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LadyHugs -> RE: broken toy repair (11/16/2007 4:38:26 AM)
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Dear dualservice, Ladies and Gentlemen,
First, I wish to express my way of viewing slaves as to give a foundation for what words and actions I speak.
I never consider a slave and or a human being -- a toy. For me the use of the word toy, means easy to dispose of, abandon and or casually interact with, low maintaining and needs no feeding as well as an object to which lacks 'life' unless the battery supplies it and or humane effort and or energy. This is my foundation statement for what I further have to comment on.
That said, I am of the belief that individuals to whom feel 'broken' and or disguarded, trashed and kicked to the curb, hurting, depressed, low self esteem and other behaviors that promote another person to 'assume' and or 'observe' as being 'broken.'
Life is cruel and unfair. Sometimes relationships go sour and or abusive--things go wrong.
I highly recommend being 'humble' in the ability as a Dominant to 'fix' things --to include people and or situations. There are many who identify as a healer or someone who can coax someone back from the black hole of depression, emotional distress and or destructive judgments about themselves and or the lack of a fighting spirit.
Unlike the readers of your post, to include myself -- there is just a generalized request to find help to fix a broken toy. In this case you are the best observer and perhaps it is best to be the supportive individual to listen, to show compassion and help problem solve the situation the slave is struggling with. To some people think having flaws means that they are broken. To me flaws sometimes adds character. It is my belief, that asking the slave who feels broken on how you as a person--not just a Dominant can help them best. Perhaps it is a much needed hug for a long period of time. Perhaps it is listening to the rant, the expression with anger and fury--to perhaps have a slave acknowledge you as a Master and take on the needed role as to really provide closure by making an apology for a Master who will not, cannot and or refuses to--doing what is needed to help close the wounds inflicted by another as to start a new chapter in their life as a slave. Although you were not the cause--it is an amazing power to apologize to a hurting slave. Until then, some slaves beat themselves up and remain in a stewing pot--blaming themselves and or excusing their past Master(s) for their behaviors and such.
I also wish to say, that sometimes it requires more than what a kind, compassionate and loving enviorment, Master and or the healing affect/effect. Sometimes it takes a mental health professional as to detangle the wires and make sense of things. This is where a Dominant needs to be humble and know their limits. Otherwise, there could be more damage than helping. The mind is amazing and its also a maze.
In summary, I feel how words are used can either re-enforce the perception of the person one deals with. To place a human being at the level of a toy might be the worst choice of words.
Yet, for those who are not dealing with issues of past, present and perhaps future--such as expectation anxiety, fear, phobia--toy could be used in a safe way. Understanding how our words are understood or the perception others have--helps in the communications.
That said, there will be cases where individuals create constant drama as to be controlling, manipulate and have a Dominant's attention. So, it is important to wade through the muck to find out the roots of what is taking place.
Just some thoughts.
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
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