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RE: when master changes his plans - 11/12/2007 7:11:25 AM

GentleLee

Posts: 88
Joined: 10/27/2007
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Personally I couldn't do bring myself to accept that either. I am a serial monogamist and I know what I can and can't handle.

If there was no way for me to move closer to him, or him to move closer to me, I would have to close that book as well.

What it comes down to is this; can you live with yourself, with the hurt, and the (possible) nagging feeling of betrayal of "feeling 2nd best", or is it too much to bear?

I fear it is a very individual situation, and no one will ever feel the way you do, or even understand it.

Good luck, and strengh,
Lee

quote:

What would you do if placed in this situation,weve been togeather over a year and im devastated, but cant accept what hes asking x

(in reply to passionflower2)

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RE: when master changes his plans - 11/12/2007 9:21:57 AM

downkitty

Posts: 224
Joined: 10/1/2007
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Why do so many OP's not come back to answer the requests for clarification? How can I effectively be an armchair quaterback in someone else's life without all the pertinent info <tongue in cheekish>

Respectfully,

Amy

_____________________________

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls a butterfly." R. Bach in "Illusions"

(in reply to passionflower2)

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RE: when master changes his plans - 11/12/2007 9:33:51 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: passionflower2

thank you for all your replies... the issue is she lives further away than i do ! so his excuse is rediculous really. id never call him, he taught me well, but maybe this is for the best. xx

It is for the best. Good for you for sticking to your guns. His excuse is bullshit. Sorry for your pain.

(in reply to passionflower2)

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RE: when master changes his plans - 11/12/2007 10:09:25 AM

ItzKat

Posts: 86
Joined: 6/29/2005
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I think this is an example that happens in all relationships, not just BDSM ones. What we think in the beginning of the relationship changes over time. If both partners are being fulfilled, the changes help the relationship grow. If either partner is not being satisfied, the changes pull the relationship apart.

It sounds to me that he was not getting his needs fulfilled and you would not be happy with another in the relationship so it may have been for the best that it ended.

Mourn the loss, give it time to heal and then try again. Next time you just might find someone that really fulfills you as much as you do him/her.

_____________________________

~Kat

That which does not kill us... can really mess up our hair!

(in reply to MasterofScyn)

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RE: when master changes his plans - 11/12/2007 11:09:47 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
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I know this must be very hard for you but i think you did the right thing. I would have walked too. I love my Master with all my heart and soul but if he said all of a sudden i want another sub i would leave i an not wired for poly, and i admit i am a possivive sub. Maybe it is not right but i am.

LD relationship are very hard to continue although i know of ones that have worked. Since you said she lives further than you do sounds like he was giving you a line of bull. It is a platitude but time heals all wounds.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to ItzKat)

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RE: when master changes his plans - 11/12/2007 11:56:32 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
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If this is how you feel in ideology, then dont let lonliness change your mind. Ultimately, you would feel worse. So get out the tissues, the chocolate and sappy Dione Warwhick songs and cry, cry cry for a few days. Then get yourself up and look into the bright sunshine and know that tommorrow is another day and the sun will shine bright again even if its all clouds and rain right now. *HUGS* from me

(in reply to MasterofScyn)

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RE: when master changes his plans - 11/12/2007 1:20:20 PM

downkitty

Posts: 224
Joined: 10/1/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

I know this must be very hard for you but i think you did the right thing. I would have walked too. I love my Master with all my heart and soul but if he said all of a sudden i want another sub i would leave i an not wired for poly, and i admit i am a possivive sub. Maybe it is not right but i am.

LD relationship are very hard to continue although i know of ones that have worked. Since you said she lives further than you do sounds like he was giving you a line of bull. It is a platitude but time heals all wounds.

Matt's littleone

I'm not so sure that just because the new sub lives further away that means the Master was being an ass and dishonest. I asked for clarification earlier and I'm still curious. What if girl #1 lives 250 miles away from Master, and the agreement was that they would get to know each other then girl #1 would move to him. Over a year later, and girl #1 travels to visit Master once a month or so, but has not moved to him and has no immediate plans to do so. Perhaps Master got tired of being strung along and found girl #2, who lives 500 miles away (which is further than girl #1) but visits every weekend and says she plans to move to him within X amount of time?

I can see scenarios where the Master is dishonest, but I can also see scenarios where girl #1 is dishonest. I just wish I had more info.

Respectfully,

Amy

_____________________________

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls a butterfly." R. Bach in "Illusions"

(in reply to littleone35)

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RE: when master changes his plans - 11/13/2007 3:22:06 AM

littlebitxxx

Posts: 732
Status: offline

FR

Find someone who sticks to the plan you agree upon in the first place. Changing one's mind midstream tends to derail the relationship.

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There is no such thing as can't unless it is followed by yet

It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

(in reply to passionflower2)

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