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Perception - 8/7/2005 6:38:22 AM

RiotGirl

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Okay, i'm going to talk about abit perception and assumption.

You own a house, you rent out the basement. One of the visitors to the people who rent out the basement you see in your front yard beating on their car. Kicking, yelling, denting the car, having a down right fit. With the car parked infront of your house, on a saturday, with you're neighbors out and about.

What do you assume? What do you perceive? What would of been your actions?

< Message edited by RiotGirl -- 8/7/2005 6:40:16 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: Perception - 8/7/2005 6:47:30 AM

mistoferin

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I would perceive that something is causing them to have a rough day and ask if there was anything I could do to help.

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RE: Perception - 8/7/2005 7:34:27 AM

DesertRat

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From: NM/USA
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I would think that the person was very drunk. Probably so drunk that he or she was in a blackout. Don't ask me what I am basing this on.

Bob

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Post #: 3

RE: Perception - 8/7/2005 7:37:26 AM

sanita

Posts: 338
Joined: 1/30/2005
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i'd contact my tenant, and ask if this is something i should worry about.

first, is the person kicking and beating their own car, or the car belonging to your tenant?

if it were the tenant's, i would move even faster to check on them and make them aware of it. then i would probably call the police.

if it were their own car, i would check with the tenant to see if this person is likely to cause a person harm, or if they are just in a bad way. if they were just having a bad time, and their car was not starting, i would go sit down on the curb near them and wait until they noticed me, and then calmly ask if i can help, or if they needa ride, or if they would like me to call someone... a big drink of ice water might help, too.

i would not worry so much about the neighbors, so long as it was not too early in the morning, or late at night. i would not want them disturbed or harmed. if there is cussing going on around kids, i might speak up and suggest a little less blue in the air.

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Post #: 4

RE: Perception - 8/7/2005 10:11:56 AM

stormsfate

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Joined: 2/1/2005
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I wouldn't care about the reasons why. I would evict them and think long and hard about having anyone else move in.

best regards,
fate

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Post #: 5

RE: Perception - 8/7/2005 5:43:27 PM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
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i'll tell what happened. But bear with me as it was an unpleasant situation, but an awesome teaching tool. So it works to be a good thing

the person who was beating on their car was, infact me. Because not less then 10 minutes earlier, i was in a situation where some one lept across a whole room, in a blink of an eye, to dig their fingers under my cheek bone in hopes of being able to rip off my face. Being un able to beat the person up, i went and beat my car up, because i was so enraged i could hardly contain it and knew better then to do anything else. Amusingly the person who flew across the room stood in the driveway laughing the butt off at me the whole time.

What did the landlords percieve and do? They saw a girl having a fit outside their house, beating up there car and i got banned from going back. Being labeled a few unsavory things.

Because they didnt see what went on in the room, they saw only what they saw and they percieved what they saw. Course not much later, once things settled down and i promised to be on MY best behavior did the same laughing person teach me this neat little trick. Its quite amazing really.

Take my mothers house. If one of the cats was tearing up the carpet and i didnt want her to know, all i'd have to do is throw the dog on the offending area as she walked into the room and she would ASSUME the dog did it. With out saying a word. Of course, if words are used it can be an even bigger effect to change somebodies view of whats going on.

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Post #: 6

RE: Perception - 8/8/2005 6:20:41 AM

tinkJH

Posts: 180
Joined: 5/22/2005
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Well, by your first post, I would ask if the person was alright.. if something was wrong.

However, if someone is outside beating the crap out of their own car - that is their own business, but I'd prolly still ask what was wrong.

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Post #: 7

RE: Perception - 8/8/2005 10:57:41 AM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl

Okay, i'm going to talk about abit perception and assumption.

You own a house, you rent out the basement. One of the visitors to the people who rent out the basement you see in your front yard beating on their car. Kicking, yelling, denting the car, having a down right fit. With the car parked infront of your house, on a saturday, with you're neighbors out and about.

What do you assume? What do you perceive? What would of been your actions?

I admit that I already read the whole thread before responding, so I now know more of the story ... but initially, my reaction would be to go out, tell the person to stop or I would call the police and ask them to leave and not come back until/unless they can control their behavior. Depending on how they reacted to my going out would determine what I did next, but somehow, I'm thinking it wouldn't go over well and I'd either end up slugging them or going back in and calling the police.

