RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sexual Acts?

RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sexual Acts? (Full Version)

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MzMia -> RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sexual Acts? (11/11/2007 10:50:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsPleasure I don't engage in intercourse with any subs. But touching is involved in the form of spankings, strap, etc I mean this in a kind way, But using a strap-on, IS a sexual act.

azropedntied -> RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sexual Acts? (11/11/2007 11:02:48 PM)
MzMia a strap-on in many eyes,would be sex,when inserted IE penitration maybe oraly aswell . the use of a strap as a spanking tool not sure .again that definition of sex /sexual . if one climaxed from the strap's use on ones ass ?

MzMia -> RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sexual Acts? (11/11/2007 11:05:35 PM)
Oh, cough, cough....I forgot most people use strap on's as a spanking tool. How could I forget? Then it is certainly NOT a sexual act.

MsPleasure -> RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sexual Acts? (11/11/2007 11:08:34 PM)
True, but with an object I use on them..no skin to skin. I guess its a thin line between sexual act and sex.

MzMia -> RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sexual Acts? (11/12/2007 4:58:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsPleasure True, but with an object I use on them..no skin to skin. I guess its a thin line between sexual act and sex. I do agree, there is a very thin line between sexual acts, fantasies and sex.

missturbation -> RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sexual Acts? (11/12/2007 5:14:41 AM)
quote: Is there a difference between having sex, and in assisting someone in acting out their fantasies without engaging in sex? Yes, one involves the act of sex, one doesn't. quote: I understand fantasies are not always about sex. BUT, we are talking about an "escort service" where the women help the clients act out their fantasies, but do not have sexual intercourse. Are they crossing the line? Is there no line to cross? I don't see there is a line to cross unless they go on to have sex with the client. Even then it's not crossing a line if both client and escort agree upon this. quote: Oh they are in hotel rooms, etc. This is person to person contact--in person and alone. I don't quite see how this makes a difference.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sexual Acts? (11/12/2007 5:19:18 AM)
I never had sexual contact with my professional clients, but they absolutely were cheating on their spouses as far as I am concerned. To the vanilla world, a naked man with a clothed woman not his physician or massage therapist, performing acts of "perversion" is absolutely doing something sexual, and if he is hiding it, voila! cheating. Not all fantasies involve orgasms, or maybe even erections. I've done some pretty complicated fantasy roleplay where both of us were being "other" personas, and doubtless this held a sexual or transgressive thrill for the clients, but there was no sexual touching, and if there was any kind of masturbation or release it didn't happen in my presence.

MzMia -> RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sexual Acts? (11/12/2007 5:19:52 AM)
missturbation, I just asked the question to hear other people's opinions. Many people do NOT see a difference between sex and sexual acts, if you read the responses given here. Also, I was asked whether the "escorts" were meeting the clients real-time or on the phone or internet. For some people face to face contact, does make a difference. Reality is often your perception, on any issue. As you noticed many people would be upset if they found out their partners were seeing an escort, REGARDLESS of whether they had sex or not.

missturbation -> RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sexual Acts? (11/12/2007 5:30:25 AM)
As you noticed many people would be upset if they found out their partners were seeing an escort, REGARDLESS of whether they had sex or not. My perception was that they would be upset if their partner had kept it a secret. I'd just think it was funny to be honest. Mind you, as far as i'm concerned Sir can see, have sex with whomever He pleases whether He chooses to tell me or not. *I really can't see why it is a big deal to see an escort to fulfill fantasies if no sex is involved shrugs.*

Dnomyar -> RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sexual Acts? (11/12/2007 6:07:20 AM)
So what if someone is keeping it a secret or cheating. What business is it of yours. Are you the morality police. lmao some woman is gettng fucked in the ass and saying look that person is cheating.

MzMia -> RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sexual Acts? (11/12/2007 9:05:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus I never had sexual contact with my professional clients, but they absolutely were cheating on their spouses as far as I am concerned. To the vanilla world, a naked man with a clothed woman not his physician or massage therapist, performing acts of "perversion" is absolutely doing something sexual, and if he is hiding it, voila! cheating. Not all fantasies involve orgasms, or maybe even erections. I've done some pretty complicated fantasy roleplay where both of us were being "other" personas, and doubtless this held a sexual or transgressive thrill for the clients, but there was no sexual touching, and if there was any kind of masturbation or release it didn't happen in my presence. Thank you for a wonderful and well written response, LadyHibiscus. You made all the points I have been thinking. It is possible to act on fantasies with no sexual contact, but if you have to hide it or lie about it to your significant other, it is cheating. Until you are honest about what you are doing, it is basically the same as having an affair, in most people's eyes.

Celeste43 -> RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sexual Acts? (11/12/2007 10:15:43 AM)
If there's no physical contact it could be sexual without the risk of contracting a disease and passing it on to your partner. But going secretly to a prodomme says that I am a failure as a partner because he doesn't trust me enough to open up to me. Now if he wants this, I am not going to be the one to top him, I just wouldn't feel right going there. But telling me he has this need of bottoming, of getting a sensation overload I could deal with. I wouldn't want to know details, and I sure don't want to watch, but that's my problem. Keeping it secret, taking away from me knowing him and loving him entirely isn't right it my book. Yes there's a risk of me not being able to accept it, but that's my choice also. By keeping it secret, he removes my choices from me.

laurell3 -> RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sexual Acts? (11/12/2007 12:28:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation As you noticed many people would be upset if they found out their partners were seeing an escort, REGARDLESS of whether they had sex or not. My perception was that they would be upset if their partner had kept it a secret. I'd just think it was funny to be honest. Mind you, as far as i'm concerned Sir can see, have sex with whomever He pleases whether He chooses to tell me or not. *I really can't see why it is a big deal to see an escort to fulfill fantasies if no sex is involved shrugs.* hmm I don't know how "funny" it is that other people don't have your relationship. What works for you, does, that doesn't make it funny or workable for others. While I have been in "open" relationships, honesty and reporting was always a condition as I fear death by AIDS personally. I guess I'm just quirky like that, maybe that's "funny".

Prinsexx -> RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sexual Acts? (11/12/2007 12:52:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MzMia Is there a difference between having sex, and in assisting someone in acting out their fantasies without engaging in sex? yes...it's the distinction between my professional and private life...

therealboss -> RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sexual Acts? (11/12/2007 4:30:44 PM)
i can only say lol

MzMia -> RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sexual Acts? (11/13/2007 9:44:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation As you noticed many people would be upset if they found out their partners were seeing an escort, REGARDLESS of whether they had sex or not. My perception was that they would be upset if their partner had kept it a secret. I'd just think it was funny to be honest. Mind you, as far as i'm concerned Sir can see, have sex with whomever He pleases whether He chooses to tell me or not. *I really can't see why it is a big deal to see an escort to fulfill fantasies if no sex is involved shrugs.* hmm I don't know how "funny" it is that other people don't have your relationship. What works for you, does, that doesn't make it funny or workable for others. While I have been in "open" relationships, honesty and reporting was always a condition as I fear death by AIDS personally. I guess I'm just quirky like that, maybe that's "funny". I am with laurell, on this one. It is okay to have "casual" and "open" relationships AND it is also okay to NOT want a "casual" or "open" relationship. We are allowed to want and value what is important to US. Finding a partner that feels the way that you do, and values and respects what you do is the challenge. I would not stay in a relationship with a submissive or vanilla male that was sneaking around and acting on his fantasies without telling me, whether it was sexual or not. I would consider it cheating.

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