this problem and older women don't. Women around forty should be avoided like the plague from my experience, they are all fucked in the head, unrealistically demanding, too high an opinion of themselves and what they have to offer. Yup. We all suck. You should avoid all us of around 40 like The Plague. Thank goodness that one woman represents all of us, so it should save you time with any more bad dates.

juliaoceania -> RE: Blind dates and women of a certain age. (11/9/2007 9:55:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty I think women who are in their 40s and are single [still] may have a bit of a chip on their shoulder, and if they are wanting children, they can hear their clock going 'tick-tick-tick' and it might make them a bit neurotic, or a bit depressed. Sounds like you were a gentleman and were polite, so kudos to you. As for her having a fit the following day, sounds like she has some issues she didn't share with you, lol. Blind dates SUCK regardless of your age. I can understand this view of things from your vantage point, but it really is not accurate. Most women who are available in this age range have had a family and raised them, and find themselves unattached, often because they want to be so. Statistics in this country show that most often it is women that initiate divorce. There was a statistic released over a decade ago that found women over 40 were less likely to marry or remarry, and the assumption was that they were dying to be attached, this is not really the case though. Gail Sheehy wrote a couple of books about women of this age group, you can read about them on Wiki http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gail_Sheehy From my own personal perspective, life is starting at 40 for me. I am getting everything I ever wanted. I am in better shape today than I was at 25, and my wonderful UM will be an adult in less than a year. I have the emotional freedom to name and claim what it is that I want. I have the intellectual capacity and wisdom to achieve almost anything my heart desires. I am at peace FINALLY. Not only will I be done actively mothering my son when I am 40, but I will be young enough to enjoy it. And the sex... let me tell you, the closer I get to 40, the better the sex gets. I know my body, and my hormones give me the drive to enjoy my sexuality fully... Younger women, you have a lot to look forward to if you take care of your bodies now

RealityLicks -> RE: Blind dates and women of a certain age. (11/9/2007 10:23:04 AM)
It sounds to me as if the two of you didn't communicate at all. She may have taken the fact that you were apparently prepared to spend an entire evening listening to her for hours as an indication that you understood her point of view. Maybe your silence indicated tacit agreement in her eyes? The fact that she called you the next morning suggests that she obviously didn't think you were just doing "the textbook thing", you dewy-eyed old romantic, you. What I don't understand from your post is why you suddenly stopped using the textbook when she was on the phone, rather than across the table? It should go without saying that the dynamic is different for a woman who may be nearing the end of her child-rearing years and contemplating finding someone worth settling down with. Naturally, dating is going to be freighted with much more intensity than it would be for a 25 year-old. She'd have to be hopelessly out of touch with herself it it wasn't. A younger woman would dole out less pressure but maybe also have less to offer you in other ways, it's a quid pro quo - but you too have every right to your expressed preference at your time of life. She felt that there had been a connection. She must have been drunk, so her judgement was off. You're clearly way more appealing to the opposite sex than you imagine. But hey, its just one date - not really anything to write home about. Or was it?

KatyLied -> RE: Blind dates and women of a certain age. (11/9/2007 10:23:15 AM)
Why did you allow her to monopolize the conversation? Did it occur to you that you had the power to change the direction of the conversation? Did you try?

Rule -> RE: Blind dates and women of a certain age. (11/9/2007 10:39:11 AM)
He ought to call her up, tell her that he reconsidered and that he wants another date. Then at the date tell her that he wants to fuck her and that he won't put up with her issues and when home flog her a bit to make his point. Of course procreation is part of the deal... But I guess MC is more into kink than into domination...

KatyLied -> RE: Blind dates and women of a certain age. (11/9/2007 10:40:28 AM)
I think he should ask for another date and then monopolize the conversation in the exact same way she did. It may be eye opening for her. Or she may just be a clueless bitch.

Rule -> RE: Blind dates and women of a certain age. (11/9/2007 10:42:40 AM)
She most certainly is a clueless bitch. But that is easily seen to by a dominant person.

RealityLicks -> RE: Blind dates and women of a certain age. (11/9/2007 10:45:12 AM)
There are two sides to every story. She can't defend herself here.

KatyLied -> RE: Blind dates and women of a certain age. (11/9/2007 10:46:13 AM)
quote: There are two sides to every story. She can't defend herself here. Yeah. That's what makes this fun.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Blind dates and women of a certain age. (11/9/2007 10:52:36 AM)
Tossing in my quick 2 cents. If she was giving you al this unwanted info, I wonder if she was hoping you would go all white knight and tink it was your rle to save her from all the shit shes been exposed to previously and make her life all better from now on? I knew one girl who would tell a guy she met all this sort of things hoping tat his ego would make him want to show her her opinion of men was wrong. DV

bipolarber -> RE: Blind dates and women of a certain age. (11/9/2007 10:52:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied Why did you allow her to monopolize the conversation? Did it occur to you that you had the power to change the direction of the conversation? Did you try? Nah. He probably sat there, beer in hand, staring off into space.... a little twitch in one eye, not unlike Chief Inspector Dryfuss (Herbert Lom) in the old "Pink Panther" movies...