Afterwards, I would have had a talk with the renters about the people that they have over, and tried to find out what caused the scene out in my driveway. After hearing the story of the person in my driveway attacking their own car being attacked by someone else, I would have asked that neither be invited back unless they can behave in appropriate ways - and if it happens again there will be no warning before calling the police - whether or not it's the same people.

That kind of behavior is not appropriate, especially in a residential neighborhood where children might be present and people may be trying to sleep - I admit that I have a temper and have been known to lose it at bad times/places. However, in general, I leave the situation and contain it until I am somewhere private where it IS more appropriate to throw things, hit things, scream, yell, whatever. Doing so in a public place, with the person you are pissed off at laughing at you just makes things worse - and gives them way too much satisfaction (and yes, I do have to remind myself of that frequently - and no, it doesn't always stop me from behaving like a fool).

(in reply to RiotGirl)

Post #: 8

RE: Perception - 8/8/2005 2:54:44 PM

FangsNfeet

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Joined: 12/3/2004
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Well I don't know what my Basement Dwellers did to piss off there invitees but I'd have the police out there ASAP before any of my property could be damaged. Other wise, that person is going to be having a bad day with a bat, blow torch, and a pair of pliers. As for the ppl renting my basement, I'd just give them a warning not to have fuckers like that again around my place and to choose more wisely about there company and bussiness. After all, I can't have there actions put me and my family in harms way.

As to your situation, I'd deffinetly would ask what the hell was going on and get down to the bottom of things along with having the police handy for anyone wanting to file assult charges. After all, I may be a Texan but I do keep the safty on. Either way, protecting my family and person comes first. It's not my responsibility to get caught up in the Drama but to only make my envirnoment as safe as possible. I'd rather have you and my teanents settle things at jail rather than at my house where things can get more out of hand.

< Message edited by FangsNfeet -- 8/8/2005 3:09:28 PM >

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Post #: 9

RE: Perception - 8/8/2005 4:07:51 PM

MsIncognito

Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl

What did the landlords percieve and do? They saw a girl having a fit outside their house, beating up there car and i got banned from going back. Being labeled a few unsavory things.

Because they didnt see what went on in the room, they saw only what they saw and they percieved what they saw. Course not much later, once things settled down and i promised to be on MY best behavior did the same laughing person teach me this neat little trick. Its quite amazing really.

Take my mothers house. If one of the cats was tearing up the carpet and i didnt want her to know, all i'd have to do is throw the dog on the offending area as she walked into the room and she would ASSUME the dog did it. With out saying a word. Of course, if words are used it can be an even bigger effect to change somebodies view of whats going on.

Even knowing WHY you were acting like an imbecile I'd still ban you from the property if I were the landlord. I'm sorry but you're an adult and you're responsible for how YOU react to a situation. Just because someone else lunged at you and tried to tear your face off doesn't absolve you of the way you chose to act in response. Adults don't go around damaging property (even their own) and causing a ruckus and then blame it on someone else. The dog did it? Yeah right. I've said this before but I think it's worth repeating: Get help. Seriously!

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Post #: 10

RE: Perception - 8/8/2005 4:20:53 PM

dominmd

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Joined: 6/27/2005
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Hmmmmmmmm. I'd grab a video camera. It would show what the person looked like when you show it too them.

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Post #: 11

RE: Perception - 8/8/2005 4:40:17 PM

imtempting

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
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Honestly Id think this person is crazy. If they are beating their own car up what will stop them from beating my place up.

I read further down and im sorry for what happened but beating your own car up will only cost you in the end.

Take some boxing classes.

(in reply to RiotGirl)

Post #: 12

RE: Perception - 8/8/2005 10:28:38 PM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
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Aye and i'm sure the landlords did ask and unfortunetly i have no clue what was said, but i doubt the truth is told

oh and i wasnt saying that i wasnt responsible. i was. And honestly, i dont regret it, well i sorta did when the door wouldnt open right. But nah.. i consciously made that decision. Twas better then anything else i was thinking at the time. Like grabbing all of Tims stuff and just smashing it against the wall, Tim, a mutual friend and another basement roomate, managed to clean his room while my face was being torn off. And it was definetly better then decking him. LOL Which is what i REALLY REALLY wanted to do. And its not a story to be sorry over or any of that junk. It was quite honestly a valueable lesson and i am glad i learned it. Plus... LOL it wasnt even painful.

