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RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sex... - 11/11/2007 10:50:30 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsPleasure

I don't engage in intercourse with any subs.  But touching is involved in the form of spankings, strap, etc


I mean this in a kind way, But using a strap-on, IS a sexual act.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to MsPleasure)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sex... - 11/11/2007 11:02:48 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		MzMia a strap-on in many eyes,would be sex,when inserted IE penitration maybe oraly aswell . the use of a strap as a spanking tool  not sure .again that definition of sex /sexual . if one climaxed from the strap's use on ones ass ?

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sex... - 11/11/2007 11:05:35 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		Oh, cough, cough....I forgot most people use strap on's as a spanking tool.
How could I forget?
Then it is certainly NOT a sexual act.
 

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to azropedntied)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sex... - 11/11/2007 11:08:34 PM   
MsPleasure


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline 		True, but with an object I use on them..no skin to skin.    I guess its a thin line between sexual act and sex.    

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sex... - 11/12/2007 4:58:03 AM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsPleasure

True, but with an object I use on them..no skin to skin.    I guess its a thin line between sexual act and sex.    


I do agree, there is a very thin line between sexual acts, fantasies and sex.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to MsPleasure)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sex... - 11/12/2007 5:14:41 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

Is there a difference between having sex, and in assisting someone in acting out their fantasies
without engaging in sex?

Yes, one involves the act of sex, one doesn't.
 

quote:

I understand fantasies are not always about sex.
BUT, we are talking about an "escort service" where the women help the clients
act out their fantasies, but do not have sexual intercourse.
 
Are they crossing the line?
Is there no line to cross?

I don't see there is a line to cross unless they go on to have sex with the client. Even then it's not crossing a line if both client and escort agree upon this.
 
quote:

Oh they are in hotel rooms, etc.
This is person to person contact--in person and alone.

I don't quite see how this makes a difference.
 







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What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sex... - 11/12/2007 5:19:18 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I never had sexual contact with my professional clients, but they absolutely were cheating on their spouses as far as I am concerned.  To the vanilla world, a naked man with a clothed woman not his physician or massage therapist, performing acts of "perversion" is absolutely doing something sexual, and if he is hiding it, voila! cheating. 

Not all fantasies involve orgasms, or maybe even erections.  I've done some pretty complicated fantasy roleplay where both of us were being "other" personas, and doubtless this held a sexual or transgressive thrill for the clients, but there was no sexual touching, and if there was any kind of masturbation or release it didn't happen in my presence. 

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[page 23 girl]



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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sex... - 11/12/2007 5:19:52 AM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		missturbation, I just asked the question to hear other people's opinions.
 
Many people do NOT see a difference between sex and sexual acts, if you read the responses given here.
 
Also, I was asked whether the "escorts" were meeting the clients real-time or on the phone or internet.
For some people face to face contact, does make a difference.
 
Reality is often your perception, on any issue.
As you noticed many people would be upset if they found out their partners were seeing
an escort, REGARDLESS of whether they had sex or not.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sex... - 11/12/2007 5:30:25 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		As you noticed many people would be upset if they found out their partners were seeing
an escort, REGARDLESS of whether they had sex or not.

My perception was that they would be upset if their partner had kept it a secret. I'd just think it was funny to be honest. Mind you, as far as i'm concerned Sir can see, have sex with whomever He pleases whether He chooses to tell me or not.
I really can't see why it is a big deal to see an escort to fulfill fantasies if no sex is involved *shrugs*.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sex... - 11/12/2007 6:07:20 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		So what if someone is keeping it a secret or cheating. What business is it of yours. Are you the morality police. lmao some woman is gettng fucked in the ass and saying look that person is cheating.

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sex... - 11/12/2007 9:05:50 AM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I never had sexual contact with my professional clients, but they absolutely were cheating on their spouses as far as I am concerned.  To the vanilla world, a naked man with a clothed woman not his physician or massage therapist, performing acts of "perversion" is absolutely doing something sexual, and if he is hiding it, voila! cheating. 

Not all fantasies involve orgasms, or maybe even erections.  I've done some pretty complicated fantasy roleplay where both of us were being "other" personas, and doubtless this held a sexual or transgressive thrill for the clients, but there was no sexual touching, and if there was any kind of masturbation or release it didn't happen in my presence. 


Thank you for a wonderful and well written response, LadyHibiscus.
You made all the points I have been thinking.
It is possible to act on fantasies with no sexual contact, but if you have to hide
it or lie about it to your significant other, it is cheating.
Until you are honest about what you are doing, it is basically the same as having
an affair, in most people's eyes.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sex... - 11/12/2007 10:15:43 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		If there's no physical contact it could be sexual without the risk of contracting a disease and passing it on to your partner.

But going secretly to a prodomme says that I am a failure as a partner because he doesn't trust me enough to open up to me. Now if he wants this, I am not going to be the one to top him, I just wouldn't feel right going there.

But telling me he has this need of bottoming, of getting a sensation overload I could deal with. I wouldn't want to know details, and I sure don't want to watch, but that's my problem.

Keeping it secret, taking away from me knowing him and loving him entirely isn't right it my book. Yes there's a risk of me not being able to accept it, but that's my choice also. By keeping it secret, he removes my choices from me.

(in reply to azropedntied)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sex... - 11/12/2007 12:28:00 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

As you noticed many people would be upset if they found out their partners were seeing
an escort, REGARDLESS of whether they had sex or not.

My perception was that they would be upset if their partner had kept it a secret. I'd just think it was funny to be honest. Mind you, as far as i'm concerned Sir can see, have sex with whomever He pleases whether He chooses to tell me or not.
I really can't see why it is a big deal to see an escort to fulfill fantasies if no sex is involved *shrugs*.


hmm I don't know how "funny" it is that other people don't have your relationship.  What works for you, does, that doesn't make it funny or workable for others.  While I have been in "open" relationships, honesty and reporting was always a condition as I fear death by AIDS personally.  I guess I'm just quirky like that, maybe that's "funny".

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sex... - 11/12/2007 12:52:33 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

Is there a difference between having sex, and in assisting someone in acting out their fantasies
without engaging in sex?


yes...it's the distinction between my professional and private life...

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sex... - 11/12/2007 4:30:44 PM   
therealboss


Posts: 227
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline 		i can only say lol

_____________________________

be the best

(in reply to azropedntied)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Acting on Fantasies without engaging in Sex Vs. Sex... - 11/13/2007 9:44:48 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

As you noticed many people would be upset if they found out their partners were seeing
an escort, REGARDLESS of whether they had sex or not.

My perception was that they would be upset if their partner had kept it a secret. I'd just think it was funny to be honest. Mind you, as far as i'm concerned Sir can see, have sex with whomever He pleases whether He chooses to tell me or not.
I really can't see why it is a big deal to see an escort to fulfill fantasies if no sex is involved *shrugs*.


hmm I don't know how "funny" it is that other people don't have your relationship.  What works for you, does, that doesn't make it funny or workable for others.  While I have been in "open" relationships, honesty and reporting was always a condition as I fear death by AIDS personally.  I guess I'm just quirky like that, maybe that's "funny".


I am with laurell, on this one.
It is okay to have "casual" and "open" relationships AND it is also okay to NOT want a
"casual" or "open" relationship.
We are allowed to want and value what is important to US.
Finding a partner that feels the way that you do, and values and respects what you do is
the challenge.
I would not stay in a relationship with a submissive or vanilla male that was sneaking around and acting on his fantasies without telling me, whether it was sexual or not.
I would consider it cheating.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 11/13/2007 9:47:34 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 36
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