A General Question for submissives (Full Version)

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MasterofNeed -> A General Question for submissives (8/7/2005 11:36:42 AM)

I was looking through the various profiles today. I came across one that sparked my curiousity. Perhaps some of you can express your views on it.
One particular profile stated very clearly that she was not interested in bisexual Doms, and yet when I looked she herself was bisexual. I have seen this before and it seems so incongruous. Each individual obviously has the right to state what they want or are looking for. That is not the issue. The issue is the implied statement female bisexuals good, and male bisexuals bad. Would any care to comment on this seeming discrepancy?




nella -> RE: A General Question for submissives (8/7/2005 12:39:28 PM)

Perhaps she did not want to end up in an poly relationship, or perhaps she just wanted a so called manly man, there are many reasons why pepole wish, or dont wish somthing paticular.




EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: A General Question for submissives (8/7/2005 1:20:41 PM)

Ones own orientation does not dictate ones desireable partners. Lots of dominants are heterosexual but want bisexual partners. Perhaps they see some value in that person due to perspective, possible addition of partners or whatever.

Our preferences in partners don't have to be logical.




BlouLady -> RE: A General Question for submissives (8/7/2005 2:13:00 PM)

I myself am bisexual but the thought of two men makes me queasy.I believe "to each thier own" but I DON't want a man for a partner who sleeps with other men. It's a personal choice and I don't really think me being bi has anything to do with anything.




subversiveone -> RE: A General Question for submissives (8/7/2005 2:21:46 PM)

and here's a twist for ya:
im hetero currently but have been bi in the past
i only have dated hetero but have been intrigued by bisexual men
i've stated in ads that im "no longer bi-curious from a personal standpoint but would like to have a strictly hetero relationship with a bi-curious", which usually just confuses them more...what it boils down to is that I'd like to play with 2 men but only sexually serve one. lol




OsideGirl -> RE: A General Question for submissives (8/7/2005 4:45:42 PM)

Because Bi men don't turn me on. Do I need more of a reason than that?




mossy -> RE: A General Question for submissives (8/7/2005 8:07:45 PM)

It is really no different then a straight Dom seeking a bi-female.




sultryvoice -> RE: A General Question for submissives (8/7/2005 8:21:00 PM)

The only thing I see is that we are used to seeing women that are bisexual. We aren't used to seeing, much less the admission of a bisexual man. Quite frankly, I find a bi male intriguing. I am not bi but have had bi experiences..I found that it did nothing for me..

Respectfully,
sultry




slavedesires -> RE: A General Question for submissives (8/8/2005 7:23:17 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: subversiveone

.what it boils down to is that I'd like to play with 2 men but only sexually serve one. lol



see now for me, bisexaul men make me quesy as well...BUT being with 2 men that are not bisexual and me serving both is quite the turn on.
as is being with another gal with my Dom.

see, its whatever floats ones boat or WIITWD.

~~shy




ChereeAmoor -> RE: A General Question for submissives (8/8/2005 7:31:03 AM)

Both of my Masters are straight, and I have bi leanings. This causes no problems so far. None of us think bi males are wrong or too quirky or in any way "not as good" as bi females. They are just plain straight. They have never said anything about prior experiments, so I have no idea if they tried or not.




MtPleasantsubAsh -> RE: A General Question for submissives (8/8/2005 7:42:34 AM)

I see no clear implications as to your assumption that anyone says or believes that female bisexual is good, male bisexuality is bad...only that this particular woman stated her preference, which she has every right to. I abhor generalisations, and i'm pretty sure that is what you have just done...made an unfounded assumption, and therefore made an incorrect judgment and made yourself look the fool


(just my opinion)




proudsub -> RE: A General Question for submissives (8/8/2005 6:42:22 PM)

quote:

The issue is the implied statement female bisexuals good, and male bisexuals bad. Would any care to comment on this seeming discrepancy?


Maybe she is worried about HIV, since it is so prevalent among bi-sexual men. JMHO[:)]




MasterofNeed -> RE: A General Question for submissives (8/9/2005 2:34:17 PM)

Yes proudsub. I think that is often seen as a possible issue. One of the things that first sparked this question of mine was not one particular profile, but rather an extended thread of discussion in the forums at b.com What you have stated did seem to be a definite concern for some. Thank you for your reply and opinion. And thank you to E/each who have replied.




