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What to expect from a Master... - 11/10/2007 9:41:46 AM

submissfifi

Posts: 51
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline

Hi to all you Masters,

I was just curious as a newbie that perhaps I don't understand what I should recieve from a Master. I do realise this is very individual to Masters, and can differ slighty due to styles and preferences. I just wondered if there were certain things a Master/Dom should give their sub, never having had a d/s relationship I'm not sure what kind of things to expect, and what kind of things a Master/Dom does that is potentially bad. Seeing as Master/Dom makes the final decision and has most power and control.

What attributes can I expect from a Master/Dom?

What should be the basic things a Master/Dom should give to their sub?

I know this is a very naff question, I'm just wondering because its hard to find a geninue Master, and I'm begin told different things all the time.

Any input would be gratefully recieved. I apologise if this doesn't make much sense, its hard to explain what I mean.

Thank you. Fi x

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RE: What to expect from a Master... - 11/10/2007 9:49:24 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I was just curious as a newbie that perhaps I don't understand what I should recieve from a Master

Quite honestly, what do YOU feel that you should be receiving?

quote:

never having had a d/s relationship I'm not sure what kind of things to expect,

Stop for a minute and think what you would want or need from any kind of intimate, personal relationship. This is no different.

quote:

and what kind of things a Master/Dom does that is potentially bad

This, I can not answer. What some would consider bad; others get excited over. All you can do is rely on YOUR own judgements in this area and go with your instincts.

quote:

Seeing as Master/Dom makes the final decision and has most power and control.

No.
They only have the power to make the final decision if YOU give them that power and control.
To do that, you have to know the person you are with; you have to trust them; you have to know, deep down, that they have your best interests at heart.

AS often as this question comes up on the boards; I am still astounded that people ask it. A D/s or M/s relationship is NO different than any other; it requires the same elements that you would put into a vanilla relationship.
Communication, trust, communication, compromise, communication, trust....

It's really not that hard to understand.

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RE: What to expect from a Master... - 11/10/2007 10:03:12 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

What do you need from a relationship?

I strongly urge you don't get involved with anyone, vanilla or kink, until you figure this out. Do you need monogamy? Do you need love? Do you need micromanaging or a fair bit of autonomy?

Until you know what you need, you will not be able to find someone compatible.

In my relationship, it started as bedroom submission, and he then slowly took control in more arenas as the need arose. If I could handle things well, he saw no reason to interfere. Things I was obviously having problems with were things he did get involved in. Of course, even though I'm not great at remembering to water the house plants, he doesn't get involved there because he doesn't care about them either.

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RE: What to expect from a Master... - 11/10/2007 12:41:38 PM

MrSpectacular

Posts: 1153
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

Why don't you try a relationship see if you like it. Then you will know. Most of the expectations should come from you however. How do you feel about being submissive etc and what do you bring to the table.

Good Luck

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RE: What to expect from a Master... - 11/10/2007 12:49:44 PM

batshalom

Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline

Do some research. Master Fire Maam has a new book out. Tammy Jo has a book. John Warren has a book. There are tons of other books and research as well as this (and other) message boards. Get out in your community, and remember if it doesn't feel right to you (something someone says or does, as a Dom or Master or anyone) it isn't right. Not being gullible is not being "unsublike".

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RE: What to expect from a Master... - 11/10/2007 1:03:37 PM

MasterCurios

Posts: 156
Joined: 4/4/2006
Status: offline

as with any individual they have different needs/wants. finding the Dom/me who fits your criteria is more than just answering this post.
first and foremost finding one who is Honest, and has communication skills. these are first and foremost the most inportant when seeing how well you fit and vice-vs

Master Curios

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RE: What to expect from a Master... - 11/13/2007 3:36:57 PM

Lumus

Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: submissfifi

I know this is a very naff question, I'm just wondering because its hard to find a geninue Master, and I'm begin told different things all the time.

This is the phrase that caught my eye.

Genuine how? If you can't extrapolate on that very ambiguous term, no one can provide any form of answer for you - not that you shouldn't be defining this for yourself, mind.

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