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RE: Wipe your feet. - 8/9/2005 6:39:21 AM

plantlady64

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl

quote:

IMO, if the sub is doing everything and anything without question or thought to what is being asked, and/or can show no other mentality when around other adults but that of "yes Sir, no Sir, I'll do whatever you ask Sir"

Hello There,
I disagree with this statement. To give total discretion of behavior to your Master in public does not in my mind relate to being a doormat. .
My Master does not treat me in any way, shape, or form like a doormat. In fact he values me like I'm his prize Ferrari. He nurtures me, cares for my emotional well being & body, and allows me to grow in the glow of his loving eyes.
When we are in public settings I immediately fulfill any and every request my Master has without thought or question. He also knows if I submit to him without my agreement if I say, "Only if it pleases you Sir" in response to His request. If I disagree with what's transpired we will discuss how I felt and why later.
Sometimes he chooses to not continue with what he's ask of me, and sometimes he gets this hot grin on His face and we follow through with his requests. I love that He makes me go places in my submission I'm not comfortable with. I trust that he only asks things of me that He feels I'm ready for and will allow me to grow.
I think a devoted slave or good sub can submit to her/his Master fully without hesitation or question in public, and should. I also think you should practice this at home as well.
A sub/slave’s submission to someone should be complete and absolute, especially in public. It's our job to want to fulfill your desires and make you proud of us, not to dispute your requests in public.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to RiotGirl)

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Post #: 21

RE: Wipe your feet. - 8/11/2005 1:27:56 PM

DomButNotForgotn

Posts: 108
Joined: 6/2/2004
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Good question - exactly WHAT IS a doormat???

When the Official BDSM Dictrionary and Manual comes out, please send me a copy. I lost mine in moving recently, and I can't answer any of those nagging questions without the manual!

(in reply to Fidelity)

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Post #: 22

RE: Wipe your feet. - 4/3/2007 1:28:36 PM

trampledslave1

Posts: 35
Joined: 2/18/2007
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i'm a real doormat,full weight,heels,face standing,shoe licking,ect

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Post #: 23

RE: Wipe your feet. - 4/3/2007 3:01:40 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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a doormat, from what I have seen is one who allows others to totally and completly walk all over them. They have have no self esteem, no self worth, no self respect at all for themselves.

If the truth be known, I personally know no slaves or submissives in real life who can in any way be called doormats.

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RE: Wipe your feet. - 4/3/2007 3:15:39 PM

asubmissiveheart

Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
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I am a doormat to the woman I love, and proud of it.

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Post #: 25

RE: Wipe your feet. - 4/6/2007 4:45:31 PM

stella40

Posts: 417
Joined: 1/11/2006
From: London, UK
Status: offline

A doormat is a square mat kept outside a front door for wiping your feet before you go inside the house.

A doormat is a label we attach to a person who we feel has no personality,self-esteem or real interest in their submission, but allows themself to be used or exploited or even abused without any resistance.

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If you can't be a good example then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

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Post #: 26

RE: Wipe your feet. - 4/6/2007 5:03:47 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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~ Fast Reply ~

He finds me more useful as his foot rest. But yes, he has wiped his feet on me, and I love it. I am anything he wants me to be at any time, and I love love love that I am. Doormat? Sure! Why would I limit what I am? He can walk all over me any time. I know that on another day, in another mood, he will praise me and elevate me. He will require me to challenge my own thinking and learn something complex about myself. He might use me as a hole to fuck and nothing more. And so on...It's funny, so many are repelled at the word "doormat" but find it hot to be an ottoman or a human table or any other inaminate object. The key for me is that what I am is for him and only him. What I am to him has nothing to do with poor self esteem, or lack of intelligence, or a dysfunctional need for attention. What I am for him is anything he wants of me, because that is who I am and that is what fills me.

So, I think the next time he wants me to be his doormat, I'll ask him to paint "Welcome" across my back and put a Daisy on my ass.

(in reply to stella40)

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Post #: 27

RE: Wipe your feet. - 4/6/2007 5:13:53 PM

starshineowned

Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

Some people view dormat as a girl/boy that will do what they are told, when they are told, without question or requard as to why.

Some now a days refer to this as a reactive slave. This being different than a pro-active slave who will delve more into the whys. Neither is better than the other that I see..it just seems more to be one is more inquisitive and needs a measure of security in the why..though others see it as a useful tool to improve their slavery. To that even I would say that a reactive slave is and feels where they are at is at home where as the pro-active is still striving to obtain that place.

Can't say as have ever viewed the doormat comment as someone brainless or without self respect or esteem. Seems to me that if they made the conscious decision to follow into this life there must be some brain activity there, and to achieve a higher plateau that many will not achieve or ever understand shows to me they respect themselves and have esteem to go where others are to afraid to traverse.

Personally I think the term came about because of jealousy against slaves who relished in their complete slavery and enslavement from those who could not achieve such. :)

Well Wishes
starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

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Post #: 28

RE: Wipe your feet. - 4/6/2007 5:19:37 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
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quote:

ORIGINAL: starshineowned

quote:

Some people view dormat as a girl/boy that will do what they are told, when they are told, without question or requard as to why.
Some now a days refer to this as a reactive slave. This being different than a pro-active slave who will delve more into the whys.