ProtagonistLily -> RE: A General Question for submissives (8/9/2005 3:21:33 PM)

quote:

Yes proudsub. I think that is often seen as a possible issue. One of the things that first sparked this question of mine was not one particular profile, but rather an extended thread of discussion in the forums at b.com What you have stated did seem to be a definite concern for some. Thank you for your reply and opinion. And thank you to E/each who have replied.


Of course, that must be it. It couldn't be that she's not into a guy who's into dick too....

Lily




sabis -> RE: A General Question for submissives (8/26/2005 9:46:09 PM)

Speaking as a woman who was engaged in a threesome one sultry summer’s day and found herself completely forgotten as the two gentlemen she had been entertaining decided that Now Was The Time to explore one another … It’s not something I *personally* would seek out. Yes, I’m bisexual. But that’s in my bedroom – what’s in my bedroom is my business. What’s in other people’s bedrooms is * their * business. There’s no judgment involved in my saying, it was something of a gross out to watch my partner start slurping my lover’s naughty parts. My brother is about as flamingly gay as it gets, and I embrace his choices and his preferences. But I don’t want it in * my * bed. Your bed may vary. ;-)




FangsNfeet -> RE: A General Question for submissives (8/27/2005 12:08:53 AM)

I'm a Bisexual Dominant who is with a Straight Submissive. She has always had her CM account programed to show all the Straight Male Dominants in her area when she logs on.

For women having sex with other women, it's not that big of a deal for some or most men. Lesbianism and/or 3somes with one guy and two women are in just about ever porn flick you can find. Most straight men get aroused by watching two women. However, most straight or even bi women, don't become aroused by watching two guys go at it. Most of them would rather see one muscle bound hunk with another woman than with a guy.

Any how, after the relationship is made between a straight guy and a bisexual woman, the women will normally stick with her man and abide by his whishes of there being more females to play around with and such.

However, when a man is bisexual, well most women that I've talked to have judged bi men of being weird or show that they are to sexually active for a commited relationship. It holds the stench of wanting to be in many orgies and share the woman with many men and women. Though it's mostly not the case, it appears that way as a first impression. Not only that, but some women have also told me that they fear there man leaving them for another man.

When someone leaves another for a member of the oppisite sex, it's normally handled better by the one dumped than when the person is dumped for someone of the persons same sex. It tends to shatter more confidence in that person. When a guy tells his guy friends at the bar or the poker table that his wife left him for another women, he normally gets picked on or ragged about it. But when it's over another man, he gets the pat on the back "it'll be okay"

Just a few things for you to think about.




pinkpleasures -> RE: A General Question for submissives (8/27/2005 10:35:24 AM)

i never even heard of bi-sexual peope till i found D/s, and it has been annoying as hell dealing with HNG's who ask -- over and over -- won't you sleep with me and another woman? i want the trust and intimacy of a monogamous relationship with a Dom or Master, and that's all i want. i never understood why this preference was something to rag on me for...and the numbers of men who tried to persuade me i was "really bisexual and just did not know it" are damned near legion.

As for bisexual Men, i have some amoung my friends and They are very dear to me; i obviously found Them to be Great Men or i would not have befriended Them. However, i would not accept a bisexual Dom or Master because He would either have to give up an important aspect of His sexuality or else He'd be cheating on me (since i would not be there unless He promised monogamy). So, i see no future in a D/s relationship with a bisexual Man...but the idea that They are somehow lesser Men is ridiculous. Just like A/anyone else, take the time to judge each person on the merits, not the label.

pinkpleasures




slavedesires -> RE: A General Question for submissives (8/29/2005 9:00:54 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MtPleasantsubAsh

I see no clear implications as to your assumption that anyone says or believes that female bisexual is good, male bisexuality is bad...only that this particular woman stated her preference, which she has every right to. I abhor generalisations, and i'm pretty sure that is what you have just done...made an unfounded assumption, and therefore made an incorrect judgment and made yourself look the fool


(just my opinion)



i have been gone for a few days.... came back to read yahoo mail and found a reply so i began to read the other posters on this thread.....

this comment was rather strange and peculiar as i tried to peice it together.

who has made any assumption of such grand perposterous pretenses as to be be called a fool?

hasnt everyone given their own opinions on the matter? they prefer what they want for the reasons they want....whether they stated their reasons or not ... or am i so out in left field i cant see the game for my mit sheilding the sun so i can get the ball?

