RE: Dumb Question, but an honest one

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FaithfulYoungCuk -> RE: Dumb Question, but an honest one (11/13/2007 2:22:16 AM)
quote: out quote: ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued This isn't a question of you submitting to these men. Rather, this is a case of you wanting to use these men without their consent. If you found the men and negotiated with them, up front, to penetrate your girlfriend and leave, things would probably be working out much better - at least according to your plan. As it is, your girlfriend is using your cuckold dynamics to cover her nymphomania. When she invites the men ver, she is probably not telling them they are there to satisfy your cuckold kink. Consequently, sure, the men don't leave and your girlfriend ends up playing hostess in the morning. Even if your girlfriend says otherwise, you're not part of the equation. I just read the post where you quoted your girlfriend's letter. (Side note: quoting private correspondence on the Internet is beyond bad form.) Up to about half way through the letter, I was starting to sympathize with your girlfriend, but then she described her rationale for using subterfuge. Wow. Both of you lie to these men and, in all likelihood, to one another too. The more I read about your relationship, the more the term "trainwreck" comes to mind. Neither of you seems fit for a long-term, committed relationship. Perhaps this is salvageable, but I must admit, given the multiple layers of ulterior motives and predatory behaviors on both your parts, I find this unlikely. I wish there was some way to give you "feel good" advice, but based on your actions I'm not hugely motivated to do so. You're asking for salvation when you created purgatory of your own choosing. Sure, we all make mistakes and sometimes must rise above our behavior. Okay. Here's my advise. Start acting like an adult and take responsibility for your actions. Stop lying and using people. Take some time to reflect on what you truly want from a relationship. After you've examined your behavior, desires, and the way you've been treating others, hopefully your next relationship will go much better. Elan. I'm not the one who wants to use them without their consent - if i got to pick they would knowingly agree to the actual circumstances, its out of my hands that they believe they have a chance. Trust me i'm tempted to inform them on a daily basis! Not like its hard to find men who don't care she's got a boyfriend. Literally speaking almost every one of the guys she's messing with right now would continue having relations with her if she abruptly told them everything. And them? It's so typical when you bang a girl to give into your male impulse to profess desire for nesting: its called talking out of their asses. Can't say that to a woman cuz it just sounds like an insult. But they're full of it and they say those things to lure in women and gain a more intoxicating sense of posession. Luckily with this girl i dont have to worry much about her being that stupid. I could do what they do very easily. They look like the stronger man based on this initial appearance, but I resist the urge to be that simple every day.

FaithfulYoungCuk -> RE: Dumb Question, but an honest one (11/13/2007 2:36:32 AM)
FOR ALL THOSE WHO HAVE GIVEN GOOD ADVICE: yes i continue to post and update but be assured i consider every bit and work at the same time to implement a solution.

FaithfulYoungCuk -> RE: Dumb Question, but an honest one (11/13/2007 3:01:25 AM)
This is what I've written so far: "RE: "One thing I do want to say to you baby, and it is very important, if you want me to keep this up, you have to let me do it my way with out having you interfiering in it." What does this mean? Interfering. Participating on some level? This life of ours is my life too. I deserve to be happy also, just like you do, just like they do. You... you adamantly refuse at the slightest hint of me having any say in how we do this. Am I not part of this for you? I take care of your interests when you are with them but... maybe i haven't explained very well just what it means to take care of my interests. The other morning was a good start. I wont be an absentee ballot cast in the vote of a fixed election. I want you to take me seriously when I'm saying things that are important to me. Nothing's changed for me. I've brought things up in the best way I know how and I feel like you're only listening to and thinking about the words I'm saying until the moment I stop talking. When I stop talking it's back to computer games, back to David, Andrew, Emad.... as if to say "I've stopped talking, problem solved". Problem not solved. You have a priority list and I don't feel like I'm where I ought to be on it sometimes. I believe that if i was, it wouldn't be me whose thoughts and feelings stopped being considered when my lips stop moving, it would be theirs. Problem not solved. I feel like i'm chasing you, trying to keep up and see what it feels like to be in your eyes again. You mess with me too much cuz I don't know what to believe in sometimes. You threaten to cut off all ties with these men completely any time I really push for what I need, but don't I do all that I can to give you what you need? You've really made me wonder what would happen if i said "okay - cut them off - tell them all the truth, stop seeing them completely: you say they mean nothing, so that won't be a problem, right?" What would happen baby? Instead of being afraid of the answer to that question any longer, I guess it's time to know."

Baroque -> RE: Dumb Question, but an honest one (11/13/2007 7:59:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FaithfulYoungCuk Why is it so hard to understand that a cuckold might not accept to be at the whim of another man? Without reading your rant, or even reading polite posts from civilized contributers to this universe - I can say: I can understand exactly what you are saying. You care for Her. The woman you are working under may not, but it is not a universal opinion. Better luck next time.

laurell3 -> RE: Dumb Question, but an honest one (11/14/2007 11:31:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FaithfulYoungCuk This is what I've written so far: "RE: "One thing I do want to say to you baby, and it is very important, if you want me to keep this up, you have to let me do it my way with out having you interfiering in it." What does this mean? Interfering. Participating on some level? This life of ours is my life too. I deserve to be happy also, just like you do, just like they do. You... you adamantly refuse at the slightest hint of me having any say in how we do this. Am I not part of this for you? I take care of your interests when you are with them but... maybe i haven't explained very well just what it means to take care of my interests. The other morning was a good start. I wont be an absentee ballot cast in the vote of a fixed election. I want you to take me seriously when I'm saying things that are important to me. Nothing's changed for me. I've brought things up in the best way I know how and I feel like you're only listening to and thinking about the words I'm saying until the moment I stop talking. When I stop talking it's back to computer games, back to David, Andrew, Emad.... as if to say "I've stopped talking, problem solved". Problem not solved. You have a priority list and I don't feel like I'm where I ought to be on it sometimes. I believe that if i was, it wouldn't be me whose thoughts and feelings stopped being considered when my lips stop moving, it would be theirs. Problem not solved. I feel like i'm chasing you, trying to keep up and see what it feels like to be in your eyes again. You mess with me too much cuz I don't know what to believe in sometimes. You threaten to cut off all ties with these men completely any time I really push for what I need, but don't I do all that I can to give you what you need? You've really made me wonder what would happen if i said "okay - cut them off - tell them all the truth, stop seeing them completely: you say they mean nothing, so that won't be a problem, right?" What would happen baby? Instead of being afraid of the answer to that question any longer, I guess it's time to know." Stop arguing details, you both sound like used car salesmen now and rehashing the details instead of looking at the structure. Start back at the beginning. Look at this relationship, does it work for you? Do you really believe you can work it out? Tell her this is what I should have negotiated for in the beginning, this is how I should have answered your questions instead of saying "I don't know", THIS is what works for me and what I must have. Keep it simple, renegotiate the terms of your relationship, if that is, you think it will work. If you are truly going forward with this relationship, you are going to have to find a way to set aside the hurts and be open to starting over, maybe then you rehash the details to get it out in the open. Right now, this appears to be a big mess and I question whether either of you are mentally able to actually work WITH each other to figure it out. Again, it's advice given based on a snippet of your life. I don't know you, take it with however much weight you believe it should be given, but stop selling yourself short and say I deserve these parameters in any relationship I have.

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