Just wanted to comment that one can actually be both.

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Post #: 29

RE: Wipe your feet. - 4/6/2007 8:50:00 PM

starshineowned

Posts: 1551
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From: Texas
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Can agree with that and will even identify with when it comes to different area's of life and involvement there of.

Well Wishes
starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

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Post #: 30

RE: Wipe your feet. - 4/6/2007 10:46:45 PM

Aswad

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Some of us prefer an introspective sub/slave that nonetheless will voice their objections before, or ideally while, obeying, but not refrain from obeying on any other grounds than unexpected danger.

I like a slave that, actively and consciously, makes an intelligent, structured effort to implement unconditional obedience and conditioned reflexive responses. And I doubt that I am the only one on this forum to like reflex conditioning and stuff like that. This does not mean I treat my slave as a doormat in the sense of taking her for granted, misrespecting her, ignoring her limits or lowering her self-esteem in any way.

(in reply to starshineowned)

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Post #: 31

RE: Wipe your feet. - 4/6/2007 10:55:28 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
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greetings master raven,

i am most certainly a doormat where He is concerned. i spent a good part of my life being a doormat in a way that was extremely unhealthy for me where other people were concerned before He and i ever got together, though. i have learned to be stronger and more confident in myself around others, and though i am strong and self-confident around Him, He can walk all over me if He wishes...it doesn't have the negative self-esteem i associate with my previous experience of being a doormat. i guess it's doormat-ish in a healthy, constructive kinda way. ;)

for me, before, being a doormat meant that i had a difficult time saying no to things i knew were not good for me, or when i knew i had way more than i could take care of already, etc. especially when pressured into it. i also did not assert myself when people devalued me; i simply let them, or worse, apologized for it and beat myself into becoming whatever they wanted.

as His property, it's His right to do all of those things, but i have learned to channel my responses and my desire to please/be found pleasing in more constructive ways, and also learned to relate to other people in a healthier way than that.

annabelle.

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Post #: 32

RE: Wipe your feet. - 4/7/2007 4:52:36 AM

StellaByStarlite

Posts: 790
Joined: 2/10/2007
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Hello. =)

This thread is, like, two years old, heehee!

;)
Stella

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Post #: 33

RE: Wipe your feet. - 4/7/2007 6:58:24 AM

Aswad

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Joined: 4/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: StellaByStarlite

This thread is, like, two years old, heehee!

Many threads are. Mostly because some topics are impossible to resolve to everyone's satisfaction, and some are important to people.

(in reply to StellaByStarlite)

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Post #: 34

RE: Wipe your feet. - 4/7/2007 8:09:25 AM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
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example of dorrmattish behaviour on my part to demonstrate

early on i had a online thing going with a Dom in US and i am in the UK - so like a six or eight hour time difference. though he was terribly devlish and charming and exciting and we had lots of fun playing around i was repeatedly guilty of being a total doormatt for him. i would stay up all night to be online for him when he woke up, or get up at 4 am to spend time with him beofre i went to work myself. about 1 time in 4 he was actually online when he said he would be, i spent the rest of those nights just waiting around for him. i protected him from the consequences of his behaviour and failed to hold him to account for breaking his word. i did this because i believed it would be better in the long run. i thought that submission was the same as low self esteem and low self respect, i thought if i wanted to show respect for someone else then i had to in some way stop feeling respect for myself.

thank the lord that between now and then i met people who helped me get out of this stupid mind set.

imo a major feature of doormatthood is not having the self assurance to continue to be submissive and live within the codes of your service but also holding your Owner accountable for their actions.

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veritas, respectus honorque in corio

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Post #: 35

RE: Wipe your feet. - 4/7/2007 8:24:07 AM

apettiger

Posts: 131
Joined: 1/15/2007
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sometimes a person can have ok self-esteem but if they are with S/someone who treats them badly i.e., FORCING scat play, water sports and beastiality, just to name a few, on a person who really has a averision to that kind of activity. or subjecting them to constant humilliation or pain when that is not what they want or need, can make them feel less than human and universally unwanted and un-cared-about.
i say this from my personal experience and i will tell Y/you, it made me feel like a "door mat", in other words, i felt i was no more important to him than a dirty scrap of rubber and that my only good use was for him to scrape all the shit that stuck to him during the day off on me.
i am worth more than that, i have a higher function than just being a receptical for S/someone elses shit.

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RE: Wipe your feet. - 4/7/2007 8:47:56 AM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

~So, I think the next time he wants me to be his doormat, I'll ask him to paint "Welcome" across my back and put a Daisy on my ass.

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
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There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
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RE: Wipe your feet. - 4/7/2007 8:57:12 AM

lilsquaw

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This girl would think that for a "doormat" to be such an objectionable thing to many, then why would they possibly have one in their own home.

To each little weaver their own pattern

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Post #: 38

RE: Wipe your feet. - 4/7/2007 9:43:16 AM

dawntreader

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In true sevice, do we not all become a doormat at some point in our journey? When all layers are striped and there is nothing left but our core and the burning desire to please at even the lowliest task?
j

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It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

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Post #: 39