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MystressDream -> RE: JUST about the kink, or... (11/10/2007 1:07:38 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: JohnLash
fast reply-
From a Man's perspective-
I get it, applecandy, you want friends who can see you as a person, but also have no strings attached sex...but you want them to be friends, when it suits your need, and sex partners, when it suits your need.
Man Behavior 101 "Never Toy With A Rutting Bull"
Trouble is, Men don't really work that way. I wish we did, but we don't.
Is our sexuality so trivial, so minor that it can be kept easily under control, leashed like a timid kitten, only brought out when it is convenient for us to toy with, then put away when it suits us?
Speaking as a Man...sexuality is so powerful, so primal, such a commanding drive, that once you cross that Rubicon of signalling your availability, it crowds out any other desire. When a Man is seeing you as sexually available with no-strings-attached, it literally means He can reach orgasm with you, whenever and however He wants- without any hard work or effort, whether it is at a time of your choosing or not.
You see sexual pleasure and deep friendship as interchangeable desires- but Men don't. Asking a Man to keep His sexuality surrendered to your whim and desire is not only insulting, it is futile.
If you want to be a platonic friend, great...I am a perfect gentleman with the women I work with, every day...if you want a lover/boyfriend/husband, great...Men can do that, with a lot of hard work and effort....but if you signal your no-strings-attached sexual availability, don't be surprised if even as you are chattering on about your feelings, to find yourself pushed over the arm of a couch and mounted from behind by the raging beast that you yourself unleashed.
At a local BDSM club one night, we assembled a panel of Doms... female and male... and the topic of discussion was "What are the differences between what males and females look for in a potential partner?"
It was rather interesting... The women were requested to answer first and a long discussion went on about what qualities they look for in a partner.... manners.. intellect... maturity... service...the way they initially approach them.... whether they are interested in them as women, and whether they can connect with them on an emotional level that is satisfactory to both.... etc., etc., etc....
Then they asked the male Doms. The three of them looked at each other... the first one said, "The first thing I look at in a partner is tits." The second one said... "I look at her and assess... Am I going to get laid?".... The third one said, "Hey... what can we say... women want all those things to know if they want to get to know someone better. For Us? Hell... it's all about moisture and friction. Any man who says the thoughts of sex aren't foremost on their minds is only trying to fool himself. Our mentality is usually that of cavemen. If we can't kill it or eat it then we want to fuck it."
To say the least, it caused a good deal of laughter, however, as the discussion progressed it was brought out how frustrating it is when two such opposing motivators collide.
DISCLAIMER: I don't necessarily agree with the comments made by those men.... I am just sharing it with you due to the tenor of this thread.
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