Rule -> RE: Blind dates and women of a certain age. (11/9/2007 10:55:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RealityLicks There are two sides to every story. She can't defend herself here. Her side of the story is that she was interested in MC. She also told him her demands: to get pregnant and to have a man who is not an asshole take charge of her. MC's side of the story is that he was attracted to her, but did not see the possibilities and did not take the initiative as a dominant. He can still amend this if he is truly interested in her.

RealityLicks -> RE: Blind dates and women of a certain age. (11/9/2007 11:06:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rule Her side of the story is that she was interested in MC. She also told him her demands: to get pregnant and to have a man who is not an asshole take charge of her. MC's side of the story is that he was attracted to her, but did not see the possibilities and did not take the initiative as a dominant. He can still amend this if he is truly interested in her. The OP didn't mention you being present. Is this a new brand of humour?

sexyred1 -> RE: Blind dates and women of a certain age. (11/9/2007 11:06:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: meatcleaver What is it with these women around forty? Younger women don't seem to have this problem and older women don't. Women around forty should be avoided like the plague from my experience, they are all fucked in the head, unrealistically demanding, too high an opinion of themselves and what they have to offer. Boo Hoo...Right. Women around 40 who know what they want and need are all bitches, are hormonal, etc. Yeah,ok, sparky. It could not be that YOU were boring and bore all the intriguing single women around 40 who you come into contact with. I have been on many dates and I communicate very well, never monopolize the conversation, always ask questions, am never rude and never give laundry lists of what I "demand", I am far more subtle than that, as are most women I know. Again, we are experiencing and hearing the sour grapes of another frustrated guy who feels rejected and inferior by empowered women. Again, we are hearing the dreaded, all inclusive word "women of a certain age" MUST be this or that. Look at the singles scene today. So many men and women are divorced. Look at any dating site, vanilla or otherwise. There are far more attractive and intelligent 40ish women available than there are counterpart men. Are these women overly demanding? Not at all. They are simply waiting to be with the right person, instead of taking on just any project. If you construe that as having unreasonable expectations, go right ahead. I call it, valuing my worth and taking my time to find someone else who does. Do I have a high opinion of myself and what I have to offer? Yes I do, because by now I have developed myself, as most women have in all areas of my life, to be able to offer more than one aspect to someone. So, get over yourself, it was a bad date, we all live to go on the next one.

missturbation -> RE: Blind dates and women of a certain age. (11/9/2007 11:16:19 AM)
Nah. He probably sat there, beer in hand, staring off into space.... a little twitch in one eye, not unlike Chief Inspector Dryfuss (Herbert Lom) in the old "Pink Panther" movies... I'll add to that ................. i suspect he was also recieving a bj from some hot young waitress under the table [;)] Could be the cause of the twitchy eye !!

NorthernGent -> RE: Blind dates and women of a certain age. (11/9/2007 11:18:26 AM)
It was doomed from the moment you allowed her to hold court. If you'd have told her straight from the off that you couldn't give the first fuck about her opinion of men, it would have all panned out fine. She'd probably still be at your place now crawling 'round on all fours.

RealityLicks -> RE: Blind dates and women of a certain age. (11/9/2007 11:19:24 AM)
In cyberspace, no-one can hear you scream.

Rule -> RE: Blind dates and women of a certain age. (11/9/2007 11:22:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NorthernGent It was doomed from the moment you allowed her to hold court. If you'd have told her straight from the off that you couldn't give the first fuck about her opinion of men, it would have all panned out fine. She'd probably still be at your place now crawling 'round on all fours. Quite.

velvetears -> RE: Blind dates and women of a certain age. (11/9/2007 11:46:35 AM)
i think she interpreted his silence and listening for him actually caring about what she was saying. He should have made an attempt to divert the conversation and talk about things that he wanted to. i met a dom once who came with a real chip on his shoulder about meeting subs from the internet and how they all turned out bad. He shot questions at me and when i would say something like well i'd have to think more about that before i answer he would say - you should come prepared to answer questions. He didn't smile till the very end of our meeting. i could not wait to leave, i felt like i had been to an interrogation with a mysogynist. He told me on parting if i was interested to contact him. i never did. He contacted me about a week or two later and asked me what i thought about our meeting, i was honest. He told me he found me warm and engaging (added in cute too lol). i was just upfront and said i didn't think we'd wor out. Had he been less hostile, more open, less demanding of me, less critical of internet experiences and meeting subs - maybe it would have led to more. The point is i don't think your experience has as much to do about "women" - or even "women at 40" as it has to do with personalities - men do the same things, and i would not generalize that all men in their 40's are like him.

Rule -> RE: Blind dates and women of a certain age. (11/9/2007 11:53:09 AM)
Actually, I do not think that it was a bad date. She has some issues and told him about them. I quite understand that he did not know how to respond to her at the time - it is easy to analyse this with hindsight. But if he is truly interested in her, he can make a new start with the knowledge that he now has.

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