and we ALL make those annoying generalizations, thus unfounded assumptions, more than once in a weeks time, maybe a days time, whether we realize it or not...its just a matter of whether it irks someones itch strong enough to say something about it.

as you...just MY OPINION

[:)] ~~shy




Mercnbeth -> RE: A General Question for submissives (8/29/2005 10:04:51 AM)

quote:

The issue is the implied statement female bisexuals good, and male bisexuals bad. Would any care to comment on this seeming discrepancy?

this slave would not have assumed an implication of "good" vs "bad", but rather acceptable vs. unacceptable, as defined by the submissive in question only.

possible reasons this slave could think of for the discrepancy between the two:

1. this female could be used to attending "vanilla" clubs and bars where two females making out is seen as "cute" and/or attractive to heterosexual males, not a purely lesbian statement. it has been this slave's experience, two guys making out in a "vanilla" setting would typically be held at a bar where orientation is basically male homosexual. she could simply be seeking a stereotypically heterosexual male.

2. this female could have experience in her past with bisexual men and was sufficiently squicked by the experience to have it on her list of "deal breakers". again, she could simply be seeking a heterosexual male, given that her experience with bisexual men has left her unfulfilled and/or grossed out.

3. last but not least, it has been this slave's experience, vanilla and flavored, that any female on the planet willing to share her man with another female has an attitude that many men appreciate, especially if she doesn't have to be trained for it. she could simply be seeking a hererosexual male by casting a wide net.




ragdoll -> RE: A General Question for submissives (8/29/2005 4:33:45 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures

However, i would not accept a bisexual Dom or Master because He would either have to give up an important aspect of His sexuality or else He'd be cheating on me (since i would not be there unless He promised monogamy).



Why is it that people seem to often make this kind of judgement about bisexuals?? i find this MOST frustrating....

Maybe i'm in the "minority" of bisexuals, but if i were in a commited relationship with a man... i would not "have this need to have a relationship with a woman too". i would not feel like i need to have "both" at the same time, dating a man and a woman at once.

SAME with if i'm dating a woman, i would not need to "date a man on the side". i wouldn't tell a woman i was dating that she had to "agree that i could fuck men sometimes". i would never say that or suggest that or need that.

Why do people assume that bisexuals need to have "both a man and a woman"?? That bisexuals must be involved with both?

For me being bisexual only means that i am open to dating men and women. It doesn't mean i need to date both at the same time.

It's sort of like i'm open to dating black people and white people and hispanic people and asian people (etc).. but that doesn't mean if i were dating a hispanic person i'd have to also date a black, white and asian person too (on the side)...! You know?

i can just date one person. And by dating one person i don't feel like i'm somehow "stifling" some part of myself.

That said!!! i want to say i know pinkpleasures didn't say that to be offensive or anything! so please don't think i'm grumpy with you pink, it's just that i've heard other people kind of "express that same prejudice" against bisexual people before... and i really don't get where it comes from.

Unless... again.. i'm in the minority... maybe most bisexuals are that way (you know maybe most DO need to have a man and woman in their life at the same time).. but.. i'd like to believe that there are more bisexuals who are like me.


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterofNeed

One particular profile stated very clearly that she was not interested in bisexual Doms, and yet when I looked she herself was bisexual.
---

The issue is the implied statement female bisexuals good, and male bisexuals bad. Would any care to comment on this seeming discrepancy?


i know most people here are denying it (except for nella).. but i believe that if most women (who are bisexual themselves but are "against" being with a bisexual man) were completely honest in their hearts they would say that they do have a "double standard".

i think bisexual men (as nella said) are often perceived as "girlier" than straight men. That they are viewed as less masculine... less of a manly man... a bisexual man might be okay to be friends with (to these women) but for them to date? .........

i don't believe it has anything to do with "mere preference" because preferences come from somewhere they don't just fall magically out of the air. i prefer strawberries over blueberries because i think strawberries taste sweeter. i don't just have this "magical" preference for strawberries without any "reason".

....proudsub's suggestion also sounds realistic... HIV is more common among gay and bisexual males .. so that could be a very valid concern........

i'm sure some people will get grumpy about me suggesting there is a double standard... but!.. there really seems to be one.. for "straight" women who don't want to date bisexual men, i can see a lot more other valid reasons why they might not want to..... so my response has nothing to do with them. ~~

and hey! i could be wrong - but..




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