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Post #: 13

RE: Perception - 8/8/2005 10:36:39 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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But what does this have to do with the intent of your original question? Are you looking for validation so you can think you're normal and stable and mature and healthy? I certainly haven't seen much of that and each week that passes I see more and more to the opposite, so if anything this contributes to your pattern of being in unhealthy situations and then not being able to handle them well.

This and your "judging where a person lives" thread leads me to believe that you're on a perception kick and thinking about how people perceive you and angry about it. (The anger is going out on a limb, I'm highly intuitive but not terribly empathic and judging emotions online is a very tricky business)

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Post #: 14

RE: Perception - 8/9/2005 12:00:08 PM

zaynab

Posts: 377
Joined: 6/20/2005
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I would be alarmed... would watch to see if they settle down... if not, and they stay the same or get worse, I would call the police to have them see if this person needed any help... if they settled down, I would ask them if they are ok or if they need some help...

the next day, I would talk privately to the renter of the basement and tell them their friends can't act like that in front of the house.... if they let their freinds act like in the basement, that would be their business, as long as I could not hear it...

People who live near others, should not disturb their neighbors in my opinion.

If it was me acting that way with my own car, I would not regret damaging my own car to vent my anger if my anger was that severe. I would feel guilty though, that I may have alarmed the neighbors.

In the past, for 2 years, I was living under extreme abusive circumstances and during that time period, when I couldn't take it anymore but could not get out of the situation, I gave myself permission to act out in property damaging ways. This was with my own possessions by the way.

I would even sit and make a list of what i wanted to damage, the next time it was so unbearable. My favorite items on that list was throwing something heavy (forget what it was now) through a picture window and shattering the window. Also busting up a heavy wooden chair.

Whipping a 3 foot long filled toolbox (yes, it was mine) into the yard was wonderful therapy for me once, but later, I spent days picking up thousands of nails and screws out of the grass.

I think busting up my own possessions was an excellent choice to relieve myself of the overwhelming anger. Nobody got hurt and I felt a bit better. I didn't regret losing those possessions either, it was worth it.

I'm not in a situation like that now, thank God. If I was in one like that again, I would just get out of it and not let another person affect me to such a damaging degree.

< Message edited by zaynab -- 8/9/2005 12:08:53 PM >

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Post #: 15

RE: Perception - 8/9/2005 3:28:47 PM

MstrHellsFury

Posts: 388
Joined: 1/5/2005
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everyone is entitled to a bad hair day or to find themselves acting out in ways not normal under certain situations...what we do as a response..how we control our emotions and actions..that's the gadge by which we learn...as with some who are and have always been perfect...I've made a wrong turn or two in my life...that's how I know the results weren't always what the intent was meant to bring about...but we grow and move forward...hindsight has pointed you in the direction of understanding the results of the actions you took and with that..you said it yourself...you learned something...alls good ...

Fury

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Post #: 16

RE: Perception - 8/10/2005 12:15:38 PM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

quote:

But what does this have to do with the intent of your original question? Are you looking for validation so you can think you're normal and stable and mature and healthy? I certainly haven't seen much of that and each week that passes I see more and more to the opposite, so if anything this contributes to your pattern of being in unhealthy situations and then not being able to handle them well.

This and your "judging where a person lives" thread leads me to believe that you're on a perception kick and thinking about how people perceive you and angry about it. (The anger is going out on a limb, I'm highly intuitive but not terribly empathic and judging emotions online is a very tricky business)

okay Ms uber slave, i'll bite this time. slightly. i've only one thing to say. If you havent got a clue whats going on, or why, i'm not about to tell you. You obviously havent gained or learned anything from the posts and i'm not about to school you. If you couldnt catch it the first, or the second, or the third, you prolly wont catch it the fourth

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Post #: 17

RE: Perception - 8/12/2005 8:58:42 PM

pinkpleasures

Posts: 1114
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Old law school trick. Class is in session, when deranged man runs in and attacks the professor. After he departs, the professor says "what did you observe?". It is meant to teach young lawyers how fragile eye witness testimony is. So this is how i see it: perception is reality-based, and while you may be missing a piece of the puzzle, you are still acting on your impressions at the moment. Assumptions are inherent beliefs, etc., which we all have (such as cars with left hand turn signals on will turn left). Neither perception nor assumption will bring you to a reasonable conclusion if half the facts are concealed.

pinkpleasures

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